Ohiofarmgirl's Adventures In The Good Land

Chicken McNuts

2012-01-31T06:30:00.000-05:00

There is a McDonald's on our way to the biggest small town near us. We pass it everytime we drive in and its always busy. Always. Lately they've been advertising an inhuman amount of their Chicken McNuts for like $2. It just sounds horrible.

One of the downsides of making your own food - and I mean when Step #1 is running out there and butchering something in your yard - is that you can't go out to eat anymore. It doesn't taste good. And its not worth it. At best its expensive and disappointing - and at worst you end up with ecoli or botulism. Or just sick because your system rejects all the crap they put in their food. And when I say "they" I mean to tell you its just about everyone. There's a couple places we can go but mostly we just avoid most of it.

We met some folks at their favorite diner recently. It was awful. I could believe it wasn't butter. And those were barely pancakes. More like space pancakes because I'm pretty sure if we launched them into orbit they'd still be there a million years from now and probably wouldn't even burn up if they ever hit atmo. I guess after a while you start to taste all of the fillers and stabilizers and such. Blech.

A couple news stories caught my eye recently. I dunno if you saw the story about the teenager who only ate McNuggets? Then she passed out and has health problems? Is anyone really surprised?

I tell you who isn't - Weight Watchers. Did you see that they have a "deal" with McD's to list McNuggets as a healthy option for their plan? I thought it was a joke at first. Seriously? Sure I get it that WW might want to list fast food in their points system. But to put the WW brand on the McD's menu? On McNuggets? Come on. I woulda loved to be at that marketing meeting. I bet a couple of them boys had a bet that it would never work.

Do you even know whats IN them chicken nuggets? Have you seen this gross pink stuff?

As a person who regularily guts chickens I can tell you two things...

1. To be clear, there are parts on a chicken that could be considered "nuggets" - but no one wants to eat them. Chicken nuts do not resemble their nugget counterparts. Aside from a rooster's cojones, there are no nuggets located on a chicken.

2. They claim that a generous 50% of the ingredients really is chicken in a nugget . White meat. I'm here to tell you that most of the meat on a young, but still ready, creepy meat is kinda white meat. There really isn't dark meat because the commercially raised and processed bird is so young. I'm not sure if this is a technicality - and McD's says "white boneless chicken" - which leaves the door open for a lot of pieces and parts. So I hope you weren't expecting all boneless breast meat in that whooping 50% meat.

Sure, you're saying to yourself, you dont eat that crap. What about the frozen stuff you're eating? Does it come in a bag? Does it pretend to be an appetizer or an anytime-tizer-thing? We got some a while ago thinking we'd have pizza and wing-dings. But after the first couple boneless wings we both started looking at each other. Sure, in an academic sense, it was in fact chicken. But there just seemed to be a little too much weirdness for us. Of all the chicken we've "made" here at home we've never had the same consistency or texture as what we found in an enticing bag of chicken wing bites in the freezer section of our local store.

I dunno. If we live in a world where someone's mother would let her kid eat nothing but nuggets for 15 years and where Weight Watchers strikes a "deal" with McDs to have a 50% meat-not-nut on their menu...then maybe we'd better have a little talk about nutrition in the next couple of weeks. What do you say?

I can tell you for a fact that we are not going to the McD's drive thru for a sack-o-chicken-nuts, no matter what the price.

Happy Tuesday everyone! Now spit out that breakfast-franken-food and go make yourself an egg!

My biggest fear - realized. Almost. Pretty much.

2012-01-30T08:52:00.000-05:00

Nicholas got a mouse last nite. Not just any mouse - but the King Mouse. I have a feeling the mouse retribution will be horrible. With this victory Nicholas crossed the Rubicon. There's no going back.

No wonder Nicholas has been brushing up on his ancient battle general history. He fought the good fight.

I heard the battle rage in the pre-dawn hours. I laid there gripped with fear thinking that at any moment he would jump up on the bed with that mouse. Its my biggest fear.

He didn't. But when I got up this morning there were pieces of mouse residue all down the hallway. Big. Gross. Pieces.What a way to start the day. Its gotta get better, right?

That Nicholas. It's always something with that guy.

Happy Monday everyone and I hope that you didn't step on anything gross that squished this morning!

Why we aren't welcome at the LensmakerMart anymore

2012-01-28T13:07:00.000-05:00

We had to go and get The Big Man glasses yesterday. It didn't go exactly as planned. We may very well never be allowed back to the LenzmakerMart. I can't tell if they just don't have a sense of humor there …..or if maybe we don't get “off farm” enough to be around decent folks. But you know how we are.

So my husband had to go renew his drivers license down at the DMV. Everything was going great until the learned government employee behind the counter failed him on the vision check. The way that guy was going on about giving my husband a daytime restriction for glasses and such you'd a thought he was blind as a bat. So we ran right down to the biggest small town and signed up for the exam at the local eye doc. Afterward she declared The Big Man's vision to be 20/30.

Are you kidding me? Just so's ya know – my vision is like 20/200 in my good eye. Yes. I need a daytime restriction but him? Really? The doc even said that they should have passed TBM but the DMV guys are notoriously jerks and they have their machine set badly. I admit that after shelling out $75 to find out the government employees are jerks kinda put me in a bad mood. So we probably shouldn't have taken it out on the good folks at the LenzmakerMart. But they may have had it coming.

Not having had lunch yet, and having a bad attitude, I marched into the closest LenzmakerMart, glasses prescription in hand, and demanded the "least dorky glasses at the cheapest possible price for that guy” (*pointing at TBM*). We were kindly directed to the cheap wall of frames.

Finding glasses frames for TBM turned out to be a challenge because he does in fact have a head that resembles a giant pumpkin. The situation was ripe for hilarity and we very nearly peed our pants laughing at the bad options.

At one point I turned around and yelled... I mean... asked the LenzmakerMart gal for “the MOST dorky glasses.” She didn't think any of her inventory was “dorky.” Until TBM turned around wearing the old man/Uncle Stanley huge plastic rimmed frames. We were hanging off each other with laughter. Some folks who started to walk into the shop turned around and walked back out. The LenzmakerMart gal glared at us. We couldn't help ourselves and kept laughing.

Eventually we found a suitable option and I have to admit TBM looks rather fetching in his new specs. But before we could return to the safety of our farm we had to go thru one last ordeal. They sat us down and fired up the Opti-Tron 9000. TBM needed an eye scan so they could make the lenses for the new frames.

In my defense I gotta say that gal really needs to lighten up and find some joy in life. She was kind of dour. So I shouldn't have expected much when I told her my concerns that their new fangled eye scanner Opti-Tron 9000 thingy was really part of a vast government conspiracy to track and catalog us good citizens with retinal scans.

Not.
One.
Laugh.

I thought it was kinda funny And its not like I said “rectal” scans which is what I almost said....

Anyway.

She was also mad because I wouldn't let her upsell us on all the upgrades that don't come with the stated price for the lenses. Not even the $30 “One Year Limited Guarantee.” With a tone that you'd expect from a jaded school marm she said “not to come crying to her if we needed them replaced in a year.”

I kindly told her I'd be happy to stand there and let her give me the “told you so” if it came to it. She and I glared at each other. The Big Man squirmed uncomfortably briefly before he snatched me up by the hand and thanked our helpful sales gal...and then drug me quickly to the food-o-rama to improve my attitude with french fries and ice cream.

It worked and pretty soon we were laughing about how hopefully he'd get his license renewed next week without incident. Or maybe by the time it was done with he'd end up not only with glasses for his “failing” eyesight, but also a hearing aide, a cane, and orthopedic shoes. For heavens sakes.

So now we're sitting here watching TV - both of us with our glasses. But of course I can't just let it go so from time to time I gotta call him "Four Eyes." Or as one of all y'all suggested, Urkel.

I'm a fine one to talk since I've had glasses since I was a teen. Of course I've never felt bad about it. And aside from when the dog ate my $600 reading glasses I've never needed the $30 year guarantee. That poor gal at the LenzmakerMart is just gonna have to bide her time to give us that “told ya so.”

So that's the long and short of it. You can't take us anywhere, I guess. But least we can laugh about it.

Happy Saturday everyone! Anyone else head into town lately?

Pasta alla OFG - Farmstyle

2012-01-27T09:07:00.001-05:00

You know that I love liver in the wurst way. And it goes without saying that bacon tops my list as one of the all time best foods known to man. The questions then, was how to combine my two truest loves.

Pasta alla OFG...Farmstyle.. that's right baby!

I thought. I considered. I pondered. Then it came to me. All I really needed was a vehicle on which to deliver the lovely liver and the precious bacon...... pasta. And then I could include my other favorite food groups, cheese and cream. And of course there is booze involved. So I created Pasta alla OFG. Farmstyle. Whoot!

Wondering how to incorporate more liver into your life? Here's how.

Step 1: Run right out and butcher some chickens in the yard..... Hum. Maybe we don't need to start that far back....

Ingredients:
Bacon, several slices
Onions - a handful
Chicken livers - however many you've got
Brandy - a splash and a glass. The glass is for you, the splash is for the pan.
Chicken stock - enough to fill the bottom of the pan and then some
Cream - a big glug
Some kind of grated cheese, preferably some you've made yourself
Lots of ground black pepper

Starting with a cold pan, slice up some bacon into a medium dice. Turn on the heat and allow the fat to render or add more bacon fat from that jar you keep on the stove. After the fat has rendered and the bacon has started to cook, add a handful of onions. I like mine chunky style. All this can happily cook on the stove until it suits your liking. I don't like my bacon overly crispy so I cook until the chewy stage.

In the meantime, clean and cut up some fresh chicken livers. Watch out for that weird green thing! Thats the bile duct. Throw that away. Don't get any of it on you or your livers or anywhere. Recoil with horror from it. Preferably you've already tossed this when you were dressing the chickens.

Add the cut up livers to the bacon pan and gently cook until most of the pink is gone. Add a grinding of black pepper. Then add a big splash of brandy. Let this cook while you toss back the glass of brandy you've poured for yourself. Carefully place head over pan and smell the heavenly scent of bacon, liver, and brandy all swimming together. For heavens sakes be careful so that you don't ignite the brandy, tho, and burn down your house.

After the sharp smell of the brandy has cooked off, add some chicken stock. How much? How much sauce do you need? Coat the bottom of the pan and a little more, at least, and let it cook together. Add some cream - at least a big glug. Add another grinding of black pepper.

Wait! Did you forget to start your pasta? Whole wheat pasta? Whatcha doin' eating white pasta? Throw that away right now. Whole wheat pasta is better in so many different ways. And its sturdy enough to stand up to for itself in this dish. Might as well pour yourself a little more brandy while you're standing around waiting for the pasta to cook because you didn't start it first. Sheesh!

Make sure you dip out a little of the pasta cooking water and add it to the sauce - not more than a quarter of a cup. Then add the pasta and coat with the sauce. Really toss it around in the pan like you know what you're doing. Can you flip the whole thing over without throwing it all over the wall? That's the way. Say, have more brandy while your at it.

Then add in your freshly grated, aged, goatsmilk cheese. You know the one like this? It grates like parm. Fantastic. And more black pepper. The sauce should be thick and coat the pasta. Voila! Pasta alla OFG.

To make it truly Farmstyle....Serve yourself up a big portion, add more grated cheese and more black pepper. Pour yourself a lovely little cab and stagger.. I mean... head toward the couch for an evening of pasta, bacon, liver and crime time TV....of course, with a herd of over interested cats trailing you.

Least ways, that's how we get 'er done around here.

Happy Friday everyone!

Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon

2012-01-26T09:11:00.000-05:00

Bacon!

More bacon!

Bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon!

Black pepper bacon, home cured and smoked.

Seriously - what else do I have to say? Yay bacon!

Yesterday I finally got around to slicing up the last pieces of bacon that I cured. And then I smoked one cold night. Once its smoked its pretty stable so no I wasnt worried that I hadn't sliced it right away. Plus our beer/meat fridge is on the coldest setting so it was just fine. The thing about real, fresh meat is that it stays good longer than anything you get in the store.

So I sliced our bacon thick and put it in freezer bags. Of course I had to test it first. Home cured and smoked bacon is amazing. I had a lot of BLT's yesterday. I really liked the pepper version - it was nice and snappy. The piece in the first two pictures was just regular, no special seasoning, plain smoked bacon. The last pic is the black pepper version. The difference is what spices are added during the curing process.

Yesterday I also smoked some of the jowl that I had curing. And I strung up some other pieces to dry cure. Its amazing. After all the stuff you hear about food safety, all you do is cure a piece of meat in salt and then hang it in your basement for a couple days or weeks and voila - pancetta or guanciale. Can you believe that? One of these days, when I can build a real smoke house, I'm going to try curing a prosciutto. But until then I'm going to go and fry up some thick cut bacon and have me another BLT. For breakfast.

Go Bacon!

Happy Thursday everyone! Are you all drowning in this crazy rain? Or is the sleet and freezing rain upon you?

It's like riding a bicycle....

2012-01-25T06:30:00.000-05:00

Tuesday was a hard day on the farm. Tuesday was a great day on the farm. Tuesday was a hard day on the farm.....Sometimes this life is like riding a bicycle.

Angel - nothing special or remarkable. She was the sweetest thing.

The down strokes are the hard days. The days when the bugs eat all your green bean, or the rain won't stop, or you go out to find rats in your turkey house. That's the hard work. It feels pointless, its repetitive, and sometimes it feels like its all uphill.

The upstrokes are the good days. When you go out to find a perfectly blue sky day and the birds are singing, and the skip poppin' baby goats come running around the barn to dance and prance away the day, or when your best hard workin' farm dog helps you and its like you can read each other's minds. The good days are a piece of cake and its all sunshine and roses. Its like driving fast with your windows down and the radio up and the wind in your hair on a straight country road with no one around for miles.

But the upstrokes and the down strokes, together, propel you forward. Hard, easy, hard easy, pretty soon you're making progress. The hard times - the challenges - force you out of your comfort zone and make you learn something new. All "easy" days give you a false sense of well being and don't let you master the skills you need to keep going. And it makes you ungrateful and self absorbed. Its good to remember the cost at which your life comes. It keeps you honest. Its the difference between "Hey look at everything I've done!" and "I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me."

Tuesday was Angel's last day with us. She was just a chicken, one of my laying hens. Nothing remarkable or interesting about her, just a regular old laying hen with a big floppy comb and beautiful white feathers. Of course she was a favorite. She was one of the original chicks that we got when we started out. I think she must have been 7 or 8 years old. I can't even believe that she lasted this long - I prepared to preach her funeral 2 or 3 times when she had a prolapse a couple summers ago and I was sure she wouldn't make it. But she did.

This time her luck ran out. She developed some kind of abscess that couldn't be fixed and her number was up. My smart friend calls this kind of end "the final kindness." And so it was and it was time. It should have been last week but I couldn't bring myself to make the decision. Tuesday, tho, I couldn't put it off any longer.

We've had a lot of attrition lately with our good old hens, but that's only because they are getting along in years. So one by one we are saying goodbye to them. Most of them we just let pass away with dignity, unless, like Angel, they were suffering.

Angel PurplePants held a special place in my heart. There's a funny story about her, and how she got her name, and I'll write it up one day. But not today. She was my good ol' girl and we had a fun relationship. She let me carry her around. She came when I called her. She wasn't flappy and ridiculous. She was the sweetest thing. So we buried her beside a lovely little tree in the garden.

That was the down stroke.

The upstroke was that we also hauled in a full harvest of meat chickens. We probably have about 35 pounds of fresh, naturally raised meat cooling in our coldest fridge right now. Tomorrow I'll part them up and we'll have good eating for many meals. And they are huge too. So many dinners, so much stock, so many leavin's for the cats. Thank heaven for our full harvest! We've fed them on the cheap and now are getting a just reward. To be sure it was a cold day with a biting wind but that just made us work a little faster.

So it was a weird day. One to her grave and others to their glory in noodles. Sometimes folks ask me how we can butcher our own chickens. But today just showed its all how you think about it. We'd never send dear little Angel to the pot but we couldn't get that mean meat roo to the block fast enough.

Down stroke. Upstroke. Just keep peddling. It feels like progress.

Have a great Wednesday everyone - and if you have a special hen, give her an extra snuggle and tell her she's the sweetest thing.

Berry Crisp in Winter

2012-01-23T06:30:00.001-05:00

We all survived the Ice Storm 2012-near-disaster.. whew! But at this writing (late on Sunday nite) it looks like things are cranking up again on the weather front. Hopefully Monday morning we'll still have the lights on. This is what I'll be having for breakfast...

What could be more decadent than berry crisp in winter?

Remember when we dominated at the U-pick strawberry farm? And then we went on a blueberry rampage? Those were probably two of the best projects we did last summer...well not including all of these also... but berry picking really paid off in a great way.

For the last couple weeks we've been in a crisp frenzy. Specifically blueberry and strawberry crisp. What a joy to have a little bit of summer just when you need it in their dark winter days.

This one was a combination of whole blueberries, ready to go blueberry filling, and ready to go strawberry filling made last summer and frozen in those gladlock containers. Easy peasy!

And nothing could be easier to fix. I grab about a quart of each - either whole berries or portioned, already-made, thickened fruit filling from the freezer and put them in my baking dish. I let them cook low and slow (maybe 325*?) for 30 - 45 minutes...and then I make the topping.

What's in the topping? Whatcha got? Mine is roughly equal parts of old fashioned oats and flour, then enough brown sugar to be sensible...and enough butter to make it look 'pebble-y' when whirred in a mini-chopper (or food processor if you have one).

Take the now-melted-berries out of the oven, shake on the topping evenly, and put it back in for about 30 minutes or until the crisp topping is.. well... is crisp and lightly browned. You can turn up the heat to about 350-375*.

Berries + cream = heaven

Then its nothing but berry-liciousness and cream... oh golly who wants some?

Happy Monday everyone! Got a weather eye on the sky? These winter thunderstorms can pack a wallop - everyone OK?

Oh no I didn't... Oh yes I did.

2012-01-19T08:43:00.000-05:00

Oh yes I did. Come on, admit it....

... how many of you panicked when you heard that Hostess declared Chapter 11 and may go belly up? Did you run right out and buy yourself a box of Ho-Ho's or Ding Dong's or Twinkies or what not?

Liars.

Sure you did. We saw you huddled around the same end cap at the local Safeway or Kroger or PigglyWiggly or what not trying to decide which one to buy. I know because we saw you there. Why, we were standing next to you doing the same thing.

All of us, about the same age, nervously laughing about "do we or don't we"? Then we all walked away with a box of memories in our carts.

I have to tell you tho. After about 5 or 6 of them Ho-Ho's I remembered why I hadn't had one in about 20 years. I nearly died to tell you the truth. I think I might stick with that Michael Pollan's idea of making my own junk food from now on.

While I ain't got any particular love for Twinkies, deep fried or not, I do hope that our grand ol' gal, Hostess, makes it out of bankruptcy and doesn't end in a fizzle.

Well now, you can deny it all if you like but if you didn't buy yourself a box of Hostess whatevers, I'm sure you thought about it. Go on now and admit it. If not, there'll be an alter call for all you liars later.

Ho-Ho's just aren't the same with out the foil wrapper so I do believe that I've had my last one. Goodnite, sweet Hostess, and good luck!

Any body else give themselves a headache with bad snack cake choices? Happy Thursday!

More on Dogs and Livestock

2012-01-18T06:30:00.000-05:00

THANKS, everyone, for all the great comments on our post about having big dogs! Great feedback and thoughts from everyone. A couple questions and comments came up several times so I thought I'd tackle them all here, if that's ok?

How do you train a hard workin' farm dog? Run right out and get the book, How to Be Your Dog's Best Friend. The book is by the Monks of New Skete who raise and train German Shepherds and is a great resource. Follow it to the letter and you'll be just fine. Then go and watch about 100 hours of Cesar Millan on Hulu. You'll remember that the bad owners are too much for us to watch, but wow, I learned a lot from his book, Be the Pack Leader. And for folks who want to train their herding dogs, well, The Farmer's Dog is a classic.

One thing to remember, tho, is that managing big dogs is a lot of work. And not everyone has the personality for it. Or the time that it takes to train a big, hard workin' farm dog. So if its not your thing than that's just fine - there's nothing wrong with a good ol' family dog.

Luckily for me, I'm naturally bossy and believe in hard work and discipline. And it doesn't hurt that I'm a kind of a bad ass with zero tolerance for shenanigans.

We had a funny conversation the other day with someone who was interested in our curly tailed bear killer pups, Zander and Kai, and was gently trying to figure out if we had "too much dog." He looked up at The Big Man who answered that he'd always had big dogs and had been known to make big dogs pee their pants with his voice, so no problem. Then our friend turned to me and asked if I probably had problems managing the dogs? Because I'm a small person with a not deep voice?

"Nope," I said and looked straight at our friend, "I am one bad mutha-fu$!%*er." For his part, The Big Man just nodded and said something about how dogs three counties over cringe when I get cranking if there is naughtiness going on. You have to be the boss of your dog and definitely the leader of your pack.

What about dogs and livestock? I think DOC said it best... with a lot of work and the right handler it works. To be sure the biggest threat to your livestock is a dog running loose. To make sure its not YOUR dog that is the threat you need to persistently, continually, relentlessly reinforce to your dog that you "own" all the livestock. And its on you to make sure that you organize your barnyard so that success is possible.

Put your critters behind fences, teach your dog not follow you thru a gate (unless invited), show your dog the livestock and tell them, "This is mine." Teach your dog "leave it." Encourage your dog to help you round up the critters but not in some crazed, wild eyed chase. Hold your dog by the collar (or harness which works best) and slowly walk him with you while you round up the hens saying "bring them in." We have a command that means, "keep doing what you are doing but slow down" so there isn't a prey-driven chase. Be enthusiastic with your praise when your dog performs well. Provide the right correction when he doesn't. Many big dogs like to work and all dogs love having a job.

But don't forget for one minute that wrapped in whatever packaging that defines your dog's breed - at his heart he is a prey seeking, blood lusting, killing machine. You can shape it. You can command it. You can give it a job. But at his heart your dog is a wolf. Several dogs working together is a pack and all they want to do is kill something. Your ordinarily reserved, good natured dog will be very happy to be out there killing all your chickens if egged on by his brother dogs. Or even if one chicken looks at him funny. So supervise your dog at all times.

The exception to this are livestock guardian dogs - which are so hardwired to guard flocks of whatever you've got that they really don't need training. But we don't have those so we manage with training and supervision.

But what about the danger of mixing dogs and livestock? I'm willing to take that chance especially since, in my case, its more about the danger of livestock to me. Don't fool yourself, friend. The barnyard is a dangerous place especially if you aren't a particularly big person. As our livestock gets bigger so grows the danger to yours truly.

My city friends are convinced its all a big petting zoo out there but I'm here to tell you that's just not the way of things. Even the most docile goat can have a bad day and all bets are off when any of the critters are in rut. I like having Dog#1 sitting at the gate waiting for my signal to run to my rescue, if required.

Remember when poor Jenna got run over my her sheep? (See "Ten Horns 9/19/11) I can tell you for a fact that there is no way my dogs would let a bunch of stupid sheep run me down. And if they did, the dogs wouldn't leave me lying out there in the field. I know this because I've fallen before, one time badly, and Dog#1 rushed over and used his huge head to lift me up. And he let me put all my weight on him so I could stand.

As for rampaging flocks, the dogs tend to act differently if there is cause for alarm and I've learned to listen to them. More than once the dogs have been at my side before I even knew there was malfeasance occurring. They've also learned that a sharp breath in (that precedes my scream) is the signal to come charging my way.

What if the dogs aren't around? They're always around - the only time they aren't is if they are intentionally gated in up on the deck. We always hold a proximity. We even have a command that means 'stay where I can see you' so that all the dogs kept are nearby. Its good for my safety and its good for me to supervise them.

It may seem like a big responsibility for your dog to protect you, but that's what they do. And inevitably someone will get mad and say, "Oh YEAH? Well. My goat could kill your dog!" Beggin' your pardon, but your goat may kill your dog. But not mine. Could a goats get in a few good hits? Maybe a lucky blow? Sure. But we chose our dogs to be sturdy enough to stand their ground when necessary. I've seen, and commanded, our dogs to stand their ground with the goats. I'm here to tell you that its not even a fair fight.

Another someone was wondering why we chose these curly tailed bear killers when we have stock? Remember that I'm out there alone most of the time. So I need my defensive team to be pretty big and burly. A couple of hundred pound bear killers are just the ticket. An unconventional choice for farming? Sure. But that's how we get 'er done around here.

We also need hunters. The shepherds (Ti and Lucky) aren't natural hunters at all. With fox central just on the other side of the goat yard, and the coyotes getting closer each season, we need to make sure we have some natural born killers out there. So Kai and Zander's job #1 will be to work as a team to clear out the varmints and keep the predators at bay. They probably will not develop the herding qualities that the shepherds have. But Kai is starting to get the hang of bringing in the chickens.

So that's the rest of the story on dogs and livestock. The next time you are out in your barnyard go and look at your goat. See that her eyes are on the sides of her head? That's so she can see behind her when something is chasing her. Now go look at your dog. Forward facing binocular vision. Predator. Prey. That's the way of things. If you work hard you can get that wolf not to kill your prey. But it takes persistence. Supervision. Hard work. Discipline. That's our way of things.

Now whatcha waiting for? Get out there and teach that dog to herd up all them chickens and bring them in.

Happy Wednesday everyone!

In Praise of Salmon Faverolles

2012-01-17T06:30:00.000-05:00

This first time I saw some Salmon Faverolle chicks I knew I had to have them.

My beautiful Jane.

They were adorable little puffballs and it was easy to tell the roos from the ladies by their different colors. So quick as a wink I grabbed a trio, stuffed them in a sack, and ran for the truck before their previous owner could object. Salmon Faverolles are now one of my favorite chicken breeds. Great layers, easy keepers, and they have excellent table qualities that make this dual purpose chicken a must have for everyone's barnyard. And they are on the ALBC list.

Total Goof

The are, however, ridiculous. As in total goofballs. And nothing bad you've ever read about this is true. They are not shy, they don't get picked on my other chickens, and the roos can be formidable. They may surprise you. I once found the shattered remains of what was once a huge rat next to an over-agitated Salmon Fav hen who had obviously stomped that rat to death. You wouldn't expect it from a fluffy ridiculous chicken. Cool blooded killers.

Original trio, see the hens are light brown and the dark one is the rooster

I started with the ladies, Eliza and Jane, and their roo, Mr. Tibbles. I am currently overrun with Salmon Faverolles and I just love it. Mr. Tibbles is definitely my favorite rooster right now. However, he has the most annoying habit of not letting me talk. As soon and I start chatting with the Good Neighbor Mom, Mr. Tibbles struts over near me and starts screaming his head off. Goof. He's only flogged me once and I think he was just having a bad day. Despite his size he doesn't let the other bigger roosters push him around.

See that Mr. Tibbles with his fancy finery is really only as big as a normal hen.

Salmon Fav's aren't big chickens. They are really plump and round in shape, have tuffed ears, fluffy little faces, and one weird extra toe. I am not lying. They have an extra toe. I do not know why but its a little creepy especially on the chicks. Except for that freaky fifth toe tho, everything about Salmon Fav's is rollypolly and beautiful. Check it out in the picture below - see the extra toe on the hen?

See Mr. Tibbles' stunning feathers and coloring? He's showing this young hen where to find food.

My two mature Salmon Fav hens are complete opposites. Jane is lovely and refined and demure. Eliza is a nutbag. I'm not kidding. She is certifiable. She's flappy and ridiculous, likes to perch up high, doens't like to come in at night, and does not like to be told what to do. Eliza had exactly one chick hatch last summer - Doolittle. I call her that because she does little but be ridiculous. She's lovely tho and a keeper. Doolittle doesn't fit the light beige, salmon color standard - she's obviously a mix and is beautifully black and white splashed.

A close pix of that freaky extra toe and the roo's fancy coloring.

I loved that they were funny little chickens, really appreciated that they were good layers... but what got me was when we dressed one particularly mean roo. I figured I'd get a handful of meat from what was surely mostly feathers on that small, angry roo's carcass. But wow was I surprised! It was a lot of meat that was amazingly tender and delicious... dare I say.... delicate?

All their extra fluff makes them cold hardy. Winter? What winter? This gal is still laying.

Chicken from your yard is always more chicken-y then what you get in the store but the meat from the Salmon Fav roo was so...so... sublime... that it was stunning. We'll have another Rooster Day here soon and dress the rest of the extra roos. I'll take some pix and better notes if I haven't sold you already on why you should have a couple lovely Salmon Faverolles in your barnyard.

So what do you think, Chai Chai? Are you ready for some Salmon Faverolles?

Happy Tuesday everyone, remember that the hatcheries will start cranking up their incubators soon. So why not add a couple of Salmon Fav's to your order? You won't be sorry...unless that freaky extra toe is just too weird.

Whatcha doin' with them big dogs anyway?

2012-01-16T06:30:00.000-05:00

Sometimes folks ask me what we are doing with all these big dogs.

My Number One Dog, Titan, on patrol. Isn't he something?

They ask, aren't they a lot of work? Expensive to feed? Provide jaw-dropping vet bills? And what about having those curly tailed bear killers with livestock - aren't they just gonna eat the goats? Is it worth it?

The answers are... yes, yes, yes, I hope not, and ohmigolly, yes.

Yes, I spend my days repetitively issuing commands, pointing in the direction I want the dogs to go, telling them "don't touch that", and standing there glaring while a stubborn pup walks painstakingly slowly toward me. I've probably only slept in past 8:30am twice in the last 16 months because one of them needed to go out and pee (who's idea was it to get a pup two years in a row?).

And I've had more than a few hair pulling, hat throwing moments punctuated by flying tackles to save a flappy hen from certain death at the hands of an over interested pup. But the training pays off when I'm watching Titan hot stepping a bad rooster back into the hen house, or when I send Kai around to "go bark" at something.

We go thru a 50 pound bag of expensive dog food a week - even with all the meat and stuff we supplement from our barnyard. As for the vet bills, well, I had an expensive truck repair and I tell you the truth - that pup gets better mileage... or should I say "smileage" than that truck, for sure.

As far as the livestock goes, any one, and definitely any two or more of those dogs working together could easily kill any of the goats. But so far the goats aren't stupid enough to get out of their yard and I haven't been stupid enough to leave the gates unlocked so the dogs can get into the goats. And we are working on carefully shaping those bear killer's prey drive...... without being fooled for a moment that their biggest joy in life would be to release their inner wolf and to pull down one of them meat bags... I mean, goats.

But even so, folks ask, isn't it dangerous having high-prey-drive-dogs with obviously-prey goats?

You know what's dangerous, friend? Living out here in the country. Time was that you were safe living in a small town. Now things are different and this small town has seen its share of big time city violence. Living out in the country with the crazies and the ol' wild cats used to be manageable. But now, hell. Now you've got pot growers, meth labs, and just plain, no-damn-good folks with nothing but violence in mind. Throw on top of that the cuts in public service - many of the local sheriff and law enforcement agencies have had to lay off some of their officers - and at best we are 15 to 20 minutes from a 911 response even on a good day.

So while it would be sad if the pups went on a rampage and killed some hens or the goat - what I'm really concerned about is who is gonna show up here looking to do harm and what I'm gonna do about it. Four enormous, barking, snarling, territorial dogs who work together are our first line of defense. Aside from, you know, the actual fence... and the gate, of course.

Big dogs are reliable, never jam, and are always loaded. Unlike bullets, I can always call the dogs back. And I don't have to be around for them to work. Large barking dogs, like gunfire, are disorienting and tend to scare off opportunistic ne'er-do-wellers. Or at least slow them down. Not that I'm against firearms. In this part of the world "gun control" means hitting your target and making it look like a defensive shooting, even if the offender is running away in a slow, arching pattern.

Having big dogs in the yard is also a good deterrent if thieves are out looking for their next robbery. If your house can't be seen from the road, a couple big dogs behind your gate are a great way to send bad guys to the next house. I didn't think this would actually happen to us until one day I had a guy pull into our drive "looking for directions." We got the gate the next weekend. And yes, the dogs kept him in his truck. I've never seen anyone roll up a window so fast. Just so's ya know, out here no one in their right mind would drive up to a house they can't see just to say "hi" and ask where Timmy's house is located.

Of course, having big dogs has its downside. The mail man and the UPS guy hate delivering out here. I tell them to hold our packages at the post or just throw the deliveries over the gate. Mostly the delivery guys are good sports about it. But I'd rather have the inconvenience of having to drive down to get whatever I ordered then to have a couple of Labradoodles out there scaring exactly no one.

I know a guy who lives in civilization. One night not too long ago a couple of them clipboard carrying types knocked, then pushed their way into the house when this guy opened the door. This guy's wife and two small kids were in the kitchen having dinner. This guy is man of action, so he got the bad guys shoved right back out. But this guy said to me that it was the first time he "got" the dog thing. Yep. Even if someone makes it down the drive, I only answer the door with at least two dogs at my six. Bad guys might be able to push their way in, but friend, I am here to tell you they wouldn't enjoy what they would find inside.

To be sure big dogs aren't for everyone. And families should have family dogs... but I am glad I've got all this mouth and teeth around me. Sometimes folks ask if Dog#1 is really just a big teddy bear. Nope. He loves me for sure, but the rest of your son's-o'-golly-whats are on your own.

We had a situation nearby that could have very easily gone even worse than the tragedy that was left when the smoke cleared. The dogs started howling at the sirens but I didn't think too much about it until the Good Neighbor Mom called and asked if I'd seen the warnings on the news. Suffice it to say we all locked the gates, got the guns, and put the dogs out. Mercifully the situation was contained but innocent lives were lost for no good reason.

After we got the 'all clear' I called the dogs back in and we all sat there. Me and the big dogs and the curly tailed pups. I'm not foolish enough to think that if home invaders made their way into the house that it would be like a movie scene with the dog saving the day. But I do know that it wouldn't be too easy for them bad guys to get inside in the first place.

That night, as we sat and watched the news report, Titan put his huge head on my chest and gave a big dog sigh. If it came to it I knew that he'd stand with me. I'd seen him stand in the splash zone and not flinch when the shooting started for our hog harvest, watched him get that pig turned when it was charging right at me, and scare back another pig who was coming over the fence. And heaven knows my Dog#1 and I have battled that gander more than a few times.

I don't know exactly what would happened if violence came our way. But I do know that me and the dogs, well, we'd put up one hell of a fight.

Keep an eye out for malfeasance, friends, and keep the gates closed. You just never know what's gonna happen.

Does everybody have today off? Everyone gets a holiday but the chickens never get a day off and neither do I.

Miss Ginny's Chicken

2012-01-15T12:38:00.000-05:00

This morning it was 0* when I took the dogs out. So today my plan is to do exactly what the temperature was.. nothing. So I thought I'd show everyone's Ginny's chick!

Remember a while ago we had that funny hatch and I started handing out chicks.. well, really I was just assigning some folks a chick? Ginny, from over at Gingergbread's House, got a beautiful chick - I knew she was a hen when I first saw her (the chicken not our Miss Ginny). So, here she is...

Isn't she beautiful? We had funny lighting that morning but the chick, named Ginny, is just a stunner. I love her lovely speckles. She is the softest white with pale brown, and non-feathered legs. She's got a beautiful shape. She'll be "heavy" and wedge shaped and a good layer for sure. Some of these young hens are starting to lay, but we haven't been pushing them. In a few weeks, tho, we'll start to see things pick up with the longer days.

You can see that she's not as big as some of the hens. Here she is with Raspberry, my beautiful brown-red Cochin hen. Ginny the chick also has the "right" number of toes. Many of this hatch came from one of the Salmon Faverolles, which have a fifth toe. Its kinda freaky but I don't mind too much.

This will probably be her rooster.... he's yet unnamed as he just got a pass on Rooster Day last week. Look how beefy he is! These light brahmas dress out beautifully. The only drawback is that they have this kind of weird "single hair" feathers...long thin wisps. If they are missed during plucking I just singe them off with a lighter. Easy peasy.

Today the sun is out and all the troops are out in their yards. Its started cold but is now a balmy 20*. Everyone had cabin fever from being cooped up for the last two days so they are out enjoying the sunshine.

I still have sloth and am parked by the fire with Nicholas. The weather will break on Monday or Tuesday and then I"ll get busy but until then..... I'm gonna just sit here by the fire.

Happy Sunday everyone!

What we've been getting ready for....

2012-01-14T06:30:00.000-05:00

This is why I haven't been around much. We had to get ready. It showed up late on Thursday nite. And stayed.

The White Death is here. By the end of the day this hill was covered in snow. In reality we didn't get that much snow. But the bitter cold temperatures had me in a tizzy. We had some very cold wind chills and at this writing, late on Friday nite, we are headed below zero.

The dogs loved the cold and snow. Especially our little snow face. Zander doesn't have his undercoat just yet so we could tell when he started to get cold. But Kai didn't have one hoot for the blowing wind and snow. She loved it and didn't want to come inside.

Everyone else was confined to quarters. Even the barncats. If the wind hadn't been blowing so bad we would have let everyone out. But as it was, there wasn't any reason to be outside. Last winter we would have been lucky to only have 16*...but the animals just aren't just used to this cold. We had a beautiful 50* day earlier in the week!

We were really glad we took care of the extra roosters earlier in the week. Having that gang of thugs locked in with the hennies all day would have been a disaster. And the roos would have been fighting all day.

I gave the hens some extra rations, some special snacks, and some hay to keep them entertained. Their water didn't even freeze so I knew they were warm enough. The ducks and geese were doing just fine but I made sure they all had fresh straw so they had somewhere dry to stand. The meat chickens were just fine, they had a couple heat lamps.

Debbie the goat seemed like she was a little chilled. We fixed her up with some B1, molasses, and Nutri-drench. Of course, they had a little extra bagged food, warm water, and all the extra hay they could eat. Oddly, it was exactly at this time last year that we also had to fix her up. This pattern seems to be repeating so I'm thinking that it has to do with her pregnancy. Nibbles and Dahlia were just fine and didn't seem cold at all. We put up some tarps around the goat house to give them more protection from the wind which seemed to come from a strange direction. Later in the day Debbie seemed to be just fine.

The weather guy is just now saying we've got another cold day on Saturday and another really cold night. Looks like Saturday will be more of the same. Everyone will be inside - including me. I've got sloth and can hardly move off this couch.

Happy Saturday everyone! Are you keeping warm?

Mean Roo Stew

2012-01-10T06:30:00.000-05:00

I make a mean roo stew....

...and by that I mean that I make a dang good stew. And I make it out of mean roos. Mean Roo Stew. At least thats what my pal "J" calls it.

We've spent the last couple days "inviting" most of our extra roosters to dinner. Too many roos make for a bad barnyard situation. First your hens will be afraid to come in to roost at nite since the gang of thugs will be waiting for them like a bunch of hooligans outside of an all girls school. Next, its loud, annoying, and occasionally dangerous to have too many extra roosters. And last, you're feeding a bunch of laze-abouts who may or may not be made of the right stuff to justly strut in the yard.

Unless you have small kids you should have a couple roos in your hen yard. Unfortunately roosters can jump kid-eye-height, talons out, kicking and flapping. And you know how that ends. Even a good roo has a bad day so it may not be worth the risk to your kids.

A good rooster will take care of the hens and throw the kind of chicks you need. He's call the ladies in at night, show them where all the good eats are, and protect the hens from intruders. That's what makes a good rooster like this one....

... he gets a pass on 'rooster day' and stays. See how he sticks close to the girls? And he's nice and beefy. We love the Light Brahma roos for the big meaty, yields and how beautifully they dress out for dinner.

Remember that ridiculous group of ill-hatched chicks - the ones that hatched one chick at a time for a couple of weeks? They had the most interesting collection of colors and patterns you'd ever seen. Finally they were getting big enough to sort themselves out into factions and different groups. Some of the roosters are starting to emerge as leaders - and some were volunteering for our latest Rooster Day. So we had a nice collection of volunteers and we also dressed a couple of the creepy meats we got in the fall. But don't worry Ginny, your little hen is doing just fine. In fact, she is stunning.

That's Black Jack in the center - he runs a tight ship. I hated his brother but I like Black Jack just fine.

Our current rooster crew includes Black Jack, Red, Mr. Tibbles (my fancy salmon faverolle), and one of the iterations of light brahma roos from the lineage of Big Pansy. I think we are on "Nekkid Pansy" because we finally got a bare legged brahma rooster. We have another group of roosters who will be shown to the pot sometime in the next couple of weeks. Most are the young salmon faverolle roos.. except, you know... um.. not that Occupy one. He chose his own fate when he refused to come in that night.

Not too long ago we sent a salmon faverolle roo to glory in a pot of noodles. He was extremely mean - but those tend to be the most delicious ones. And for a small bird I have to say the meat yield was amazing. But the quality of the meat was what sold me. Mr. Tibbles will always have a pass but I can't wait to dress the rest of those salmon roos.

In the meantime I'm gonna cook down this pot of mean roo stew until the stock is rich and thick and the meat is tender and delicious. Should be ready soon. Now I just need to make some biscuits.

Happy Tuesday everyone! Anyone else got a mean roo who needs to go to the pot?

Breakfast and The Bubby

2012-01-09T09:39:00.000-05:00

Whatcha having for breakfast? A dry bagel? Cereal bar? Nothin'? This is what we had....

.... that's right. That's our bacon and our egg and look at all that lovely hash. The house smelled like breakfast heaven.

So we had an eventful weekend. If you're over on facebook then you know that we had a puppy-emergency. On Thursday morning our Zander woke up fussy. By Thursday afternoon he woke up from a nap and his little muzzle was swollen and it looked like he had half a golf ball in his mouth. As soon as I saw it I called the best dog dentist in 3 states and had booked an appointment for the next morning. What an ordeal!

Amid speculation that his sister, Kai, had shoved a green bean - or a Barbie shoe - up his nose, we left our Zander in the able hands of the dental vet. It turned out that he had broken all 4 of his canines and they had become infected. The swelling was from a very badly infected upper canine. After an hour of surgery on Friday he was right as rain. Saturday morning we got our pup back and everyone was happy. Well. I mean, I had a nervous breakdown but I'm recovering.

We were shocked by all of this and wanted to know what happened? How could all of his canines be broken? The vet wasn't particularly surprised at all. She said we just have a big rowdy pup - with tiny, hollow, baby teeth. Too much force exerted on too small teeth = broken teeth. The big concern - aside from the infection - was that the bad baby teeth would impair the proper development and growth of the adult teeth.

To be sure we reported the first broken tooth to our normally Good Vet who said it was no big deal. Our Good Vet said that as long as he wasn't in pain the adult teeth would push out the broken tooth. We agreed with this logic because it made sense since Zander's adult teeth would be coming in soon.

Originally I wanted to just take him to the dog dentist and really wish I would have done so. The crippling dental bill was my tax for not following my first instinct. A good lesson to always follow your gut. Had I taken the pup directly to the dentist with the first tooth she probably would have saved him from this infection. And he probably would not have needed all four canines removed. Lesson learned.

But all's well that ends well. Our "bubby"*** is back to full speed and this never even slowed him down. The big news was how big he is! He weighed in at 55 pounds on Friday. At 4 months. Wow! On the way home we stopped for a coffee and there was a woman with some kind of small "hand dog." I was gawking and she proudly said her little rat.. I mean.. dog was 4 months old. And yes, I was compelled to tell her that my dog craps bigger than her dog. Luckily she laughed.

That's the story here. We are going to try and get back to normal. Such as it is.

Happy Monday everyone! Any one else have a nervous breakdown over the weekend?

***Why "bubby?" Well, everyone around here has a nickname. We called Kai "Curly" or "Wiggles" and we randomly started calling Zander "Bub" as in " Hey Bub! Whatcha doing?" So now he's The Bubby. Who knows where I get this stuff.

Winter eggs

2012-01-06T06:30:00.000-05:00

No lights, I put them all to bed at dusk, and no special layer mix.... and look! An arm full of eggs!

The ladies are still workin' even in the dead of January.

Happy Friday everyone! Anyone want a fried egg sandwich?

Snow Face

2012-01-04T11:55:00.000-05:00

We finally had our first "real" snow. Zander loved it.

Snow face.

Happy Wednesday!

Smoked Duck Rolls & 12 Spice Sticky Finger Ribs

2012-01-03T06:30:00.000-05:00

Dinner last nite was so good I couldn't even take a good picture. May I present.... Smoked Duck Egg Rolls and 12 Spice Sticky Finger Ribs.

I mean to tell you this one was a hit right out of the park. Wow!

Don't tell The Big Man, but it is a fact that I have not-so-secretly been in love with a man named Tom Douglas for many years. Tom won't remember me but I shook his hand once and he made me laugh. And his restaurants have been the backdrop of several of my life's key events. Including the very last meal I had as a resident of a city which I used to love... I had octopus hash for breakfast. Yes, breakfast. Octopus. I'm not even kidding. It changed my life.

But his books! My goodness his cookbooks are extraordinary. One of my favorites is Tom's Big Dinners. This beautiful book is where I learned how to make Sticky Finger Ribs. I even ordered his special Chinese 12 Spice Rub with Love... five spices just aren't enough for this chef and that is for sure.

The fact is that you can't get Chinese five spice mix in an Amish town... and buying the ingredients separately was extremely expensive.. so I had to order from Amazon.com. Throw in a few more 'must have's' and I got free shipping (yipee!). I originally wanted the five spice to make a specific roast duck... but when I saw the 12 Spice Rub with Love... I was drawn back to my not-so-secret love. So I made the ribs.

You remember that I made smoked duck egg rolls awhile ago here... I used Tom's recipe for sweet chili sauce (in the book he uses it for his Crispy Shrimp Rolls). The ribs were a snap. Just rub on the rub, let sit in the fridge for several hours, bake in the oven for about an hour, then finish under a broiler with a stunning glaze. Then I made a quick fried rice. Easy peasy.

The best part about our dinner was that it was fun, easy, and many of the ingredients came from our yard. I smoked the duck a while ago and had it waiting for me in the freezer. And the ribs were from our recent hog harvest. I used a package of our small "baby back" ribs - I'm not even sure if that's what they are really called... we just ended up with some smallish ribs while we were doing the cutting and packaged them as such. They were perfect.

The prep was easy but there were a several steps. But making egg rolls is fun tho, so it doesn't seem like work. And I was happy to use some chicken fat for the stir frying and some tallow I rendered myself for frying the egg rolls. All the ribs really needed was for me not to burn them. The sauces came together in a couple minutes.

When we were done - we were done. I mean to tell you there are not a lot of leftovers and both of us are full and happy.

Who says you can't get good Pac-Rim Fusion Asian style food in an Amish town... for heavens sakes just go ordered up some ingredients and make it yourself.

And Tom, if you ever read this, thank you for everything. Really. It made a difference.

Happy Tuesday everyone! Now run right out and order one or both cookbooks and some Rub with Love - you'll fall in love too.

Go watch the house

2012-01-02T06:30:00.000-05:00

The first thing I did after we bought this property was to tell Dog#1 to "Go Watch the House." So he did.

He went out on the deck, sat there, and commenced to Watch The House. Titan didn't just meander out and flop down - he intentionally marched out there, took up a strategic vantage point, and watched. Good dog.

The other day Kai and Zander were goofing around inside a little too vigorously. So I told them to "Go Watch the House." So they did.

Zander was a little nervous at first, and the weight of the responsibility seemed a little much for such a young pup to bear. But then he sat a little straighter, held his head a little higher...and watched the house. Good dogs.

I think they are watching the goings on in the barnyard. But Kai takes this very seriously. She's not just laying at repose... this is her guarding stance for the house. She always sits in the same way in the same place. No fooling around. Since we got Zander she's taken on a new role. She's not so much the goofy puppy she was just a few short months ago.

Bringing Zander into the pack has really given her a push into a different position - with other jobs. She's been helping me round up the chickens at night and I've even sent her outside to "go bark at something" - which is normally Titan's job. She's also spending a lot of time with Zander - to wear him out - and mostly to teach him how to behave.

Even tho we give our big dogs a "reverse time out" so they can get some peace from the pup all of the dogs still spend a lot of time together. Aside from being cute and getting lots of rest, Zander's most important job right now is to figure out how to be with other dogs. All of the dogs will learn to work together as a unit - and also separately as individuals.

Now that the bad weather is on us and there is a lot less time to be outside, so we are working with the dogs to learn more difficult commands. And they are learning to accept commands as individuals in the middle of a group. This gives them a lot of mental stimulation - and keeps our tight ship running smoothly.

For instance today we played fetch with two balls. Lucky got to fetch the ball assigned to him and Titan got to fetch the other ball. Kai and Zander don't understand the fetch thing - but they like to run with everyone. This actually helps the learning process. Ti has to focus on us to see when he gets to fetch - even tho The World's Most Annoying Little Sister is bouncing all around and Zander is trying to bite his tail.

And then within all this activity the dogs are sorting out their pack order. Sure Kai can run with Ti to get the ball, but she can't grab it or get in his way too much. If she does, Ti puts her in her place. She has to respect the order of the pack. And no one, and I mean no one, ever jumps up on us to get a ball. Even little Zander has learned that good dogs sit and then they get toys (or food or loves). Zander likes to carry around his own ball and show the other dogs. But he's also started to bring it for me to throw for him...when he isn't rolling it down the hill to chase.

When we are done playing fetch we all go and get a drink and the dogs have to give up the toys and head inside. As we are walking in they look to me for their assignments, "Ti, you can stay out", "Kai and Zander go up on the deck," "Lucky come in the house." I do this by looking at each dog, saying the command, and pointing for them where they should go.

Zander has really learned this well. At first he'd just take off running. But after I stomped after him and carried him back like a sack of potatoes a couple times.. well.. he figured out just to pay attention and learn the commands. He's also learning to look at me for direction. This is great - I'm already working with him to learn hand signals and not just vocal commands.

We are also working on individual commands in the house. I'll instruct which dog or dogs may come out of the gated dog area and into the living room or the kitchen. This way I'm not trampled by a herd of dogs....and they respect that we "own" the house.

Learning to function both as a group and also independently is really important. This enforces that we are the boss of them, refines their discipline, and also helps me get my work done. "Lucky go and scoot that chicken in, Kai stay here with me."

Good dogs.

Happy Monday everyone! Did you all survive New Year's eve?

Happy New Year! With bacon.. of course

2011-12-31T11:55:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year everyone! Behold.... the bacon....

Technically this is a smoked pancetta... such as it is. Last nite I smoked the bacon that I started curing back here. It was magnificent. I used the instructions from Ruhlmans book and also followed along with my friend David the Gastronomic Gardener and voila - bacon! Don't think you can make bacon? Yes you can!

I don't have pix of the smoking mostly because I got started after it got dark. How hard is it to smoke your own bacon? Not at all. The hardest part is making the fire. I tell you the truth I cannot start a charcoal fire with a bag of Kingsford and a gallon of lighter fluid. Don't ask me how I know this. So I gave up on that malarkey and started the fire how my people have been doing it since the elder days. With wood. Easy peasy.

I come from a long and glorious line of pyromaniacs so while I couldn't get the charcoal even if the main development guy from Kingsford was holding my hand... I got a decent fire started with wet kindling and a single match. I let the fire burn down to coals while we did chores. Then I tossed on some mesquite chips, some trimmings from the pear tree, and some kinda other hardwood we had laying around... and commenced to smokin'.

Pretty much the smoking part involved me sitting on the couch and watching a movie. From time to time I got up and added more wood chips and trimmings to keep the smoke and the fire barely going. After several hours (maybe four?) the internal temp of the bacon reached about 150*. Then it came out of the smoker and went into the fridge. And I went to bed.

This morning I had bacon-y goodness and a stellar cup of coffee. I'll be slicing up the bacon - and keeping some of it in chunks for cooking - and then putting it into the freezer. How easy was that?

I've got some other pieces curing in the fridge downstairs and one pancetta hanging in the basement. Next week I'll try smoking it during the day so you can all see. In the meantime, see ya next year!

Happy New Year everyone!

Winners and Losers

2011-12-29T06:30:00.001-05:00

As we close down 2011 I've been thinking about the projects that worked....and the things that didn't. It helps me do better planning when I have a clear vision of the winners and losers. You can read about projects that made a difference in years past, here and also here.

The chickens are always winners...That's little Neo with Red, our roo

The big winners this year are....

1. The pigs. Wow. You can't imagine the quality and quantity of our harvest. Not only that, we had a great set up this year. And we had them on such great pasture that our feed costs were really low. Especially since we had Sunny providing all that milk for most of the summer.

2. Sunny. That was one ugly goat but man.. she ruled. Not only did she do great with our goats and their babies.. but holy cow she could milk. Sunny really put it in the bucket and we were so grateful we had her on loan. Unfortunately her herdmaster moved away and so did his herd - so we won't be getting her again.

3. Fencing. We were able to complete our "all sides" fencing project and it really made a difference. It helped keep the pigs in, it kept the predators out (no losses), and we were able to let the dogs run loose to patrol...which also kept the predators out.

4. Making our own laundry soap. This deserves its own post.. but I gotta tell ya, this is our most cost-saving project to date. Thank to my friend SD for teaching me how to save about a million bucks!

5. Trenching. This project made the most sense for our house improvement and it totally worked. Unfortunately the weather was against us and the last really dry period we had was when we did the trenching. So we still have more work to do.

Which brings us to the losers....

1. The weather. I didn't just imagine it, 2011 was actually the rainiest year on record for Ohio. We passed the record mark last week. Wow what a rain. The animals suffered, we suffered, the garden was not great....and oh the mud. The good news is that it allowed us to work on projects like the fencing. The bad news was that it totally sucked.

2. Trying to move Nibbles and Dahlia into a new yard down by the pond. They hated it. We hated it. All the goats did was stand there and scream. The good news was that the fencing we did for the goats ended up being prefect for the pigz... so we just turned the pigz out into that new yard when then had "hogged down" their existing yard. The bad news was that Nibbles screamed all day, every day that she was down there. I'm not sure the pigz minded but it drove me nuts.

3. Keeping Dahlia. I had a Scarlett O'hara moment this summer and determined that I would never, ever keep another doeling. Her momma, Debbie, refused to wean her so I spent a lot of this summer trying to keep them separated. And to be honest, I don't love Dahlia. However, I think she is bred and she is sure to be a prize milker. So she stays. For now. The good news is that she most likely will milk like a demon. The bad news is that if she doesn't she'll be staked out by the road with a "free to a bad home" sign.

4. The stupid green bean bugs that wiped out most of my hill o' beans. Stupid fuzzy buggers.... I was able to get most of the beans but several rows were completely demolished. The good news was that I ended up with a pretty good story - thanks to FJ for egging me on. The bad news was.... I lost a lot of beans. But we were able to buy replacements from an Amish neighbor at a great price.

5. Too Short. I just ain't goat pimpin' again. No way. That reminds me, one of these days I gotta tell you about gettin' rid of that guy.

So that's the wrap up. We are starting to plan for next year and most likely it will involve even more fencing, better turkey management, more effective gardening, more dinner chicks, and selling the goat babies as soon as they are ready. And yes of course there will be more pigz. Speaking of... I think I need to get me a slice of ham.

Happy Thursday everyone!

Dog sloth

2011-12-28T06:30:00.000-05:00

Our number one dog, Titan, has been hanging out in the living room. He's had enough of the puppy shenanigans so he got a reverse time out and some peace and quiet.

I love this picture of Titan snuggling with Wolfie the dog toy.

We also want to reinforce Dog#1's status as the number one dog. We do this by giving him special privileges - like spending extra time and being close to us. Remember there is no "fair" in the dog world - only the hierarchy that they need and understand. Dog1 is dog number one and there is no further discussion. This helps organize and manage our "pack."

Titan really likes to sleep on a dog bed. Kai The Destroyer systematically disemboweled all of the dog beds so we put a new bed in the living room for Ti and let him sleep there. The rest of the no-good-nicks are sleeping on easy-to-wash blankets. Or in ridiculous ways.....

Zander and Lucky tend to sprawl all over the floor.

We've been trying to make sure that the pup gets plenty of rest. But sometimes he's like a little kid who plays so much he gets over tired. Then he sleeps so hard he wakes up and is still delirious. Its very cute.

At this writing Titan is sleeping at my feet and is chasing something in his sleep. It doesn't matter how big they get, sleep-running dogs are the best. I hope he catches whatever he's chasing. Shh.. I don't want to wake him up.

Happy Wednesday everyone! Are you all enjoying your week off?

Oh my sweet buns!

2011-12-27T06:30:00.000-05:00

*OFG rethinks punctuation....* I mean......Oh my! Sweet buns!

Would you get a load of these sweet rolls? Are you licking your screen? Yeah.. they are as good as they look. I made these cinnamon rolls on Christmas Eve. They are terrific.

Unfortunately, I can't give you the recipe. Can you believe it? Here's the problem. The recipe is my mom's secret recipe and she refused to give it to anyone except us kids. After she died the extended family tried to get us to give out the secret. And we didn't. Actually my sister didn't and I was threatened with real death if I uttered a peep about it (maybe they should have asked me first). So I can only show you these luscious treats.

However, if anyone has an older version of The Joy of Cooking you can probably find a similar recipe there. And if you wanted to check here this recipe is kinda close. And Ree's process here gives a good step by step. Aside from that I can say no more.

Except that I made a caramel glaze for the bottom. And I used our leaf lard instead of any kind of shortening or butter for the dough. And I used a big handful of pecans. And my two favorite farm boys in the whole world mixed up the cinnamon-sugar for the filling. Now I say now more.

Other than... you can probably guess what I've been having for breakfast all week. That and birthday cake.

Thanks to everyone for their fun birthday wishes yesterday! I did have a bacon filled, meat-tastic day!

Happy Tuesday everyone! Now remember, I told you nothing about how to make these rolls, right?

The accessability of bacon: An Interview with The Gastronomic Gardener

2011-12-24T09:16:00.000-05:00

Happy Christmas everyone!

I was trying to think what I could give everyone for Christmas, what would be the best present?... And then, of course, I thought, "Bacon!" But instead of handing out bags of meat I thought it would be more useful to give everyone some encouragement about 'how to' make your own bacon. Something along the lines of, "Give a guy a pork belly, you'll feed him for breakfast. But teach a guy the know-how, he'll eat well all his life."

Don't think you can do it? Sure you can! You've heard from me how easy it is to make your own food so I thought I'd introduce you to a regular guy who's great at makin' bacon. My friend David over at the Gastronomic Gardener is a regular guy who is making and serving up some tasty home cured meats, including bacon. I asked David for his take on the fine art of charcuterie and he's got some great info to share.

OFG: So, David from The Gastronomic Gardener, you're a regular guy living in the suburbs and you make your own bacon. What gives? Isn't bacon an industrial process? Or don't you need to be on a farm?

Hi OFG, yes, I am a suburbanite, with a full time corporate job, and

I make my own bacon. By make, I mean cure and smoke. Some day I hope to grow my own hogs as you do OFG, but until then, I’ll do what I can to "practice."

Most folks go and pick up bacon at the store, and while there is nothing wrong with that, I find it immensely satisfying to be involved with my food production to the greatest extent that I am able. Just as I take pleasure and pride in the first ripe tomato in the garden, or opening a jar of pickles in the dead of winter from cucumbers I grew and canned, I am glad to take as much responsibility as possible in what I eat or feed my family.

The best friend to make if you want to make your own bacon is your local butcher. They are super helpful and you should see how excited they get when they find out you’re making your own bacon! While I go to a specific butcher shop, most supermarkets will be able to get you pork belly – the prime ingredient for making bacon. You may have to special order it, but they can get it. Other than the pork belly – you’ll need some curing salt - or sodium nitrite, (aka pink salt). Your butcher should have this as well, if not I’ve found it at the outdoor sporting good stores near the jerky and sausage making supplies. The rest of the things are common in the kitchen – large zip-close bags, kosher salt, sugar, garlic, peppercorns. Nothing extraordinary or mystical. It’s surprising to me how accessible making your own bacon really is. You don’t need a smoker but it does add an extra flavor element to the bacon that I really love.

OFG: What experience did you have before you first made your own bacon? And what inspired you?

I like to eat consider myself pretty handy in the kitchen and always enjoy new things, so I suppose I don’t intimidate easily in that regard. However, making you own bacon is so simple. If you can make a box cake mix, you can do this. I’ve been making fresh sausages for a couple years now – bratwurst, merguez, kielbasa and in my search for more information I can across Ruhlman and Polcyn’s book Charcuterie. It’s such a wealth of information, the recipes and how-tos – especially in the beginning of the book make it all very do-able.

OFG: Aside from the logistics, what did you learn about about "making your own food"?

The quality of almost anything you make at home is far superior to the product you can purchase at the big box store. When you are making your own, you know you and your loved ones will be eating it. If you think for a moment the few major food producers have much more than profit on their mind, then I think you are deluding yourself.

And the proof is in the pan. Home cured bacon doesn’t shrink nearly as much as mass produced bacon. And the flavor? There is no comparison!

OFG: What does your family/friends think?

They love it! Being the first one up and starting the coffee and the bacon sizzling in the skillet, they don’t need an alarm clock, they get up pretty quickly! Seriously though, I’ve given the gift of bacon to a few people and even given some away for a small "donation." One guy ate three lbs between Friday and Sunday. When he got back to work on Monday – he said "No matter how much I beg and plead, please don’t bring me any more!" That’s pretty strong testimony! I always tell them how easy it is to make and offer to walk them through it. That offer stands.

OFG: What is your best advice for someone who is hesitant to do this?

First don’t be afraid. Go talk to your local butcher and find the availability and price of skin on pork belly. If it is within your means, pick up some pink salt, and give it a try. You will not be sorry, and if you are like me, you may never buy prepackaged bacon again!

Thanks, David, all great info and wow! The tutorials you have on your blog are fantastic. I'm sending a friend of mine right over to check it out.

So, what do you think, folks? Are you ready to jump in with both feet? If you're ready to try making your own bacon-y goodness at home I hope you'll get some confidence, and know how, from David and give it a try. Most of the free world is off work next week, so if you are a bacon lover and are home, why not call up your butcher and ask for a pork belly... then get to makin' bacon at home. Your friends and family will love you for it - its the gift that keeps on giving!

Happy Christmas everyone!

Part Four. The Battle

2011-12-22T09:58:00.002-05:00

The scene: On the high hill overlooking the valley

Light snow fell on a brilliant morning.OFG's battle line stretched wide on the high hill. The war engineswere being rolled into place as the archers were being moved intoposition. Col Ti avoided her hard eyes and stood just behind OFG, ather side.

He had received a brutal dressing downfor his part in the fight with her guest the previous night. Many ofhis men had been sent to the brig for the brawl, including Lucky whoturned out to be the worst of the lot. Lucky's conduct had been sounbecoming that he would be confined for several weeks. Col Ti wincedat the embarrassment he'd caused his liege, but smiled quietly tohimself thinking of a few blows he'd justly delivered to Bourbon ofthe Red.

“How's that jaw, Colonel?” AskedOFG flatly

Col Ti cleared his throat and stoodtaller to attention wondering how she knew what he was thinking.“Fine, Sir.”

The field was rippling with activity.Messengers rode from all directions providing updates and deliveringorders. The enemy could be heard moving in the distance. Severalcohorts had been sent to flush out the enemy from deep within theforest.

Bourbon of the Red and his men were information on the right flank in the lower ground. The giant warriorwore the head of a massive pig as his war helmet and a huge red hoghide as his cloak. The tusks and knuckle bones of many defeated pigzhung around his neck. In Bourbon's hand was his Schweinehammer. Thelike had not been seen in the land in a hundred generations. He alonecould wield it, such was the size of the war hammer. The staff of themuch feared Schweinehammer was as tall as Bourbon and the stoneattached to it weighed as much as a calf. He had been known tounhorse a man with a single blow. On his belt he wore a dagger ofunexpected beauty which belied its awful deeds.

Some of Bourbon's men were still drunkfrom the night before. This intensified their howling rage as theywhipped themselves up into their battle frenzy. Their war criespierced the morning and ran shivers down the spines of some of theyounger war hens. Bourbon's men were said to be the most courageousin the known world and would not break formation under pain of death.

Col Ti bellowed orders and moved thewar hens into position. OFG gave an encouraging nod to the youngspeckled hen who replaced old Franhilde as her standard bearer. YoungGinny had never seen battle and was awestruck by the great spectacle.“Stay with me,” OFG told the young hen assuredly, “and keep thestandard raised. At all costs.” Ginny nodded nervously but set herjaw. She would not fail. Overhead a pair of hawks screamed into thewind.

“Col Ti,” Commanded OFG, her bloodhot, “It is time. Cry havoc and let slip the hens of war!”

At his signal the drums began thecadence which was taken up by the war hens all beating their swordsagainst their shields. The sound was deafening and it filled thegreat valley. Bourbon of the Red strode forward swinging his mightySchweinehammer and calling the pigz to battle. Col Ti raced up anddown the battle line and howled his terrible war cry, rallying thewar hens.

The great beasts screamed their mightyretort and thundered toward the battle line. The ground and treesshook as the pigz hurled themselves forward. The fearsome pigzcharged out of the underbrush, wild with fear and dread andbloodlust. The battle was about to be joined.

Suddenly a massive black horse sailedover the battle lines darkening the sky and landed just in front ofOFG. She immediately recognized the mysterious horse and rider whoseemed to appear out of nowhere. OFG turned to shout, “Hold theline! Hold the line! Keep your positions! Col Ti! Hold those men!”

The rider slipped silently from thesaddle. He boldly stepped toward the charging pigz, first at a steadywalk as he judged the distance, then faster running to meet his foe,soon the big man raced forward, drew forth his bow, and the mightyassassin smote the first beast with a single shot. The great pigtumbled into a heap. Stunned, the war hens behind him gasped, thenthe air was full of the loud victory cheer, “Huz-zah!”

To the beat of the war hen's swords onshields the big man continued his charge. The second pig lowered hishead, screamed his rage, and met the challenge. OFG could barelybreath as she watched the two large figures race toward each other.The big man ran, seemingly unaware of the huge pig's horribleferocity, and without great effort he thusly felled that pig also.The pig bellowed one last bloodcurdling scream and then lay still.

The big man turned and faced OFG. Andthere he stood as the war hens rushed forward. Bourbon and his mencharged also and made sure that each pig got hence to its miserabledeath.

In the ensuing chaos and jubilantcheers of victory the big man walked slowly toward OFG. He slung hisbow over his shoulder as he crossed the battle grounds. Standingbefore her he took her face in his hands, pressed his forehead tohers, and then walked away without saying a word. She watched himtake the reins from his companion, mount the large black horse, andhe disappeared back into the great forest like an apparition. Hisdark companion trotted behind him. And then they were gone.

OFG was aware of pounding footsteps andlooked up to see Princess Kai and Zander rounding the bend at greatspeed. They had been leading the right flank in the woods behind thepigz. Kai tried to push past OFG, looking around wildly. “Was hehere?” Kai desperately cried. “My father, was he here? Where ishe?”

“He's gone, Kai.” OFG gesturedtoward the forest. “He's gone. You know it has to be this way.” Explained OFG holding the young princess by the shoulders. Kai shookloose and took a few steps toward the forest but knew it was toolate. She had searched the countryside before for the big man. Hecould not be found nor tracked by any means.

“But,” Kai started to say asuseless tears started to fall on her shining battle armor, “...henever even....” And then she wept openly.

Leaving his sister to her privategrief, Zander followed OFG down to the battlefield. Whatever warmthhad been in her eyes while the big man was there was now gone. Sheyelled orders and directed the troops as she made her way down thehillside. In the cold morning the smoke from the blood soaked groundrose hazily.

Bourbon of the Red was standingvictoriously over the carcass of one of the slain beasts. A great“huzzah” rang out when he ran his dagger down the belly of one ofthe pigz, reached into the great maw, and pulled out the heart of theevil brute. He held it aloft for all to see, all the while singing agreat victory song in his native language.

About them the ducks and hens hadstarted the process of hauling the carcasses up the hill to the GreatHall. Huge carts of bloodwine were being brought down to thebattlefield for the victorious warriors as the work parties preparedfor the great harvest at the top of the hill. Bourbon's men hadreleased the horrible heads from the pig carcasses and had hoistedthem onto great pikes as a sign of victory.

The young dark prince sat quietlylooking up at the gruesome sightless eyes. All around him was theactivity of triumph. The great carts were loaded and the war hens hadtaken up the ropes, straining to pull the spoils of war up the hill.Behind him Zander could hear Col Ti barking orders and the creakingof the wheels as the carts started to lurch forward.

The pup sat, still carefully studyingthe pigz heads. The ghastly eyes still held the terror of theirdefeat and blood dripped in pools at the base of the posts on whichthey were mounted. Zander took this all in. “Soon,” He thought tohimself, “Soon this victory will be mine.”

In the distance he heard his mothercalling to him, “Zan-der.... Zaaaaan-der.....”

He turned to go, then looked back oncemore at the pig trophies, threw back his head and for the first timehowled his war cry.

Note: Available here Part One, Part Two, and Part Three of our story.

Bacon's here....

2011-12-19T15:04:00.002-05:00

I'm sorry but I can't talk to any of you right now.... the bacon is here. I'm sitting in my kitchen surrounded by 90 pounds of bacon and ham just back from being smoked and cured at the butcher.

Hello Hams!

Best. Day. Ever.

I think I'm on my 3rd "BLT"... Its a miracle that I even have lettuce in the house. Lately I've been on my own "modified Adkins" (meat, coffee, and donuts). But I figured I needed to have some kind of vegetative matter so at the store the other day I grabbed an overpriced head of lettuce and swore I'd grow my own from now on.

This ham slab didn't even fit in my biggest skillet.

At least I didn't buy a store tomato, I just popped open one of my home canned pints of thick 'mater sauce. A schmear of "T" on one side, an unholy amount of Miracle Whip on the other, an obligatory lettuce leaf....and all the bacony goodness that piece of bread can handle.

Me home alone... with all this bacon....

Carry on without me friends, I think I have room for BLT#4.

Happy Monday everyone!

Part Three: The Eve of Battle

2011-12-18T09:49:00.000-05:00

The scene: The Great Hall in OFG'slands, just after dusk the eve before battle

The full moon rose against a pale skycasting great shadows across the countryside. The revelry within TheGreat Hall could be heard for miles in all directions. Candles litthe Hall and all who entered were stunned at the sight of the headsof many pigz past. The gruesome heads hung as trophies on the walls.The ghastly figures grew more fierce as the night darkened and thedrinking increased. Many barrels of bloodwine had been brought fromthe store houses. The war hens caroused loudly in a scene ofunbridled celebration.

The entire company was there, sittingaround great tables filled with a feast of unparallelled glory. Young ducks carried trays heavy laden with all manner of delicaciesand brought wave after wave of feast foods. The jubilation was loudand ruckus and in the air hung the feeling that this would be a nightof nights.

But all were silenced when thetroubadour, known as Little Mo, stood up and stuck his harp. He sangsuch sweet and dulcet tones that not even the most hardened battlegoose could help but shed a tear. Little Mo sang a song of long agowhen the world was good and the larders were full of pork, so muchpork. "...Oh bacon, love of my life... I whilst love thoualways...." There was not a dry eye in the Hall when Little Mofinished his song and sat down, suddenly ashamed of the attention. The merry making was struck up when the geese took up a bawdydrinking song and the revelry rang loud into the night once again.

OFG walked quietly among her subjectsin a plain battle cloak pulled over her head to disguise heridentity. She made her way to a table in the shadowy light at theback of the Great Hall.

Bourbon of the Red and Col Ti satacross a bloodwine stained table dimly lit in the gloom. Each wasflanked by their most trusted men at arms. The adversaries staredvilely at each other, the hatred was palatable between them.

“So, friend,” Said Col Ti, butthere was no mistaking he thought the huge man was not 'friend' atall. “Tell me. Why have you come?”

“To join the battle, of course.”Replied Bourbon as casually as he could...almost dismissively.

Col Ti reached, a little too quickly,for the bottle of bloodwine set between them. Several of Bourbon'smen at arms reached for their swords. Col Ti's men responded in kind,the sharp sound of metal being released rang clear.

“Stay,” Said Bourbon to his men ina low voice, “Come now, Ti. Enough of this old business. Let usdrink to the death of pigz and a victory on the morrow!” He pouredthe wine and lifted his drinking tankard. “Gentle men all, let usdrink.” The men at arms on both sides shifted uneasily but kepttheir guard.

The great warrior downed the tankard inone long draw and smiled wolfishly at Col Ti. Eventually Bourbon'scalm manner set the others to ease but Col Ti kept a wary eye on thegiant man. OFG watched this all from a distance. Even in her landsshe knew better than to come between men with unfinished businessbetween them. Hoping they would not cause a disturbance OFG fadedinto the shadows and passed from their hearing. Just to be sure sheasked the young hen following her, an attache named Doolittle, tokeep an eye on the goings on and report immediately if thingschanged.

On the other side of the room a youngPrincess Kai, regaled in her finest tiara and dress armor, stoodlooking out a window into the night. OFG approached her gently andasked, “What are you watching for, Kai?”

Kai did not look away from thedarkness, but softly replied, “My father.”

Meanwhile, in the darkest part of thedeepest forest a man sat near a smokeless fire warming himselfagainst the bitter cold. He was a large brooding man with dark eyeswho was silent more than he spoke. The big man rode a giant blackhorse with no name. The man was well armed with a bow of the finestdesign and a sword which dazzled all who were felled by it. He was awanderer, a man without people or country or fidelity. A loner savefor his companion who never spoke.

The man looked across the fire. Hiscompanion was one of swarthy discontent. Some say he was mad. Otherthought him possessed by demons. Many called him Gato Diablo and hewas shunned by all save the man to whom he was bound to by bloodoath.

The story tellers say that Gato Diablowas once trapped on a high cliff after a bad fall. For days hewrithed alone until thirst and heat and pain drove him to makepromises to bitter gods. Just then the man happened to pass by andfound Gato Diablo. Gato Diablo was saved from death but he did notlive. He now begrudgingly followed the man and cursed his desperateoaths. The two had since warred side by side, each taking out hisown torments on those who would cross them.

The man wondered what thoughts hiscompanion had but knew they would never be known. He returned tosmoking his pipe and looking into the small fire. Behind them theenormous war horse snorted contentedly.

Back in the Great Hall the festivitieswere interrupted by angry shouts of men and the sound of a massivetable being overturned. The young hen ran up with her report toOFG... who could already see that Col Ti and Bourbon of the Red weretrading blows.

Note: Available here....Part One and Part Two of story.

The cure for bacon

2011-12-16T06:30:00.000-05:00

Of course there is no cure for love of bacon... so you just gotta give into the bacon obsession and make your own. Make your own bacon? Sure, yes you can!

First, did you run right out and get Ruhlman's book? His instructions are easy peasy and even if you don't have a great smoking set up like my pal, The Gastronomic Gardener, you can still make bacon. And even if you don't raise your own hogs you can get fresh pork bellies online or from a local butcher. Then all you need is a few simple ingredients. One of the things you need is "pink salt." I found some at The Sausage Maker under the name as "Insta Cure." Everything else you can find at the grocery store.

The first step is to cure the fresh meat. You'll need a salt and sugar "cure" to cure the meat. Got it? Just make up a batch of Ruhlman's basic cure, rub it all over the meat, then seal it up in a bag or a non-reactive container, and refrigerate.

I used big gallon bags for the plain bacon, the black pepper bacon, and also my small experiment of rosemary and black pepper. The big piece of maple bacon is curing in a smallish dish tub I found at the Dollar Store (yes, it was one dollar). Every other day I'll turn the pieces of pork over so it cures evenly. After seven days I'll check and see if its ready to smoke. How fun is that?

I also started two pieces of pancetta and also two small jars of salt pork. The pancetta has different ratios of salt, sugar, and spices. The salt pork is just the basic cure and has slightly different instructions.

As Meat Week winds down I also started two more batches of lard. I tried cutting theses pieces instead of grinding them - we'll see how it goes. We had a shorter day on Thursday because we took the pup, Zander, to the vet for his rabies shot. We were wow'd to find out that our little baby is 44 pounds! The vet had to check the records twice to make sure that he really is just about 14 weeks old. The vet was a little gaga that Zander is on track to be pretty darn big. Of course we were very proud of Zander and he was very good during his appointment.

While the pup did just fine, the nervous mommy came directly home and calmed her nerves by making a big plate of porkchops. Then I felt much better. Zander slept for most of the afternoon then was just fine.

Happy end of Meat Week everyone! There's still a little more work to do... but more on that and what I'm gonna do with all this lard later.

Finishing up - lard and leavings

2011-12-15T06:30:00.000-05:00

Oh Lard...lard lard lard. Lard and more lard. So much lard....

The leaf lard we got was extraordinary. This entire kettle was full of leaf fat - more than we've ever gotten before. I can't wait to bake with it. Of course, I had to render it first.

Today was all about lard and leavings. Remember that there's two kinds of fat on a hog - leaf lard which is fat surrounding the organs. Than then there is the rest of the "regular" fat that is around the outside of the hog. The leaf lard makes the most amazing baking lard for pie crusts and pastries. And the regular fat is good for everything else.

I used Big Onion's grind and render method and wow did I get great results with the leaf lard. The rest of the fat did OK. However I ended up with a kind of weird blob of fat-leavings. When I cut up the lard I got pieces. The pieces are good for us because they are easier to feed to the chickens. The best thing about having lard - besides having lard - is the leavings to feed to the poultry. Talk about a great source of protein and calories! Mix with some cracked corn or scratch and the hennies will eat it up.

My biggest stock pot was full of bones-n-stuff.

The next thing I worked on was the leavings for the dogs. I trimmed the bones and such generously so I'd have more for the dogs. I cooked several really big pots of bones and such. And also the kinda gross stuff. You know.. hearts and kidneys and the like. I ended up with a rich broth - and all the meat. We have some very happy dogs.

Dog snacks went into jars

And finally I worked on pate. I love pate..oh liver.. I love you in the wurst way...

Liver pate was spooned into jars

If you don't have it, run right out and get a copy of Ruhlman's Charcuterie... he's got some great stuff in there. I loosely used his recipe for pate. Mixed it all up, and cooked it in a hot water bath - in pint jars. I'll put them in the freezer and anytime I want a little lovely liver, I'll have it by the pint.

I still haven't gotten to curing the bacons - so that's on the agenda for Thursday. Whew! This has been a ton of work but its also been a lot of fun. Of course, it was kind of a weird day for anyone to call me. Most folks know better to ask me what I'm doing - some of the answers are met with long awkward pauses. Or sudden hang ups. Today the answers to "whatcha doin" were:

1. Cutting up pigz hearts and stuffing them in jars of blood broth

2. Stirring a big vat of fat

But even that didn't scare someone off the phone. So I started telling them that about the soon-to-be liver pate that was seasoning in the fridge. And how The Big Man thought it was a bowl of cranberry sauce. You can imagine how that went. (He just covered it back up and put it back in the fridge - at this point he knows better.)

Happy Thursday everyone! Go meat!

Grinding Day

2011-12-14T06:30:00.000-05:00

We're sloggin' thru the Meat-a-palooza 2011....Day Four grinds on...

Actually Tuesday really was grinding day. We lost our cold weather so we had to hop-to and get everything out of the meat locker, aka the garage. Even tho it got warmer today it was still below 40* in the garage. But we weren't taking any chances so we got everything packaged up or put in the coldest fridge we have.

As a I was trimming the meat I put the extra or weird pieces into two piles - either "to be ground" or "to be cut up for stew meat." The "stew meat," which is really for stir fry and the like, was the odd ends that were a little better quality - more meaty and tender. The "to be ground" pile was the tougher cuts and anything that was more marbled and fatty. We'll use this ground meat for making "taco meat," burgers, sausage, and as a base for our bolognese sauce.

The ground meat was put into 1 pound portions and stuffed into appropriately marked freezer bags. The "stew meat" was cut up into 1 inch chunks and also portioned out.

And then. The lard. I took Big Onion's challenge (just kiddin!) from his comments the other day and decided I would not be foiled by melty fat. So I marched out to the meat locker.. I mean...the garage and got my almost full 5 gallon bucket of cut up fat and prepared for glory.

Normally we just cut the fat into small pieces and then render it. We tried to grind it one year and it didn't work at all. But guess what? It worked! Well... the grinding part worked. I'm still working on cooking it down. We'll see how it turns out tomorrow. Thanks Big Onion for the tip (see comments) to get me to reconsider grinding fat for rendering lard!

Speaking of the Big Onion....he asked about the last "cutting chore" and did I do it? Well. I did it. It took some chest beating, some dancing around the fire, and me and The Big Man punching each other in the arm and "double dog daring" each other to get out there. We finally marched out there to make the final cuts for.... "guanciale" as my pal the Gastronomic Gardener calls it. But around here we just call it hog jowl. That's right. I cut off the pigz faces. Actually just the cheeks.

We intentionally didn't take any happy snaps of this big event so there is no pictorial evidence.. I mean.. step by step guide. Mostly because we were laughing so hard at the stupid jokes. So many jokes. After a small oogly-boogly moment it was over. We had the jowls and then bagged up Smiley and Head Cheese for the garbage guys. Dang, the garbage guys hate coming to our house. Its like no one but us puts badly butchered pig heads out for them to collect.

Speaking of pigz heads...so a couple answers to questions that I know you are all asking yourselves.

1. Do we make head cheese? Nope.
2. Aside from the jowls do we use anything else from the heads? Nope.
3. Did we ever find the missing pig heads from last year? I ain't sayin'.

That's the report for today on this Week of Meat. I'll be working on rendering lard, making pate, and starting to cure all the bacon odds and ends tomorrow. And making sure the garbage guys actually take the pig heads. And other stuff. Oh geez, I might as well just start making a huge burn pile just in case they don't take any of it. Cowards.

Happy Wednesday everyone!

Even MORE meat! All meat! All the time!

2011-12-13T06:30:00.000-05:00

Monday is wasting away and here I am. Meat drunk. I love meat. I spent all day Monday doing the rest of the cutting. Of course I had my handy fry pan hot at all times so I ate my way thru the day. So I am meat drunk. I'm not even sorry.

Cut the center cut in half, lengthwise.

And since we just can't get enough - here's more on the meat processing.We'll call this "OFG's Lame Tutorial On How To Cut Up The Center Cut Of Pork Without Ruining It Entirely." Also known as, "this is how we do it here but do it however you'd like."

You can see from here that the center cut - a side of pork without the shoulder or ham - is a darn big piece of meat. The goal is to get it into smaller more manageable chunks.

The first step it to cut it just about in half, length-wise. You really want to cut a straight line starting just under the tenderloin so that you get the biggest ribs. Use a meat saw like this or just a good old hacksaw that you've cleaned really well and only use for butchering. One thing we learned was to go with a smaller saw. Sure they have a big one, but my pal Bourbon Red said he regretted getting it. The blade has too much flex in it. So go for the small one.

Once cut in half, the first thing you want to do is get the tenderloin out. That's the magic, baby...

Then cut the loin part (the side with the backbone) in about thirds so its more manageable. At this point you could just package up those bone-in roasts and call it a day. But we like porkchops so we keep going.

Use the meat saw for just getting thru the bones, then use a handy chef's knife to cut the rest of the way thru the meat. Easy peasy!

At this point it gets a little tricky. Use your boning knife to remove the loin from the ribs. It takes a little practice but you'll get it. See the ribs on top? And the beautiful chops encased in lovely fat?

We cut those small fry ribs from the backbone and use them for snackable bites. Delish!

But the real goal is to get to the pork chops. This years chops weren't as big as last year's. So we sliced them extra thick. I'll talk more about the differences in pigz later but for now, with as lovely as these pigz turned out we weren't devastated by smaller pork chops at all.

And see all that beautiful fat? This is the prized back fat that southern folks know and love. You can see in this picture that it actually is in layers. Its easy to use these layer lines as guides to trim the backfat from the chops - leaving a good healthy layer, of course.

Next you'll need to tackle removing the ribs from the bacons. Make sure your boning knife is extra sharp. You want your ribs to have some meat on them, but don't rob from the bacon too much! I found it easiest to peel the ribs back and cut them loose, then peel again, and cut until they were released.

Then you get to the bacon....

so much lovely bacon... Lets just take a moment and observe the bacon. Can you even believe it?

Then its just a matter of squaring up the bacons so you can ship them off to the butcher or start curing yourself. These pigz were so long in the body that we ended up with a ton of bacon and also some belly sections as well. I cut these odd shaped ones so they will be easy for me to cure and smoke myself.

And here is kinda what you end up with....this shows the pork center before I even worked on the loin side. From the top/left we've got the loin side, the ribs, the bacon, and then the weird bacon/belly pieces.

Isn't that amazing?

We took the hams and some of the bacons down to the butcher to be cured and smoked. Three fresh hams and two bacons weighed in at just over 90 pounds! The butcher even came round to see what was going on when his work crew was oogling the hams. I can't wait to get them back. Of course, we always end up butchering just as our deer hunting season ends so our butcher was swamped. We apologized for our bad planning and had a laugh about the whole thing.

Could we cure and smoke the hams and bacon here? Sure if we had to, but we really aren't set up for it. For one things, we don't have a fabulous smoking set up like my pal, the Gastronomic Gardener. Have you seen his custom smoke house? Wow! I need to get my act in gear and get something like that here.

I can smoke a few things at a time in our smoker but I'm really not really set up for full cuts just yet. I kept one of the bacons tho and then I have all those fabulous weird bacon ends and belly pieces to work on myself.

Remember that about half the cost of having a butcher cure and smoke your meats is in the cut and wrapping end of things. So we are getting only one of the hams cut-n-wrapped... the rest we are getting back whole as I can break them down myself like I did here.

Tuesday is another all meat all the time day - but I'll be working on grinding the weird cuts and strange pieces into ground meat. Easy peasy once I get my Kitchen Aid set up. Then we'll be just about done. I have one more cutting chore left tho... um.... its the ickiest part. I'm gonna need a cup of liquid courage to march out there. We'll see how it goes.

Happy Tuesday everyone! Are you learning that "yes you CAN" cut up a side of pork yourself?

Meat, meat, meat, and more meat!

2011-12-12T06:30:00.000-05:00

Meat! Glorious meat! What a day....here are some quick pix from Sunday.

The sides of the pork were huge... Technically this is just the center cut. The ham and the shoulder had already been taken off!

The shoulders alone were enormous. This is the shoulder with the hock removed and cut in half for the picnic ham and the boston butt cuts.

and check out that lovely layer of fat on the shoulder.

Which was nothing compared to the back fat! Can you believe it?

And then there was the bacon. For heavens sakes, we did win the lottery!

Our reference for doing these cuts is here. And also this guy really seems to have good info. I think he put more of his information in his "for sale" products because last year he had a better step-by-step guide. The free video is pretty good (and funny, I like him talking over the other guy).

However, ahem.. someone I know really needs to get his act together and gimme the pix of "how to" do these cuts so I can post them for you folks. You know who you are. We only kinda know what we are doing and even tho we sometimes have a "what the heck is that?" moment, we've been happy with our results.

Folks sometimes ask me what cuts they should get when they have a butcher dressing their hog. The answer is - whatever you like. I'm not sure there is a wrong selection - its what you use. Primarily we use fresh ground pork, "stew" meat, bacon (of course), pork chops, and ham. We also really like "country style ribs" and also blade steaks. Because there is just the two of us we really don't like big roasts. So we take off the best parts for the grill and the rest of it goes for stew meat or ground for fresh pork.

What about sausage? Lean in, friend, I got a secret for you..... sausage is just seasoned meat. At any time you can make sausage - even just before cooking it. Now you know. We never want links anyway because we only use bulk sausage. So any time we need sausage we just grab one of our handy prepackaged frozen 1 pound packs of fresh pork and season it up. Voila! Easy peasy.

The only tools we used for cutting up the sides of pork were a meat saw and a couple knives. I like my good boning knife and my chef's knife (actually I have two - a bigger and a smaller one). We took up the fat and will make lard out of it later.

Can you do this yourself? Yes you can! Once you read the instructions a couple of times and look at the side of pork in front of you, it seems to make sense. And if you do monkey it up - for heavens sakes its just meat. More than likely its about how you cook it and not if its a perfectly butchered side of pork.

Monday is more meat meat meat and more meat. We still need to do the grinding and also finish up the last side. And I have to call the butcher - I hope he doesn't freak out when I tell him we're on the way with fresh hams. Our deer season just ended and I'm sure he has his hands full.

Say, if you're inspired by all this lovely pork and are in central Ohio, check out my buddy D at Spring Hill Farms. He'll bring you a box of pork all cut and ready for action. When you talk to him, tell him that OFG says "hi" and wow these porkers turned out great!

Turning pigz into pork

2011-12-11T08:17:00.001-05:00

Did everyone hear the great 'huzzah' yesterday when the evil pigz were slain? Whoot!

Here is the before....

and the after.

By the way - that huge kettle is full of leaf lard. That's what I'm talkin' about....

Today is all meat all the time - we are cutting these beautiful pork halves into manageable chunks and then getting them into the freezer. The hams will be taken to the local butcher to be cured and smoked along with one of the bacons. We'll work on the other bacons here. And we might try canning some of the meat instead of freezing it all. But I'll get to that as we go along.

We had a great time yesterday. Everything went off without a hitch and we had a wonderful time with our pal Bourbon Red and his kids ("the Poults"). The Poults were my best helpers ever and wow can they make cinnamon rolls! We loved having our friends here and were so glad they came - we could not have done this ourselves. The pigz turned out to be huge - at least 325lbs or better!

And now we have most of the meat we'll need for a year. I feel like we won the lottery. The bacon lottery....*OFG dreamily thinks of a real bacon lottery...*

All of the effort, all of the work, all of the pig-hatin' was totally worth it... and as the day went along from when we first marched down there to the moment the last half was strung up in the garage... I finally loved them pigz. Turning pigz into pork is where the real love happens.

I'll be posting a detailed post about what happened... along with Part Three of our epic tale (Part One here and Part Two here)... but for now I gotta get my meat saw and run right out there.

Happy Sunday everyone! On this Lord's day we thank God for this full harvest and having the Hand of Provision on us. Amen and amen.

Part Two: The arrival

2011-12-07T06:30:00.000-05:00

Part Two: The scene: Just inside the mighty gateat the border of OFG's lands

The caravan was just coming into sight.A mighty carriage led the baggage train that stretched for miles. Thescouts has been reporting it's progress for two days. OFG stood atthe front of the welcoming party. At long last the geese blew theiropening notes of greeting on silver trumpets. The turkeysheaved-to and opened the gate. The ground shook as the carriagerolled in and creaked to a halt in front of them. Banners flewoverhead as the welcoming company stood at attention.

The carriage door open and Bourbon ofthe Red emerged. He was an enormous man. Fair of skin and hair witheyes like the sky before thunder. He looked as if the ancientTeutonic gods of his people crafted him from the shale and ice andocean of the north. Some of OFG's welcoming party took in a sharpbreath when the man stood to his full height. He reached at least 7feet tall.

Formally he walked toward OFG andsaluted her.

“I bid you hail and most heartywelcome Bourbon of the Red!” OFG announced for all to hear. “Letit be known that this warrior is our guest and will be afforded allof the hospitality of this Good Land!”

“Good Sister and Ruler of the South!”Bourbon replied, “I bring you gifts from the North and I thank youfor your welcome.” As he finished his greeting Bourbon's personalguard pulled an enormous trunk from the carriage and brought itforth. The welcoming party murmured and whispered, knowing that thetrunk contained a most valuable treasure - an elixir as fresh andpure as the driven snow. Some of the pages jostled each other to geta better view but were silenced by a sharp look from Colonel Ti.

Formalities over, OFG stepped forwardand grasped forearms with the legendary man. They greeted each otherlike brothers in arms.

“Come!,” She beckoned “We'vestarted the Yule log and the banqueting tables are being filled.Refresh yourselves after such a long journey.”

“Yes, yes, of course, but first...show me these beasts you spoke of...show me the enemy.”

In the background the young ducks hadrushed forward to help Bourbon's pages unload the baggage train.Their knees buckled as they tried to unload his battle armor. Thecuirass alone required five young ducks to carry it into the GreatHall. Other ducks rolled great winches and pulleys to unloadBourbon's implements of war.

OFG and Bourbon of the Red passed amongthe buildings to reach the high hill. Passing the barracks Col Tibarked an order and immediately two young soldiers dressed in finearmor presented themselves.

“Here they are,” OFG said proudlyto Bourbon, “you remember my youngest two, I'm sure. My FightingUruk-hai Princess Bearkiller and Zander Hannibal Bonecrusher.”

Kai stepped forward on long legs andcareful paws, shaking her mane and flashing her teeth. She bowed lowto Bourbon, but kept her eyes on him the whole time. He did not missthis slight and laughed, tossing his head. “She keeps herinsolence, OFG, you must watch this one.” He said, his tone lightas he reached out and touched Kai's chin. “She's cut her teeth inbattle but she has yet to learn the ways of a true warrior.”

Then the large man turned his attentionto the young, dark prince. Zander's bright eyes stared right atBourbon. The young pup stood proud, broadening his shoulders andkeeping his ears straight up. The man towered over Zander but the pupdid not flinch.

Zander's birth had been foretold by anoracle of the land many years ago. An ancient hen had made her wayinto The Great Hall on gnarled feet to tell OFG of the vision. On astormy night long ago the old hen had seen it. That night the thundershook the ground and lightening cracked the sky open. In the blazingsky she had seen a warrior as fierce as the wind and more terriblethan the hour before the breaking day. He came on flashing feet thatfell like drum beats. They called him The Black Death. Coyotes inthree counties would heard his howl. And fear.

OFG heard this telling and pondered thewords. She then set out to find this pup, this dark knight, thisBlack Death. At long last she found him being raised by wise women onan island far to the East. He looked so small back then, but OFG knewwhen she first held the squirming pup that he was the one. Sherewarded the wise women well and named the tiny one Zander HannibalBonecrusher. He bore the weight of the heavy name and those ancientgenerals would be proud.

“Ah, yes,” Said Bourbon nodding,“The Black Death. He will be a strong warrior.” The two lookedintently at each other for a moment before Colonel Ti growled lowunder his breath. Zander inclined his head and then trotted back to take hisposition.

The young warriors fell in line as theparty made its way to the high hill. The enemy could be seen below,moving about lazily, unaware of their impending doom.

“This is where we fight,” Said Kaibreathlessly looking down on the enemy.

“This is where they die,” RepliedZander, dark eyes unblinking, staring intensely at his prey.

The still scene was broken whensuddenly Bourbon of the Red raised his voice and bellowed, “"ihrseid Schweine!" He stood at the edge of the forest and beganshaking his fist and hurling insults as the pigs. He did this forwell over an hour even tho the pigs had run off long before.

The first flakes of snow started tofall.

Taking one for the team

2011-12-05T08:55:00.001-05:00

No one on this earth loves to play fetch more than Dog#1. He's mad for the game and could play all day.

Here's mud in your eye....

Sometimes he likes to catch the ball right out of the air... and sometimes... well. It doesn't go as planned. Like this. That mud shiner must have been worth it. For sure.

The rest of the dogs don't really care for playing fetch. Kai mostly just likes the running, Dog#2 just likes to goof around, and Zander only thinks its fun to run off with the ball after Titan drops it to be thrown again. Zander's new favorite game is "keep away" and he and Kai play it all the time. Dog#1 doesn't think this is funny at all. But we can't help but laugh at Commander Zander's floppy little ears and his hobby-horse-like run, half turned around , looking over his shoulder with the ball in his mouth as if to say "you can't catch me!" But the thing is... we can catch him. We think this is pretty funny. He does not.

We are looking down the barrel of another epic rain around here. So plenty of mud to go around in the next few days. We might even break the all time record for rainiest year on record.

Stay dry everyone! And remember the key to a successful game of fetch is to bring lots of balls.

Happy Monday everyone!

Part One: At first light

2011-12-04T06:30:00.000-05:00

The scene: A pale sun rose on two figures high ona hill overlooking the enemy's encampment. The first red rays of dawnstreaked across a moody sky.

OFG stared down intensely at the enemymarveling in their size. She narrowed her eyes as she calculated thespoils of war. The morning's cold chilled her to the bone.

Colonel Ti sniffed the air anxiouslywondering when they would get their opportunity.

"Will the weather hold, Sir?"The veteran warrior asked his liege.

"I don't know." OFG stoopedto the ground, scooped up a handful of the good earth and breathed inits scent.

"What do the oracles say?"Col Ti pressed.

"The oracle speak in riddles,"she said "we alone will make our decision and let him know."

That very morning word came fromBourbon of the Red. He pledged to move his troops down to join thebattle with them. The only question was when. OFG gazed up at thebrightening sky. The wind blew cold from the north. If only.... Onthis knife's edge of seasons a battle too soon would be misery in thecold rain. The mud would make for a difficult victory. They neededcold days and frozen earth.

Col Ti ventured, "Will he bringmany troops?"

"A few," She answered, "boysreally."

But both knew that extra troops wereunnecessary. Bourbon of the Red was the most feared warrior in theknown world. Stories sung around the fires told of his fearlessness.Some said that he enjoyed the slaughter too much, that his veins ranwith ice water. Tested in battle many times his courage was unwavering. And he was merciless. He shared his domain with a small,fire-haired woman who wore the mark of The Bar. It was said she was asorceress and that her words alone defeated her foes.

After a time OFG stood, looking downonce more on their enemy. “Col Ti,” She commanded, “Preparethe men. We ride for war five days hence, at first light.” Sheturned, letting her battle cloak fall from her shoulder, and strodetoward the bunker. Preparations were to begin immediately.

Col Ti, hungry for the battle, brokeout in a fierce grin. Then, suddenly he threw his massive head backand let out his war howl. It pierced the coming day like a thousandspears and echoed thru the land. Below the enemy scattered in fear. He turned and trotted after OFG.

Comings and goings

2011-12-03T06:30:00.000-05:00

Actually its mostly "goings." We've had a few losses - some of the old guard.

Penny is the beautiful grey Toulouse shown here with the flock.

Our old momma goose, Penny, finally passed. She'd been poorly since this summer. All Penny ever wanted to do was lay eggs and set a nest. She was a great momma. Mated to our ornery gander, OD, we were the pair's third owners. We think they had to be at least 10, but probably 12. They came to us as "used poultry" from my pal, Bourbon Red.

Since geese mate for life we were afraid that OD would be lost with her. Even tho OD was a philandering gander and had spent time in the tabloids for his exploits. Earlier this summer we encouraged him to team up with Cindy and the two young ganders. Penny spent most of her time sitting and enjoying the sun while the others roamed around. However, the other morning was so wet and cold that we kept her inside in the dry straw. We found her later that day. A fine end to a long life.

Our other loss was Franhilde. She was one of our original 5 hens. Probably the only "Easter egger" who laid white eggs. For heavens sakes. I was surprised by her passing tho. Earlier in the week I was noticing how spry she was and how well she was doing. However, she was at least 12. Franhilde gained notoriety as my standard bearer in this epic tale.

As far as new arrivals, the goaties are all doing well. They are all changing in shape - even Dahlia. So hopefully this spring there will be a horde of baby goats. Mission accomplished, Too Short!

That's the news here. Happy Saturday! Is everyone avoiding the shopping malls? Or are you headed for the madness?

So I got one of those Facebook thingys.....

2011-12-02T06:30:00.000-05:00

Hey, look at me! I'm keeping up with technology and finally got one of them Facebook thingys. You can find me as Ohio Farmgirl there. After avoiding "the Facebook" this whole time you might wonder why I finally caved and finally signed up? Of course there is a story.

Zander and his too-big-for-his-head ears. Adorable.

However, this isn't one of those feel good stories. And there is some questionable language involved. So God-fearing women and respectable types like our Miss Ginny should probably read no further. I've provided an adorable picture of the pup and I'll wish you a happy Friday. Heiko, Mr. H, JJJ, and B. - read on.

So for a while I had been active on one of those "self reliant" online forums - you know, like minded folks chat online about what they are doing down on the farm, share tips on how to garden, and occasionally get into virtual alterations about the price of tea in China or what not. It was fun, I learned a lot, and a met a lot of friends I am extremely happy to know.

But the mood of the forum started to change. And I realized I was spending a lot of time there - which really only helped someone else's business. Just in case you don't know, the owners of these kinds of websites make money off all your chatter. They get paid for each "page view" when readers are looking around. The advertisers pay "per click" - which is a great business and yay for them. But I woke up one day and realized that maybe I should concentrate on my own efforts instead of "working for free" for someone else.

And then a lot of weird stuff happened. Then the flimflam started. Pretty soon it was an all out hullabaloo, not to mention the fur was really flying. Then blah blah blah and yadda yadda yadda... I could go on and on. The long and short of it was that I chose to abide by the immortal words of my favorite uncle when he said, "They told me to f*ck off, so I did." I didn't necessarily go away mad. I just went away. Mostly laughing and proudly wearing my 35 demerit points on my sleeve.

And no, it doesn't matter which homestead/self reliant forum it was - so I'm not saying. And sure the Facebook basically works on the same ad-revenue generation principal - but I'm the only moderator there. Unlike. You know.. other places.

So mistakes were made, feelings were hurt, and I really don't think that trying to mend fences while you're drunk on turkey is the best policy. Was I on my best behavior in all of this? Nope. But instead of an honest attempt at reconciliation, the lowest blow came when I found out that The Management felt I had stirred up trouble by telling lies and fabrications. I did not tell these lies. I made no fabrications. Instead of asking me directly or extending a hand of peace "they" just believed the worst. So guess what?

Guess what? Puppy butt. Smell ya later, forum who shall remain nameless.

Puppy butt. And that is what I have to say and that is what you're gonna see as I saddle up my circus and ride on out of town. As one very smart friend said, "The interweb is a big place." And so it is.

Anyway. My point is, I joined the Facebook so I could stay in touch with my friends. And I hope I can "friend" you folks also. I already found a few blog-pals- Chai Chai, Sonja, and Dave - and look forward to finding more of you. The blog remains, of course and is still my central focus for the goings on around here. Of course this means that I'm gonna have to learn to use the Facebook.. maybe I'll ask the youngest neighbor kid how to run it, he'll know.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it. We'll return to our regular programming next time. Until then, Happy Friday!

One Potato, two potato....

2011-12-01T06:30:00.000-05:00

Does everyone know how great it is to can potatoes? What a great project!

Quarts of potatoes and pints of sweets.

I've been canning potatoes and sweet potatoes for the last couple days, in between all the chaos and mayhem that's been going on around here, of course.

I found some great deals on both just before Thanksgiving at my local grocery stores. Unfortunately one of the stores put a "10 pound limit" on their $0.25/pound sweet potatoes - or I would have walked out with 40 pounds of them. At least. Maybe more.

Why would I can potatoes? Mostly because they are insanely expensive back here.....and they just don't keep well. And we are out of our home grown taters. So when I saw a great deal going on, I scooped them up.

Processing is easy - clean, chop, cook, and process in your pressure canner. Getting all the processing done in one fell swoop makes it so easy to make a fast supper. At any moment you can just reach out and grab a jar of potato-loveliness and fry yourself up a skillet of taters in lard. What could be better?

I actually like sweet potatoes as a savory, not a sweet dish. No mini-marshmallows here, friend. But olive oil, sea salt, lots of ground black pepper, and some rosemary are just the ticket. And I'm just crazy for hash these days - especially with sweet potatoes.

If we had a cold storage area or root cellar than maybe it wouldn't make sense. But our basement is finished and heated (and dry thanks to our trenching project!) and I'd need a bulldozer to dig out a proper cellar. So until then, I'm cannin' taters like a fool - both regular and sweet.

Happy Thursday everyone! When I get tired of savory sweet potatoes I'm gonna make sweet potato pie! Who wants some?

Editor's note.. Oh for heavens sakes, how did it get to be December already?

Ground turkey? Yes, you can!

2011-11-29T06:30:00.000-05:00

I spent last week gaming the grocery system and scored some sweet deals. Including two frozen turkeys - a total of 38 pounds for about $9.

That's about $0.31 pound. Not as great as last years, $0.29/pound steal... but still pretty good. What did we do with all that turkey-liciousness? Well. We didn't roast it for one meal. We used my tried and true method of parting up the turkeys and using just about every ounce to stock up our larder. Yes, we made meat balls, yes, we made stock...and yes.... we canned ground turkey.

Canning meat? What? Am I crazy? Nope. Actually its one of our best projects and I can't believe I didn't do this earlier.

You really don't want to thaw out, grind, and refreeze meat. The most reasonable solution is to cook it and then store it. Looking down the barrel of our upcoming Hog Harvest, we really won't have a square inch of freezer space to spare. So we tried canning cooked ground meat. It rocks.

The process is easy peasy. Cook it, cover with boiling water or broth, and process in your pressure canner. Then you're ready for easy and quick dinners. How great is that?

In total we 'harvested' 5 or 6 quarts of rich stock, a tub of rendered fat, 9 pints of ground meat, 5 pints of shredded meat from making stock, two bags of meatballs, and several tubs of cat food. And one roasted breast for supper one nite. For $9. "Fast food is cheaper" my left foot! Get down to the store right now and snatch up the cheap turkeys before they get away.

How about you? Anybody else spend the weekend canning? And whats with all this rain?

Happy Tuesday everyone!

Um.....

2011-11-28T12:00:00.001-05:00

Does it look like these meat chickens doubled in size from just last week?

Wow these house meats are growing like weeds! We really need to get them out of the basement- and get the Paws of Doom in there to get rid of the mice that have appeared. I checked my notes and we actually had meat chickens until January last year. I know that some folks are wondering if having this late-in-the-season meat chickens works....and it does. We'll move them out into the turkey house as soon as we can get Debbie, our last dairy goat, dried out.

Today was the last morning I milked Debbie all the way out. She gave a beautiful bucket of milk and just as I turned to take it out to the chickens.... I dropped it and her precious milk went all over the floor. Ugh! And yes, you can cry over spilled milk. I ended up calling the hens in so at least it wasn't such a waste.

In other news, the pigz are huge. We'll have some cold days coming up.....right after three days of straight rain. Timing is not on our side. Butchering pigs is enough work without having to do it in the mud.

That's the news here - did everyone survive the holiday? No Black Friday for us we have enough craziness in our own barnyard. Altho Nibbles did present to me a detailed list of her Christmas demands. Ha! She'll get some coal in her stocking if she keeps it up.

Gobble Gobble!

2011-11-24T08:03:00.001-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Remember to eat lots of pie. Hope everyone has a great day.

Good thing we've got chickens

2011-11-22T06:30:00.000-05:00

All I'm sayin' about the SuperFail is... good thing we've got chickens. Jerks. The not-so-super-duper-committee, not the chickens. But hey - look at the meat chickens!

The meats are stinkin' up the house and they need to be moved out to one side of the turkey house. However, Debbie the goat is in there right now. Its the barnyard shuffle.

Debbie is being sequestered because we are trying to "dry her out." That's goat speak for getting her to stop making milk. Its actually kinda hard. There are a couple different theories. One is to just stop milking "cold turkey." But that kinda seems mean... and some people think it can lead to mastisis.

Another approach is to gradually dry her off by milking less. Since milk production is an "on demand" process... if you milk less then your lady goat should produce less milk. Sounds about right to me. And it worked for Nibbles. I stopped milking Nibbles at night a while ago. Then I only milked her a little bit in the morning and left most of her milk. After about a week her udder wasn't refilling at all. Then I only milked a little bit every other day. Then I just stopped.

We're working on milking Debbie less which is thats why she's in the turkey house. We especially need to keep her separated Dahlia, her doeling from this spring, so she won't try and nurse of Debbie.

Technically you can milk a goat up until six weeks before she has her babies. But we don't believe in doing that. First because milking is only fun on a nice spring day, not when its -30* with the windchill. Also we just think that its too hard on her system. We'd like her to concentrate on growing her babies not producing milk. Finally, we don't have to keep feeding her the best quality hay if we dry her out. At some point she just won't produce enough milk to justify expensive, best quality hay. She's at that point so its time to shut her down.

But Debbie had better hurry up and dry out. Those meat chickens are getting stinkier by the day.

Anybody else got chickens in their basement?

Happy Tuesday everyone!

"G" is for love.....

2011-11-21T06:30:00.000-05:00

Actually "G" is for gingerbread. Dontcha just loooooooove gingerbread? I found a new recipe and you just have to try it - look what you get...

For the life of me I can't remember what I was doing looking at this blog. But I started clicking around and I found this recipe for Marion's Gingerbread. I don't know who Marion is, but wow does she have some ass kickin' gingerbread!

This isn't the sticky gooey melty topped gingerbread that I sometimes make. Its more cakelike but the addition of black pepper really puts some pep in your step. I can't find Chinese Five Spice around here but I made do with what I had and added some cloves and more cinnamon. Instead of the black strap molasses you can find at the store I used Mr. Miller's fresh from the farm sorghum molasses. Just heavenly.

Of course the afternoon I made this fine gingerbread I couldn't just let it be lonely in the bowl so I added some caramel sauce and plopped on some fresh whipped cream. But in the mornings I just heated up a slice of this gingerbread and poured on the fresh milk. Any way you slice it, this gingerbread is a taste sensation. But whatever you do don't skimp on the black pepper - you'll thank me.

Speaking of love, does everyone know my friend Kris? She had such a beautiful story the other day I just had to give her a shout out. Kris is very very funny and she is very smart. She really knows her "heritage skills" and she can make do with just about nothing. She always has a good word and is a wonderful example of a Godly woman. Thanks, Kris for this remarkable post.

Happy Monday everyone!

How "Occupy The Barnyard" Ended Around Here

2011-11-18T09:21:00.001-05:00

Lately The Mob has been giving me grief. You remember this batch of chicks that hatched one at a time over the course of almost 3 weeks?

Pretty much they have decided they don't like being oppressed by "the man" and have refused to go into their coop at nite. Every nite its a chase to get them all locked up tight and safe from the yowling coyotes and foxes that we've been hearing. The Mob had decided to stage and protest and set up camp in the lower goat yard. That's right, its the Occupy the Barnyard protest.

The other night, tired from doin' stuff all day I tried to reason with them and shouted, "Hey, you chickens! Get up here, find a roost, and put you butt on it!"

Mocking jeers were their only reply. I marched down there.

After a chase, some swearing, and a whole lotta "Why you, I oughta's" I got most of them into the coop and on a roost. They forgot about their protest once they saw their feed. All but one were safely tucked in and ready for bed. A lone rooster from the lineage of Mr. Noodles, that beautiful blue roo we had a while back, refused to come in for the right.

I stomped back down to their now empty camp in the lower goat yard. There was a chase. About the fourth time around the goat yard I was getting frustrated. The sun was going down and there were others to take care of so I got the dogs.

"You can't do that!" Shouted the lone rooster.

"Do what? Quit being so ridiculous and go to bed! Now." I was getting steamed. Kai and Titan, positioned behind me, were starting to paw around eager to get into the fray.

"This is a non-violent protest and you can't just bring in the brute squad! I speak for the people. I am the 99%!" The little rooster crowed. He had stopped running and decided to stand his ground. He put his wings around a tree and hugged it.

"For the love of Pete, get up here and go to bed!"

He hugged the tree tighter.

"Titan," I commanded, "Get down there and get me that rooster!" The big dog took off with a mighty bound. Seeing the enormous dog coming for him the little rooster's courage broke and he started to run with Ti right behind him. Normally the chickens will just get scared and run up to the hen house. And Titan knows how to herd them up there.

"Help! Help!" Cried the little rooster.

"Are you being repressed by the violence inherent in the system?" I yelled back, watching the chase.

"That's not funny!" He was just plain mad now. And slowing down as he was getting tired from running in wild circles.

"Sure it is." I said as he made another lap around the big pine tree. Then I made a series of clicking noises to get Ti's attention to signal him to back off from his pursuit. I was pretty sure that little rooster was heading toward the hen house. They never keep this up for too long.

But the little rooster came over and stood at my feet. "Look," he said shaking his fist at me, "we're mad as hell and we aren't gonna take it anymore! This whole 'barnyard' system is totally unfair. Your greed is ruining everything. We're having a revolution and it starts now."

I folded my arms across my chest and raised an eyebrow, "Is that right?"

"Yes." Said my little protester, "I am a male-bodied chicken and I demand...."

"You're a WHAT?"

"I said I'm a male-bodied chicken..."

I looked at him incredulously. "You are a rooster not a 'male-bodied chicken'. Now go to bed."

All of a sudden he started wiggling his wing feathers at me in a weird way. "What the heck is that, Little Rooster?" I asked totally confused.

"Its our way of saying that I don't agree with you." He carefully explained.

"Get in the hen house." I told him sternly.

"You're not the boss of me! We want a new economy here where everyone is equal and everyone can do whatever they want!" He was starry-eyed imagining the new world order.

"Well you can't just do whatever you want," I whipped out a picture of the great philosopher, Spock, and stuck it in the Little Rooster's face. "Do you see this? Don't you understand the concept that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few? Everyone has their place and everyone works for the good of all not just the one. You're not just gonna stay out here and be coyote bait. Don't you see its all part of the circle of life and it spins mighty tightly around here? So fall in line and get in that hen house!"

"This is what a police state looks like! This is what a police state looks like!" He yelled pumping his fist in the air. Then he turned and waggled his bottom at me, then smirked "Kiss it copper! Talk to the tail feathers!" And then he ran off again toward the bottom of the goat yard.

"Kai!" I commanded and the young curly tailed dog sprang to attention. This was it. This was the first time she was asked to be part of the barnyard round up. This was her chance to prove to Titan that she could be a Hard Working Farm Dog and not just a huntress. My Fighting Uruk-hai verily quivered with anticipation as she awaited her assignment.

I nodded in the direction that the Little Rooster ran off and said, "Get me that rooster." And she was off. Ti and I watched as she thundered down the hillside, muscles bunching to hurl her huge body forward, eyes focused like lasers on the rooster, ears pitched forward...she was magnificent. She zigged when he did, zagged when he did, and never broke her line of sight or concentration. And never going for the kill.

"Not bad" I said to Ti who, watching Kai, nodded his approval.

Suddenly the Little Rooster panicked. Instead of heading back up the hill to the hen house he turned and darted thru the fence into the no man's land - Fox Central - the brambles between us and the neighbor's property. He disappeared into the underbrush.

Kai hit the electric fence like a freight train. From our vantage point up on the hill both Titan and I cringed waiting for her screams of pain. But she'd managed to avoid getting zapped by the powerful charge that will leave a burn on your arm and give you a twitch in your eye for two days. Don't ask me how I know this.

Unfortunately Kai was now "out of bounds" which is a hanging offense especially since she was all amped up on her prey drive and heading towards the neighbors goat yard. I shouted the series of commands instructing Kai to "stop what you're doing", "look at me", and "come here right now!"

The big curly tailed huntress pulled up short, turned, and trotted her victory lap up the hillside.

Well. That Little Rooster was on his own. In this barnyard we'll do what's reasonably necessary to bring in the stragglers. But unfortunately for him we don't have a "no rooster left behind" policy. The dogs and I gave one last look for that Little Rooster and then turned to go inside just as it was getting too dark to see.

Early the next morning, well before sunrise I took Zander the pup out for a quick walk. He and I stumbled around in the dark until suddenly we both turned toward the far side of the goat yard. We heard a series of tiny screams and the snickering of a hundred foxes closing in on their prey. The horror...the horror.

The barnyard was a little sullen that morning during chores. But you can bet your bottom dollar that most of The Mob were already inside with their butts on roosts when I went out for evening chores. All but a few who stood just inside the hen house door shouting their thanks and well wishes. "Thanks for keeping us safe! Great work securing the borders!" They all applauded and smiled as the big dog and I walked up to close the door.

So ended the Occupy the Barnyard protests in our neck of the woods. Everything seems to have gotten back to normal. The other morning I overheard one of the older hens explaining to a younger hen that, "Look. Around here their are winners and there are losers. You're gonna feed her one way or another so you might as well lay an egg."

I smiled and nodded to myself. And so it goes.

Commander Zander weighs in

2011-11-17T08:57:00.001-05:00

We took the pup to the vet on Monday for a recheck and more puppy shots. They couldn't believe it was the same pup - he's gained TEN POUNDS since they saw him just a two weeks ago. Zander now weighs in at 28 pounds. He's ten and a half weeks old. Wow!

Zander loves to sleep in funny ways. We can almost see him growing.

He's had some important milestones lately. He can now go up and down the stairs by himself - thank heaven. He was getting too heavy to carry!

He loves to destroy everything. Just like Kai did when she was younger.

Wow can he eat! He's gone from five or six small meals a day to more like 3 big meals and a couple snacks. He's learning to eat with Kai so he doesn't develop any of the food aggression behaviors. And he's gotten really snugly with me. His legs are getting really long so he's starting to run like a dog instead of that teeter-totter little puppy run-hop.

After an epic battle with a lot of wrestling. And destroying everything.

Puppies go thru a development phase where they are really impressionable, as my friend SD says. We call it the scardy-pup phase. He'll come out of it really fast but we are being careful that nothing really bad happens to him or that he doesn't become frightened of anything. Mostly tho he's so good natured that he'll breeze right thru this.

Finally they both went to sleep, two peas in a pod.

Zander and Kai love playing together. Its hilarious to see him play-growling at her. He'll crawl up on her back and chew on her ears and pull at her mane. But she just shakes him off and starts the game again. The older dogs are getting tired of his constant playing. So we've been giving them a "reverse time out" and letting them be in the living room with us while Kai and Zander have epic play battles in the dog area.

In other news, we've had about 3 inches of rain in the last couple days. We're thrilled that our trenching project seems to be working. Now that the weather has passed we'll be back in the trenches.

Happy Thursday everyone! Can you believe its only a week until Thanksgiving!?!

Potstickers and ditches

2011-11-15T06:30:00.000-05:00

Its a weird combination, I know. But I'm still on my kick to find new ways to fill the gaping void of ethnic food in this small town. So check it out, pot stickers:

Honestly I don't know the difference between pot stickers and gyoza, but wow these turned out great. I used (loosely, of course) this recipe. For the filling, I used the rest of the smoked duck from the other day along with carrot, garlic, ginger, cabbage, and soy sauce. Its probably 5 minutes of cooking and prep time longer than making eggrolls. Totally worth it.

So it turns out there's some other folks out there digging ditches so I guess we are all in this together. Today we worked on filling another downspout from the garage and also on a perpetually wet, low spot at the bottom of the hill. Luckily we were able to trolley several loads of gravel down in the cart pulled behind garden tractor that I'm forbidden to drive. But we are still pretty tired. We are supposed to get a lot of weather tonight/tomorrow so we'll see if our trenches are working.

One of the questions was "what do you do at the end of the trench?" Here's the end of one of our trenches, with Dog#1 for scale:

The drainage pipe will emerge here, and be above ground.

The theory is that, provided you are on a hill, you follow the desired slope with your trench until you get to a hillside. The trench ends at the point where the hillside meets your desired slope. Clear as mud? Of course, we are going to have to make provisions for this trench end. We need to make sure we aren't just creating a huge erosion problem.

For the last several weeks I've been watching a roadside project with a new big culvert. After they built the ditch and pipe to divert the water, they loaded up the slope where the culvert pipe emerges with big rocks. Then they filled in with regular gravel. We can do that. Or more likely we'll connect the drainage pipe with solid pipe and run it down the hill to where there is an actual gully.

Another question was about wrapping the perforated drainage pipe with that geotextile stuff (landscaping fabric). We researched and debated and thought about it and finally decided not to use it. The argument is that the fabric keeps the perforated pipe from getting filled up with silt and sand. The counter argument is that the gravel is really doing all the work. We decided against the extra expense when we noticed that none of the farmers use anything but the black plastic perforated pipe when laying tile in their fields.

However, that doesn't mean its the right answer for everyone. For normal backyard projects I think its a good idea. But soil type and other factors will make the decision for your area and project.

We also realize that two days with a trencher and some gravel may not solve all our drainage problems. We aren't going to for the gold standard by any means, we just need to solve some immediate issues. So for heavens sakes if you are about to undertake digging your own ditches be sure to do your research. I thought this made it fairly simple and was a good explanation. And this guy made sense to me - but the ads on the site are pretty distracting.

But in the end I think that a lot of folks look at all the work that is required.... and then just decide to hire someone who knows what they are doing. Us? Well, we're doing what we can with what we have to work this. Until Santa brings me that tractor with the bucket on it, that is.

Happy Tuesday everyone! I'm hoping for rain so I can take a day off!

What work looks like

2011-11-14T06:30:00.000-05:00

"Oh Lord, thank you for making me sturdy and not skinny."

The gravel pile and the tools of the day

I would have never made it thru today if I was one of them skinny gals, for sure. I used to have someone in my life who was one of those girls. I always thought she needed a sandwich and she always thought I should put mine down. She had the thinnest arms I'd ever seen - I don't rightly know how she could even lift a fork. But she could throw back a martini or two...or five. She could have never done the work we did today and that's why my thanksgiving tonite is for my sturdy, but short, body. I can do a hard days work.

Truth be told, I might actually be shorter right now - such was my toil. We got a lot done but I'm gonna pay for it as this night wears on. At this writing (Sunday nite) I'm basically snorting Advil and have a straw in a bottle of Two Buck Chuck. If I live my only reward will be going out there and doing more shoveling tomorrow.

We got about half the trenching done on Saturday. With my innate ability - some may call it a superpower - to break anything mechanical I was prohibited from touching the rented trencher. So I was on gravel duty while The Big Man finished the trenching. We're doing all the gravel by hand. Me a shovel and the good ol' wheelbarrow.

The Big Man running the trencher across the front of the house and turkey house

Our goal is to fix the drainage problems with the property - to keep the water out of the basement and from flooding the yard. To do this we need to dig deep trenches, lay some of that black bendy pipe stuff (called tile), and fill in the trenches with gravel. One wheelbarrow load at a time. And then we gotta move all the dirt that we dug up.

This is what I did all stinkin' day - filled the trenches with gravel

I breezed thru the first ton of 57 limestone like it was a cake walk. The second ton was like hitting your stride in a marathon. The third tons was starting to burn...By the fourth ton the chickens were throwing water on me and yelling "Go! Go! Go!" I was actually seeing stars and wondering why we didn't have a tractor with a bucket on it when I hit the fifth ton. By 5.5 tons I was wondering why we didn't have a freakin' tractor. At 5.75 tons I decided that the best course of action was for The Big Man to sell a kidney so we buy a freakin' tractor. About that point I passed out and the dogs drug me to safety.

See those lines in the side of the trench? Thats from the trencher - can you believe it?

I always suspected we had bad soil and it was confirmed thru my gardening experience and when I took in my soil sample to the county extension office. But this was unprecedented. It was like sawing thru concrete. All I'm sayin' is - this had better work.

Happy Monday everyone! Anyone else diggin' ditches?

What $400 worth of fun looks like...

2011-11-12T11:39:00.001-05:00

Behold. Gravel....

Does that look like 15 tons to you?

I tell you the truth. I've spent way more money on way more stupid stuff and my confession to you is this... I love gravel. Diamonds? Nope. The only rocks I want are 57 limestone dumped in a big pile. Whooot!

A rare self portrait of a girl and her gravel

We have a couple drainage projects that we need to work on. The gravel guy finally showed up this morning. The Big Man is on his way to get a trencher. I'm strengthening myself by eating a pan of brownies and a huge brunch of root veggies and smoked duck. As soon as he gets back the shoveling will commence. Of course this would be much easier if we had a loader but we'll make do with a whole lot of hard work and swearing. My arms may be too tired to post tomorrow but today we shovel!

Happy Saturday everyone! Are you all having a glorious sunny fall day like we are? Wow!

Checkin' out the hams

2011-11-11T08:19:00.001-05:00

Would you just look at those hams.... come on colder weather... I need me some bacon!

The pigz still have a few pumpkins.. I mean.. "gourds" from our free score the other day. Those pigz just loved 'em.

I don't know about you but I'm glad this full moon has passed. Hopefully things will start settling down out there in the barnyard. Zander was on a rampage but we think he's going to have a "growing" day here soon and sleep a lot.

The goaties all seem to be bred - they are getting deeper in the body and are complaining about everything. We are starting the process of drying them out. Let's face it - milking is only fun on a fresh spring day. Not when there is snow on the ground.

We have a couple drainage projects we need to work on so today is all about gravel. I'll be shoveling a lot of gravel today.

Happy Friday everyone! Whatcha shoveling today?

Democracy, Chicken Guts, and Asteroids

2011-11-09T08:05:00.000-05:00

Was yesterday a great day or what? We had it all - democracy, chicken guts, and asteroids.

Last of the leaves are hanging on...

First, it was our last nice day - sunny and 70*, baby! But its gonna try and snow by the end of the week so summer is official over. Then we ran right down and voted.

I love voting in a small town. As soon as we walked in one of the poll workers shouted "Hey! Its Medium Hot Fudge and Peanut Butter Shakes!"

It was the lady from the family run ice cream stand. The woman next to her leaned over and said, "Who?" The ice cream lady said, "That's Mr. and Mrs. The Big Man."

"Oh. You mean the one with the goat?"

I stood a little taller in my fame. The first thing we were told when we moved to this small town was not to tell anyone our business so's folks wouldn't talk. I immediately started making up wild tales just to watch the rumor mill churn. Some folks may have been led to believe that I'm ex-DEA and currently in witness protection. I don't know how they got that idea. (Ha!)

The full moon is coming on - keep an eye on the barnyard for malfeasance.

After that we loaded up at the feedstore we went home and took care of a couple troublesome roosters. I mean to do a post called "Life is too short for a mean rooster" but pretty much I can't keep a straight face and the whole thing degrades into a bunch of stupid jokes. But we had a couple mean roosters and I wasn't fixin' to feed them one more minute. So they are going to their glory in a pot of noodles. The hens cheered as that big light brahma mix got a good pluckin'. He dressed out beautifully. You can't go wrong with a big old coc... I mean.. rooster for the pot. *snicker*

And then we all survived "Asteroid Near Miss 2011." Thank heaven. Me and the dogs went out to watch the going's on but pretty much all we saw where a bunch of stars. At one point we thought we saw something but it turned out to be an airplane. Defeated, we all just went back into the house.

That's the doin's here. We have a couple hours before the rain comes on. Heaven knows I need an inside day but we are about to run right out and rake up as many leaves as we can for the compost pile.

Happy Wednesday everyone! Did anyone actually see Asteroid 2005 YU55?

I'm voting for....

2011-11-08T06:30:00.000-05:00

FREE PUMPKINS!

Firmly in the category of "It never hurts to ask..." Wow! I got two shopping carts full of pumpkins at the grocery store yesterday. For FREE!

As I walked in I noticed two carts full of various and sundry gourds, pumpkins, and squash. They obviously didn't belong there so I moseyed over to the Customer Service Desk and asked if they were giving them away? The "customer service" person sneered at me and told me I was out of my mind (in not so many words). So I moved on..

And then I saw the produce guy. "Say friend, what's with the carts of pumpkins out there?" I casually asked.

"Well, they are gourds and they are free."

I tried to to remain calm and then asked, "Really? Can I have them....all?"

Completely unconcerned he just said, "Yep. Take them all."

Of course my eyes bugged right out of my head because:

1. They were FREE. Two shopping carts worth!

2. I was a little dubious of a produce guy who didn't know the difference between a stupid gourd and prize winning, pie making blue hubbard squash!

But I wasn't about to correct him so I ran right out there and pushed the carts over to the big truck and loaded them all up.

Talk about a great day! Not only did a score several free meals for them pigs - I also now have a huge supply of seeds just for the scooping. Not to mention I have some fabulous blue hubbard squash that have "pie" written all over them. What could be better?

I'll tell you what's better...... the puppy is so darn cute. Check him out sitting in the sunshine:

So is everyone voting? Doesn't matter what side you're on, get right out there. Don't think for a second that your vote doesn't count. Take the time to stop by your local polling place and cast your vote. If anything you're making it known that We The People want to be heard.

Happy Tuesday everyone!

The Great Escape: Nicholas's Hard Day #6

2011-11-07T06:30:00.000-05:00

I tell you the truth, I am good in a crisis. Its a family trait. My people are all handy in the face of adversity, calamity, or general mayhem.

We don't flap, flinch, or stand there gawking when action is required. And I'm bossy so that helps too. I tend to think quickly and I figured out a long time ago that people respond if you talk fast and with authority. So if you find yourself in a crisis, I'm the kind of person you want running up on the scene evaluating the situation, barking orders and springing to action.

Unless.

So there I was fresh from town where I had lunch with my pal, L. last week. I was ambling along out to close the gate, happy as could be. Until....I heard before I saw our inside-only cat, Nicholas. Outside. In the yard. Yowling and coming right to me.

I completely freaked out.

Not "oh golly would you look at that" or "wow how'd that happen"....I mean to tell you I completely became unglued and started screaming hysterically. And I did absolutely everything wrong for that situation. Not only was I screaming hysterically but I started running at him. A cat. I can tell you this for a fact, no cat will ever come to anyone who is screaming at them. Least of all if they are screaming and running right at them.

Especially if there are three huge dogs and a puppy also running right at them. Nicholas took off like a shot. It was total chaos. There was running and a lot more screaming. And then even more running and screaming while carrying a puppy. It was so bad that Dog#1 practically had to shake me by the shoulders and slap me to get me to pull myself together.

At one point I actually ran into the house and started screaming for Nicholas just in case there happened to be another distinctively marked 18 pound Maine coon x raccoon in the county - and our Nicholas was actually in the house. He wasn't and that was no impostor outside. I ran, screaming, back outside. This time without the puppy.

Just to add a little color to this discussion, the inside cats never go outside. Ever. There are a lot of reasons for this - coyotes, disease, that mean gander. So the last time any of the inside cats were actually outside was the second before I scooped them up and saved them from a life of vagrancy. In fact, I had just smirkily told our Good Vet that our inside cats never EVER go outside. I was very proud of myself. Until.. you know.. there was Nicholas out in the yard.

Meanwhile, outside, the hens had started to gather to watch the fracas. After a couple laps around the garage Nicholas darted under the big sliding door. I locked down all the doors and ran into the garage just in time to see the barncats, Shine and Bobbi, corner him.

Nicholas dove for cover behind the haybales and promptly got wedged in between the hay and the wall. Stuck. Like a cork. A screaming, growling, hissing hell bent on killing someone or something cork...that is, if he could have gotten free. But he was stuck.

All kidding aside, Nicholas is pretty big. And fiesty. I've had a cat bite before and I know they can be nasty business. So I really wasn't looking forward to reaching into the blender that was a huge hysterical cat wedged in a dark and scary place.

Having regained some command of my facilities I turned to reason and decided to ratchet it down a few clicks. I started talking to the enormous frightened cat in my singsong voice. He stopped yowling when I sang "...and I'll give you all the tuna in the world if you just calm down...." That got his attention.

I reached in and pulled the great cat free. And ran with him directly into the house.

Of course I did the obvious "next step" which was to call up The Big Man at work and scream at him hysterically. Then hang up. We all felt much better after that. Being a brave man he called back in about an hour to make sure everyone was OK. We were.

After the promised tuna I carefully checked Nicholas all over for bites or scratches. In truth, he probably was just out laying in the sun in the garden. He was fine but I kept him in the bedroom for a while just to make sure.

However once Nicholas figured out that a dramatic performance leads to more tuna he really worked it. Several cans of "the finest white albacore money can buy" later he stretched out his great frame and went to sleep. That's the way Nicholas.... sleep there on the comfy bed and dream no more of the Whole Wide World. All the activity made for a hard day indeed. The sixth of such.

Nicholas's Hard Day #1
Nicholas's Hard Day #2
Nicholas's Hard Day #3
Nicholas's Hard Day #4
Nicholas's Hard Day #5

Happy Monday everyone! Now, who can top that hard day?

Duck Eggrolls. Fill it. Roll it. Fry it up in a pan.

2011-11-05T11:10:00.000-04:00

Can you believe you can make eggrolls AT HOME? Just like this? Duck eggrolls? For heavens sakes.

One thing that is sorely lacking in The Flyover is good international fare. Sure you can get the best fried or broasted chicken in the world - but real Chinese food? Forget it. And no, that crap they serve in the mall isn't real Chinese food. Coming from the West Coast where you can get all the dim sum or black bean chicken you can carry... the total lack of good quality Thai, Chinese, or Japanese food just about makes me weep. Don't even get me started on sushi from the Kroger.

So basically I've been hungry for eggrolls for about 6 years. Sitting there reading my pal D's new blog - my source for 'how to' make all kinds of ethnic food - it occurred to me that an eggroll would be the best place for my pile of shredded duck meat. I went to Kroger and paid $2.99 for eggroll wrappers and branded myself as some kind of wacko by the checker.

Then I went home, cleared off the counters, prepared all my cooking implements, took a deep breath, and sat down to research the intricacies of making eggrolls at home. I was stunned. Pretty much this is it:

Fill it.

Roll it.

Fry it up in a pan.

That's it. No big ordeal, no special equipment, no 3 days of prep. That's it. I stood there slack jawed and buggy eyed. Here I've been denied the subtle flavors of eggroll goodness for six freakin' years - and that was it!?!

I got to work. I loosely used this recipe - except who would ruin a perfectly good eggroll with water chestnuts (blech!).

My list of ingredients was this:

* shredded duck (from the other nite)
* shredded cabbage
* a shredded carrot
* a little minced garlic.

I stir fried it all together until the cabbage was a little wilted. Then I slapped out one of them wrappers on my work surface, plopped a small scoop of the filling on the wrapper, and rolled as instructed on the back of the wrapper package. A quick brush of water to seal it and voila. That was it.

Of course I used tallow melted in a frying pan - just enough to cover the bottom. Then I fried 'em up a couple at a time and let them dry on paper towels.

They were heavenly. The duck added a richness that played off the snappiness of the cabbage. When the duck filling was gone we used ham. We ate them all in two sittings. And they are so quick to make! And so fun. Who wouldn't want to make eggrolls at home?

The local Kroger is gonna have to order more eggroll wrappers. We're about to march out there and get a bigger pile of duck - if you know what I mean - and then there will be eggrolls for all my friends!

Happy Saturday everyone! Now run right out and get you some eggroll wrappers! Now if I can only figure out how to make a proper pad see ew......

Free Advice

2011-11-04T09:06:00.001-04:00

Here's some free advice for ya.....

If, after unloading a ton of gravel each for two days in a row....then pulling huge weeds all afternoon..... don't mash and pack sauerkraut all afternoon. It just makes your arms hurt. I can't even type today.

So here is some Friday cute - my two curly tailed pups being very very good. By the way... we took Zander to the vet earlier this week. That little lump on the floor weighs 18 pounds. He's gonna be a king-sized dog for sure.

Happy Friday everyone!

Roast Duck for a Happy Birthday

2011-11-03T06:30:00.000-04:00

I know that bad food photography is a sin (the lighting in my kitchen is just terrible) but I just gotta show you what's cookin' here....

Prep is just cutting up some veggies, put in the oven, and that is all there is too it.

We are still in duck heaven around here. Yesterday I fixed up a roast duck that is perfect for a birthday celebration. Who's birthday? Our pal D, from the Gastronomic Gardener! Unfortunately, he lives hours away so it was a virtual party - so we got all the food! By the way - has everyone seen his great new site? Wow what an inspiration! And check out the food pix done right. I love D's approach - he's a regular guy with a job and family but he uses every inch of his in-city yard to grow fabulous produce. Then he cooks it up in a pan, deliciously.

There has been a rumor since the '70s that duck is greasy and hard to fix. Nothing could be further from the truth. This approachable roast duck is easy peasy and almost entirely hands free. I got this recipe from my pal Bourbon Red who really knows how to set out a supper fit for a king.

First, go and get your duck. If they aren't out there in the yard then check the freezer section of your grocery store. Salt the duck inside and out and flop it into a baking pan. You should also prick the skin (not into the meat) all over so the fat can drain out.

Next, cut up some veggies. I used onions, carrots, potatoes and sweet potatoes. Then add in some fruit - you heard me fruit - pears, apples, prunes if you got 'em. I used dried mission figs. Pile the fruit and veggies all around the duck - and put an onion or whatever you got inside the cavity. Then spice it up the whole mess with thyme and marjoram - a few hearty grindings of pepper and voila. That's it.

Here's the trick to roasting it... low and slow for a couple hours. I know. Can you believe it? Just have your oven heated to 275-300* and leave it be for a 2 or 3 hours depending on the size of the duck. Mine took about 2.5 hours. When one of the legs wiggled easily I took it out. At first I was so disappointed! I was sure I'd over cooked it. But nope. This foolproof method will get you an entirely cooked duck with very little chance of messing it up. The meat was tender and delicious and the veggies were out of this world.

Tender and delicious...and oh the veggies...

Normally I like duck rare - like a steak. But this easy peasy method had me sold by the first bite. I'll try more complicated cooking techniques in the future but I'm coming back to this prize winning preparation for sure.

As I sat down to this superb supper (and was promptly surrounded by a bunch of over interested cats....) I raised a glass to my pal D.... to a good health, good gardening, and a very Happy Birthday!

Happy Thursday everyone! Now get out there and find yourself a duck to roast!

That's one crazy parsnip

2011-11-02T06:30:00.000-04:00

Vegetables. Some of them are crazy. What are you gonna do?

Happy Wednesday Everyone!

Sweet Mother of Pate...look what I got here!

2011-10-31T22:28:00.001-04:00

Editor's note: I feel kinda bad for even posting this. One of my pals, Free, is currently one of the folks on the East Coast in the dark. I'm not worried about her because I know she is well provisioned - and one of the last things she said was that they just got some firewood. But of course I'm worried! Especially because she just got a bunch of chicks - hopefully she learned everything I taught her and has a slew of baby chicks snuggling in her br.. I mean... "personal mobile incubator." Hang in there, baby, and lemme know when you get your lights on!

Today is The Big Man's worst nightmare - I cooked both beets and liver. The only two foods he refuses to eat...but I'll say it... one of my best meals ever. I'm pretty sure he's gonna have a cheese sandwich for supper.

As my beets were roasting I laughed a little remembering the last time I had roasted beet and goat cheese salad. It was in a fancy bistro and it cost probably $8 or $9 for a pint sized serving. My cost to make the same thing here on the farm - practically free. And it was delicious. Easy peasy - roast beets, slice, and plop a big dollop of goat cheese on top. Now that's living, friend.

Then came the main dish. The duck risotto was eclipsed only by the duck liver pate. It was so good I may never eat again. I'm not even kidding.

Sweet mother of pate look at that! Oh liver... I love you in the wurst way...

This culinary adventure started earlier today when we dressed a couple of the younger ducks for supper. You know what that means. To answer before you ask - no it wasnt awful, yes it was easy, and wow having the right scald water temperature really makes for fast plucking. We only did two ducks because we were pressed for time. Hopefully this weekend we'll finish up the rest of that group.

Just enough rendered fat to coat the bottom of the pan.

After we cleaned up our work area I ran into the kitchen with a bowl full of large duck livers and fat. Immediately I started rendering the fat in a heavy pan over low heat. When there was enough fat to coat the bottom of the pan I moved the still solid fat into another pan to finish rendering. The livers were sauteed in the fat in the first pan. I loosely based the pate on this recipe here...mostly because I liked that it included brandy.

I used the necks, hearts, and wings to start a duck stock - low and slow for several hours - in anticipation of the risotto. I love making risotto, especially with barley instead of arborio rice. I think its makes for a richer and more earthy flavor which is perfect for this thyme scented duck risotto.

This is a close approximation for how I whipped up this rich and easy risotto. Of course I stirred in some cream at the end. And... I used some of my goat cheddar instead of parm which was a fabulous substitution. It shaves beautifully and adds an amazing quality to this dish. And its free(ish). In fact, this luxurious supper would have cost a pretty penny in civilization but my cost of goods was just about $1 or so.

So I'm raising a glass to my pal Free and hoping she and her chicks are staying warm. And I'd better go and make The Big Man a cheese sandwich.

Hope everyone had a great day - is the Halloween candy on sale yet?

More on dahlias and Dahlia

2011-10-28T09:37:00.002-04:00

On the last really warm and sunny day I went out and took some pix of the dahilas. Mostly so I wouldnt forget which was what color when I dig them up. We had some great results this time....

In other news, Too Short is about to go on his merry way. His new farm is eager to have him and I'll be glad when he's gone. Last nite he smeared his pee-covered face on my bare legs for the last darn time. Smell ya later, pal.

I'm pretty sure that Nibbles is bred - she has "pregnancy boobs"..that is, her udder feels different. If she comes into heat it will be in the next week. But I don't think so. She also sounds different and she's complaining about other things (then the regular complaints about the bad service and lack of respect).

To me Dahlia looks different but she could just be "fluffy" because of the cold weather. Hopefully she is bred. Deb was interested in Too Short just long enough for him to make her milk taste and smell bad. So hopefully all these gals are knocked up and now its just waiting around. One of my friends asked me how many babies I'd have in the spring. Honestly I hadn't thought about it. But I'm guessing that it will be somewhere between 3 and 9 babies. Wow! That's a lot of goats.

There's a couple things we won't do with our goat herd this next go around. First, goes without saying that we will not get another buck. I've already contacted Nibble's breeder and told her that we'd be first in line next fall. She got a good laugh.

Next, we won't keep another doeling. We kept Dahlia because she was so well bred. You really can't buy a doeling that has such good milking lines. But I have to say - I don't like the extra hassle. Debbie loves her kids so its hard to get her to stop letting them milk off her. And our plan to separate them didn't work at all. And I'm not convinced that breeding a doeling is the best strategy - and it might not even work. Next time we'll just sell all the kids and use the money to buy another doe in milk.

And to be truthful - I just don't like having the kids. I'm not enough of a goat snuggler to want to spend the extra time with them that I should. Our position is that if Dahlia isn't a champion milker like Debbie, or if she doesn't get bred - then she'll go to a new home. We really need all the critters here to work. So feeding Dahlia this whole time with no benefit doesn't really work with our farm-o-nomics view of the world. Hopefully she'll have good kids and be a good milker. If not... she'll get her pink slip and a layoff package from Human Resources.

We had a pretty good frost last nite - the dahlias might actually die back in these next couple of days. Good thing I got these pictures. As for Dahlia - hopefully she'll be out there complaining about the service and wondering if she looks fat.

Happy Friday everyone! Is anyone else feeling the winter coming on?

Here we go again..... meat chix for fall!

2011-10-27T09:32:00.001-04:00

You'd think we'd learn.... or maybe we have learned... Meat chix are in the house!

We were thrilled when the post called us on Tuesday morning to come and get our heapin, peepin' box of fun. Actually we thought they'd get here Wednesday so we had to scramble to get the tub and the heat lamp set up for these 30 little dinner chicks.

About 10 minutes after getting the chicks set up in a brooder I left to spend 24 hours in civilization. I watched cable TV and went to the mall. Can you believe that there is an entire channel dedicated to cup cake competition? I was mesmerized by the whole thing.

I have to remind myself that the rest off the world isn't as farmy as I am. Someone asked me if I had horses and I replied, "No we have real farm animals." I probably should have said that differently. And the server at the restaurant was a little green around the gills when I ordered a steak and explained my selection to my friend as being because "We don't have a cow to butcher yet." Kinda like our experience at IHOP but not as bad.

Anyway, when I got home I got the kiddie pool set up as a brooder for the meat chix. They are doing great so far and are starting to eat like a plague of locust. Meyer sent us one extra chick in the box....which promptly died yesterday. So started with 31, now down to 30.

One of my pals took advantage of the 50-chix-for$0.80-deal but wasn't having good luck with them. Of the original 50 about 10 had keeled over. As you know meat chicks aren't known for their steadfastness and can be kind of tricky. My pal asked for suggestions and this is what I said:

1. Make sure they are warm enough - for that many chicks you might need two heat lamps. Also be sure they are out of the breeze.
2. Got raw milk? Give it to the chicks - you can mix with their feed or just put it in a little dish.
3. Adding a tablespoon of Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV) into a gallon of water also helps
4. Add a little molasses to the feed or water (you can stir it in with the ACV)
5. Boost up the protein - get a bag of higher protein food (wild game feed or TSC has 24% Chick Starter) or give scrambled or hard cooked eggs.

Or if all else fails you can get either medicated feed. TSC's Dumor brand is not medicated which is why we like it, but there are brands that are so ask at your feeds store. I picked up a couple packages of something called "Sav-A-Chick" which is a "concentrated poultry electrolyte and vitamin supplement for use in drinking water."

We found that its easier to keep meat chix warm than it is to cool them off. However, you need to be on the lookout for signs they aren't handing the cold well. You're chicks should have a good "dispersal" pattern - that is they should not all be bunched up under the heat lamp, nor should they be as far away from the heat source as they can get.

The chicks should be evenly popping around in their living area - or laying down asleep with a little space between each other. You should also hear them "musically peeping" which is a happy sound that you'll know when you hear. If there is distress peeping run, don't walk, to make sure no one is stuck upside down the waterer (it happens) or that they are not too cold, too hot, or out of water. So far ours are doing well in their new digs.

As this group was hatched this week of Oct 24th... they should be ready in mid-December. Our plan is to do a better job of "dressing them for dinner" in small groups of 3 or 4. And seein' as how we are almost completely out of chicken.... I'll be counting the days. Until then my eye is fixed on the pigz... who's special day will be coming soon.

Happy Thursday everyone - anyone else get the special price from Meyer?

Milk Mustache

2011-10-26T13:43:00.000-04:00

This is for my pal, B, who sends me encouraging emails. Thanks buddy! At your request.....today we have...

... the milk mustache...

Hey! Is this thing on?

Gettin' some sips from the tap...

Look! Its live action!

Zander's cuteness has grown exponentially....especially since he's been helping me with the milking. "Helping" is a big word for sitting at my feet and begging me to squirt some of the goat's milk into his little mouth. Its hilarious.

The pup's little eyes nearly bugged right out of his head the first time he saw Debbie's huge milk bag. I'm not sure how he recognized her as a milk source, but he tried to latch right away. She's a good sport but not THAT good. The pup has razor sharp teeth and really really strong jaws. So I put him out of grabbed him before he got to Debbie and sat him at my feet. I thought it would be funny if I squirted a stream of milk at him - and he immediately started drinking it all up! So he's my milking buddy. Of course, this will have to come to an end soon. But we are loving every second of his puppyness.

Happy Wednesday everyone! Any body else got a milking buddy like this?

Hillbilly Hoop House

2011-10-25T06:30:00.000-04:00

I'm still working on puppy time so not a lot of time to post these last couple of days. But I did want to get in a quick pic of my new hillbilly hoop house:

We slapdashed this together the other day. Our first frost was on Saturday the 22 so we scrambled to get some things covered up.

For this quick hoop house I just used the tallest tposts that we had and used a 1x1's as a top beam and then I used a short piece of field fence as the "hoop." The "hoop" is secured (loosely) to two "sides" which are just cross pieces on shorter tposts. Heavy plastic is the cover. Easy peasy. If I can keep my swiss chard going I'll use straw bales as walls.

I made another larger one of these hoop houses... and it was going great - until I found one of my chickens in it scratching up all my seedlings! Drat.

In other news, the puppy is doing great. He spent his first nite with the big dogs...and he was just fine. Kai is still pretty rough and tumble with him so he slept in his cage. He didn't cry at all. So we were also fine. Mostly. Lets just say we didn't burst into flames and the puppy took it much better than the rest of us. He slept until 7:30 and didn't miss us at all. Not a bit. They grow up so fast.

Today's gratuitous puppy shot - little Zander giving the evil hedgehog the 'what for.' He hates the hedgehog and take every opportunity to shake it and growl like a Tasmanian devil. It hilarious. The pup is still in that funny phase where he plays until he falls over. Then sleeps where ever he lands.

He's already changing a lot. His tail is starting to curl, which is adorable.

Happy Tuesday everyone! Do have all your plants covered up? Have your hoops over everything?

That just ain't fittin'

2011-10-22T09:28:00.000-04:00

With deep regret I must inform you of the barnyard goings on. I'm doing this as part of my record keeping and not to shock or horrify you. But first, gentle reader, to prepare you for the terrible account ....I present the last rose of summer:

Summer's last rose... true, noble, just, pure, and lovely.

Choose, if you must, to continue reading. But be warned. Your brain my just explode. Mine almost did. Ready?

It started Thursday nite. There I was, innocently, walking out to the goat yard to get Debbie for evening milking. The dog was at my side. As we approached the gate we saw...we saw... we saw a sight of such debauchery, a scene so horrible, so shocking....that I tell you the truth. I dropped my bucket and ran. There was no way I was milkin' that. No way. That just ain't fittin' at all.

I believe I'm now mentally scarred from what I saw and very possibly need therapy. A lot of therapy. And certainly what was happening out there is forbidden by Leviticus and common decency.

I refuse to detail the horrid events of that evening so as not to inflict upon you the same mental strain that I am now laboring under... but I will reveal that the buckling, Too Short, has now been renamed by someone wiser than me as.... "Just Tall Enough."

I say no more on this and will now spend the remainder of the weekend in prayer and mediation. Focusing on what is true, noble, just, pure, and lovely.

Based on the events of the last couple weeks I have determined that this buckling project gets and F-.

Sure. I believe the buckling has been.. um.. effective. And he's kinda cute. However, I just am not cut out for these kinds of shenanigans. At all. Not even remotely. So Too Short.. or rather.. Just Tall Enough... has his tickets booked and his bags packed. He'll be departing these humble shores for a farm far....far...away. Smell ya later, pal.

That is all.

Day. Interrupted.

2011-10-21T20:41:00.000-04:00

One of my friends laughed when she heard we were getting the puppy. She asked me if I was caught up with everything because I'd never get anything done now on puppy time.

Yep. Pretty much I'm getting things done in about five minute increments. Then its take the puppy out, feed the puppy, play with the puppy, lather, rinse, repeat. I love it. We love having little Zander - who's already growing really fast. We figure he'll be mobile soon enough so we are really enjoying this little dog-toddler phase. He can't even climb the stairs and still needs help getting out the door.

This was a couple days ago - you can see we used Nicholas for scale again. The pup is soooo little.

"Commander Zander" has been helping us with morning chores. Mostly he just runs around and wrestles with leaves. But this morning he toddled up to me while I was milking Debbie the goat. His little eyes nearly bugged right out of his head when he saw her udder. So I squirted a little milk at him. He drank right from the stream of milk! Debbie was disgusted but it was the cutest thing I'd ever seen.

So we are on puppy time now. Lots of interruptions..and wait.. yep.. looks like its time to take him out again.

Hope everyone had a great Friday!

Pumpkin Spice Cake

2011-10-20T08:44:00.003-04:00

I can't imagine I didn't post this last fall...so here it is in all its pumpkin-y glory.....

Pumpkin Cake. Oh man... so delicious. And you can make a reasonable argument that its kinda good for you too. I mean... for a breakfast food and all.

I found this over at Farmgirl Fare - she has great recipes for sure. Of course I change the recipe just a little - for instance I use half a cup of applesauce and half a cup of either melted butter or lard. And I use duck eggs when I can get them...I'm a little heavy handed with the spices and light on the sugar (usually about 1 3/4cup sugar). This cake comes together in seconds.

Of course I never use a can of pumpkin - I just cook down one of the fabulous blue pumpkins I get at a local farm stand for $2. A "can of pumpkin" is 15 oz or about 1 3/4 cup of cooked pumpkin. Once cooked, pureed, and strained I put the pumpkin pulp into portioned containers in the freezer. One medium-ish sized blue pumpkin gives me enough for about 4 cakes or pies. For $2. How great is that? Someone recently told me the cooked down a pumpkin and it was "so much work!" Um.. just put it in the oven and walk away. But everyone is different.

Technically you don't have to frost this cake. But who are we kidding? Cake is generally just the vehicle for frosting, right? Ha! Anyway... we like cream cheese frosting on this cake but a quick and easy buttercream frosting is just fine. And we never have orange juice around here so I just skip that entirely and use vanilla in the cream cheese frosting.

This cake is extremely moist and so easy to make so what are you waiting for?!? Get out there and make yourself a pumpkin spice cake!

Happy Thursday everyone!

One way to harvest pears

2011-10-19T06:30:00.000-04:00

We had a pretty big windstorm blow thru the last couple of days....

....I guess that's one way to get all the pears... just let the wind blow them down.

Most of the pears blew down. They were probably about ready but I would have preferred to pick them when I was ready. We got 3 or 4 five gallon buckets full and another bucket of "bad" ones for the pigz.

So I'll work on canning the pears in the next couple of days. We have rain moving in and I'll have an inside day or two. By then the pears should be ripe. So pear sauce, pear cake, pear pie, pear tart, pear crisp.. you name it, it will all be on the menu.

And now for a gratuitous adorable puppy picture......you knew I couldn't resist.

Zander is doing great. He has a lot of Kai's behaviors which is really fun to see. He uses his paws like a cat would...and he figured out how to roll down the hill on purpose just 'cuz it's fun. Cutest. Thing. Ever. We are entirely smitten with this little pup. He still has that "new puppy" smell.

Happy Wednesday everyone! Anyone else working on canning pears?

Grrrr.....

2011-10-17T09:16:00.000-04:00

I know.. its totally self indulgent.... but here's Zander...again.

He's so cute I can't help it. More no farmin' later but would you just LOOK at this little wuggums?! We are totally smitten. I'm not sure how I'm going to get any work done today... we might just have a play day.

Zander's favorite thing is "running with the big dogs" which is even more hilarious sung to "Running with the Devil" (and yeah, younger folks, we thought we were cool back then).

We have one nice day this week then more rain rain rain. In between snuggling the pup I'm going to try and get some cover crops planted. And I'm going to try and avoid looking in the goat yard. Dahlia "suffered an outrage" yesterday. Debbie is next. The whole thing is just gross.

Happy Monday everyone! Whatcha snugglin' today?

Zander Hannibal BoneCrusher

2011-10-14T16:46:00.000-04:00

Meet our newest recruit, Zander Hannibal BoneCrusher....

...or Mr. Wuggums until he grows into his name. Isn't he adorable?

Zander is Kai's brother, but from another litter. It was about a year ago that we brought Kai home...and now we are thrilled to have two curly tailed bear killers in the house. She thought her little brother was amazing.

There was a lot of sniffing going on...and then he kinda just passed out.

Its a lot of work being so cute.

Zander came to us like almost all our furry friends - just a lucky happenstance... or as I'd like to think, by a divine appointment. I just so happened to send the folks we got Kai from a note on her birthday telling them how much we loved her. And they just happened to have another litter of puppies....and we just happened to receive a little bit of money from heaven.... and the only pup that was available was named Zander. Which just happens to be my all time favorite dog name. And it didnt hurt that little Zander is (mostly) black and some white - just like a lot of our critters. We laughed and asked if we could see him. And then today we brought him home.

He's going to be huge. He's already bigger than Kai was at this age - and his paws are enormous. But we like 'em big so we are really excited. And we are just weak in the knees at his cuteness. Right now Dog#2 is "watching the puppy" which will be his job. Dog#1 and Kai are with The Big Man, reinforcing their alpha status. We are going to have to manage this dog pack to maintain order.. but my friend SD has been giving me a great tutorial for keeping the peace.

Zander's name is a mouthful for sure. But you ancient military history nerds already know who he's named after two of the greatest miltary leaders of all time - Alexander the Great and Hannibal (of Carthage). The "BoneCrusher" is just cool. Sure Zander is a misspelling..but thats OK because I like Z names. And no, not Hannibal Lecter of that ridiculous movie about the screaming sheep. Seriously, what could be better than the general who marched war elephants over the Alps to take on Rome? That guy had some 'hell yeah' for sure... just like our little guy is going to have one day.

But for now he's just going to be cute and we are gonna get all the puppy snuggles we can. Welcome to the team, Zander, we're sure glad you're here!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Chicks and leaves

2011-10-13T15:12:00.001-04:00

These dark and rainy fall mornings are a drag. Its hard to get going when its so dreary out. But these little guys love to run right out there. They blend in with the leaves, dontcha think?

These are a few of the clutch of chicks known as The Mob. This group of ill-hatched chicks has the most interesting collection of colors and patterns you've ever seen. They are starting to get big enough to sort themselves out into factions and different groups. Some of the roosters are starting to emerge as leaders - and some are volunteering for our next Rooster Day. Mr. H, that brown and white speckled roo in the front of this pic is your guy. His fate is yet undetermined... and he might just turn out to be a hen!

Remember Little Baldy? She, I'm hoping she's a hen, is doing great. You can see her in the first picture - she's the lovely all brown hen with the dark necklace. And just the other day I found Ginny's chick in the tumble of chicks. She's a beauty for sure but I couldn't snap a picture of her this morning. She's one of the groups that head directly for the tall grass to look for bugs.

In other news, that plink plink plink you hear in the background is my apple butter sealing. I'm also working on cooking down some pumpkins and finally...some pear sauce. And bread. And I have to find something to make for supper. And that's my timer so I have to go....

Hope everyone is having a great Thursday! Whatcha canning today?

Full Moon of the Crazy Goats

2011-10-12T09:40:00.000-04:00

Nutbags. Loons. Crackpots. Is everyone glad that the Full Moon of the Batsh*t Crazy Goats is over?

My golly. Its been a wild out there in the barnyard. I don't believe in astrology but I do believe that natural forces can affect behavior. You'll know this to be true if you have animals, children, or work with the general public. I tend to remind my city friends that they might want to wait a day or two around a full moon before they quit their jobs, repaint the living room in hot pink, or radically change their hair.

We've noticed that our barnyard gets more lively in weird ways around the full moons - especially when it coincides with the change of seasons. Any poultry setting on nests tend to hatch during or around the full moon and we also know there is more predator activity.

The introduction of Too Short has thrown an already lively group into fits for sure. And all the lady goats are trying to kill each other. Debbie especially has been on a tear lately. During the last full moon she was in rare form. My normally placid, well behaved doe was out of her damn mind.

All y'all know that I'm not a goat snuggler. Or a goat smoocher. In fact I don't spend a lot of time with the goats and I only really require a few things from them:

1. Milk. A lot of milk. And for the goat to stand there quietly when the milking is happening. I'll give them whatever snacks they want - just stand there and lets get the milking over with quickly. And that goat had better fill the bucket.

2. Come when I call you - which is almost always when its time to milk or, on occasion, for some special snacks.

3. Be QUIET. I don't have the time or patience for loud obnoxious goats. Which is why I like the La Manchas and probably will never have a Nubian despite the fact they fulfill Goat Requirement #1 very well.

But the Full Moon of the Batsh*t Crazy Goats sent poor Debbie into a tail spin for sure. And there was me - out there working on the evening chores alone. Debbie had let the lunacy take hold and we were in for a bumpy ride. She started working on my last, frayed, good nerve as soon as I saw she didn't have any milk. Dahlia had been milk stealin'. But I needed to empty Debbie out and made sure she got some grain. So I called her.

She did not come to me.

Just so's ya know... "not coming when I call you" - for dogs and goats - is a pretty bad offense. In fact, the dogs know that if they dont come to me by the time I've called 3 times... or heaven forbid, I have to go and get my shoes on to go find them... they'd better run FROM me.

Debbie stood there giving me that smarmy look. Not coming to me. OK. So I picked up the leash and went after her. She ran, tossed her heard, and thought she was something else.

A moment later I was hot stepping that goat directly to the milkstand at a fast pace. Debbie was on a short leash and had a slightly wild eyed look.

Then... THEN.... she wouldnt get up on the stand. And Debbie was stomping all around! Right by all my little ducklings, my sweet little duck momma, AND one of my setting hens! I thought that goat was gonna stomp on my hen! So I growled at her to "Get on that stand or I will end you right now."

She got on the stand.

There was a slight wrestling match over whether she was or was not going to put her head in the stanchion. It turned out she was. But she stood there defiantly, snorting and not eating.

"I dont care if you eat or not, missy," I told her.

She didnt.

Then when we were done she pretty much she ran right back to the gate, and once inside the yard she did that crazy bucking, twisting, flipping, and kicking up her heels thing. Fine. Whatever... but she kept it up for a while and had Nibbles on the run.

Helpfully I called, "Run, Nibbles, Run!" And then I went on about my business.

Normally if they ever get too rambunctious I just give them a common enemy - I bring the dog in to settle them down. But the dog was gated in on the deck so I figured I'd just let them goats work it out.

So then came the part of the show where everyone has to go into the goat house. The goats were still at it - chasing each other and running all around. I was getting the water buckets ready and then here comes Debbie, head down, ridge high... right. For. Me.

Now the last time she did this I just spread out my arms wide, puffed myself up as big as I could...and said something like, "Take a swing mutha-what-did-she-say!"...and Deb just sidled off....

But this time... She was tossing her head and kicking.... Still coming right at me. So I took evasive action.

I threw a bucket of water on her.

Debbie looked like I threw napalm on her.

“I could do this all day. Who's next?” I said glaring at them all because I did, in fact, have more buckets.

From behind me, up on the deck, I heard cheering from the dogs and Kai begging me to let her "help" with them frothy goats. As our star hunter, Kai is just waiting for the day that she can release her inner wolf and pull down one of them meat bags.. I mean.. goats. Which is why, of course, she doesn't come in the goat yard. "Paaaahhhlllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese, Momma, let me help!" Kai was practically yipping at that point. Titan, my big shepherd and right hand man, mumbled that I should have let him come in with me... which was true especially how Debbie had been acting.

Standing there dripping wet Debbie shook like a dog then looked at me again. I brandished another bucket and yelled, "You want a fresh one?"

Then there was that moment of truth where either you are or you are not in control of the situation. We stared each other down... me, Cool Hand Luke daring her to make her move... her, crazy goat unable to decide her fate .....I raised an eyebrow....

...and she turned and ran directly into the goat house.

The full moon, the change of season, and our change of weather all happened together. So who knows whats going to happen today. I'm just glad that the Moon of the BatSh*t Crazy Goats is over and we can go on with what is normal for us.

As for the breeding, so far we think that Nibbles has been bred. I locked Too Short and Dahia in the stall together last nite. So either they've killed each other or "worked it out." Debbie should come in to heat later in the week - so that will be interesting. Hopefully they will all knock off the funny business. Until then I'm going to be stepping lively and keeping the buckets, and the dog, close.

How about you? Did everyone survive the full moon?

Happy Wednesday everyone!

The Buck Stops Here or Goat Pimpin'

2011-10-10T09:14:00.000-04:00

As the most ~~immature~~... modest.... person you could ever imagine, I'd much rather butcher something then be involved in the breeding and birthing end of farming. So you can guess my feathers are a little ruffled over becoming a goat pimp.

The ladies lined up to check out the fresh meat

Saturday we drove several counties over to get Too Short from a pal who was in the same position we are with the lady goats.... we both have several dairy does who need to be bred so they can freshen next spring. However, the cost for taking several gals to a breeder is almost on par with just buying a buck. Having heard the oohing and aaahing of how cute he was and a promise that he wasn't too stinky we decided that we'd try bringing a buck here. To be sure, he's more like a buckling - that is, a young, intact male goat.

First, Too Short stepped out with Debbie

Our decision making went like this: Debbie normally would go to a professional herd for about 3 weeks or so for basically the cost of a tank of gas. We have a great relationship with a La Mancha breeder so my home canned pears were all that was required for payment instead of paying a fee (about $50 - $75). However, his prized buck died tragically and the breeder was scrambling to find a replacement. And we'd have to dry Debbie out as there is no way we could expect our friend to milk her for 3 weeks. So we always consider the loss of milk as a "con" for taking her to the breeder.

Then this Romeo chatted up Nibbles, who played hard to get for exactly 10 minutes. Hussy.

Nibbles usually would go to a prize winning, second generation mini-mancha buck about a tank of gas the other direction... and depending on her performance would either be there 3 weeks or about 30 minutes. Her fee usually ran $75 - $100 depending on how long she was going to be with that herd.

Dahlia nearly lost her mind when she saw Too Short and acted like a fool. . A good lesson for teenage girls - don't chase some boy... he won't like it. Too Short walked back to Nibbles, who batted her eyes while Dahlia got mad stomped her foot.

With just those two it made more sense not to have a buck (adding in time, energy, and stinky factor). However, Dahlia is our wild card. We've been on the fence about breeding her. Some folks think that you should wait another year to breed a doeling, but others follow the "8 months or 80 pounds" rule. So we werent sure - and our mini-mancha buck owner told us that she had never had good luck breeding a doeling.

Then my pal got a deal on a buckling.... so we figured we'd jump into the seedy underworld of goat pimping. It goes like this - Person A gets a buckling and keeps him long enough to breed her lady goats then sells him to Person B. Person B keeps him long enough to breed her lady goats then finds a ~~chump~~ willing buyer who will purchase the buck once the buck is done with his "chores" here. Of course, like all pyramid schemes at some point you run out of breeding season and someone is left holding the bag, as it were. But my pal, Bourbon Red is willing to have the buckling for a while and if he can't find a buyer then Too Short will go to the sale barn.

The ladies checked out the goods. I'm not trying to be crude with this picture - just truthful so's you know what to expect. But did you sing the song? "Do your what's hang low, do they wiggle too and fro..." *snicker*

I have to admit that Too Short is kinda cute - so some folks are asking me why we don't keep him? For the same reasons we never wanted a buck in the first place: everyone here has to work and keeping an animal full time who has one "part time job" just doesn't make sense for us.

We don't have the space or the patience to set up another living area and housing on the far side of the property for a buck. And in truth, he'd probably need a friend. So then we'd have two goats standing there doing nothing but stinkin' up the place, eating all the hay, and getting on my last good nerve. And possibly being coyote bait because they'd have to be far enough away from the dairy goats that their milk wouldn't be ruined by the buck smell. Around here "far enough away" would be pretty far away from the house and out of my line of sight so we couldn't keep them safe as we'd like.

There are plenty of bucks available around here (check your local craigslist) so we don't think there will be a shortage any time soon. However, if you are really remote, have a not-so-common breed of goat, or just have the room to house a buck separately - then go for it. My pal L is having good luck with his buck - and wow his herd is growing! However, L had to build a separate, reinforced pen for full sized buck.

I'm also not wild about having an intact male anything in the barnyard - except for the poulty. I'm not a big person so the barnyard crew will only take me so seriously. And I'm realistic about this. Sure I can make a grown man cry but if a full sized buck got sideways with me I'd be in a heap in the yard. As it is, Too Short is getting a little sporty with me. Sure he can only really ram me in the shins...but I know some folks who where hurt this way. And I really hate it when he rubs his pee-covered face on my legs. That alone seals his fate to move right along to the next barnyard.

I don't expect him to get out of line, but when he got here Too Short learned the rules:

1. There's the hard way and my way.
2. My way is the easy way.
3. That dog aint lickin' you friend, he's tastin' you.

Its been a little crazy out there in the barnyard anyway with the full moon coming on, the ladies all having the vapors, and now them all showing off for the new man. So when none of the goats wanted to go into the goat house last nite I just went and got the dog. Bringing Dog#1 into the goat yard usually sends the ladies running for their house. Too Short thought he'd test my limits and lallygagged. But it didn't take long for Too Short to realize that dog wasn't his friend and to run headlong for the shed and hide behind Nibbles. Good dog.

So far we think that Too Short has had his way with Nibbles. Pretty soon Dahlia and Debbie will come into heat and then we'll see how that goes. You may be thinking to yourself, how's THAT gonna work? You can see from the pictures that Debbie is pretty tall and Too Short is.. well.. short. Apparently they are gonna work it out.

Or

Yours truly will be out there holding Debbie still in front of a hay bale where Too Short will be able to climb up and.. um... er... golly..... "cover" her. If that happens I will have to hide under my kitchen table and wear a bag over my head for possibly weeks. I'm hoping they will just work it out. And no, in my whole life I never thought this could possibly be on my agenda. I'm just not suited for this at all. In fact yesterday watching Nibbles and Too Short go at it - disgusted, I turned on my heel, threw down my bucket, and told The Big Man that there was no way I was milking Nibbles after THOSE goings on. I went in the house and showered in bleach.

Too Short, by the way, is named after Too Short Raul - a rapper from the 80's and 90's. If I were you I wouldn't click here for the discography... I'd just Respect the Pimpin'. That's me. Goat Pimp. For heavens sakes.

Happy Monday everyone! Now get out there and pimp that goat!

Too Short

2011-10-08T17:05:00.000-04:00

Firmly under the heading of "never say never"...... meet our new buckling.

Too Short is in the house. Let the goat pimpin' commence.

More on this later. I'm headed out to watch the shameless antics of my the "dairy ladies of ill repute."

Hope you're having a great weekend!

Crazy Ugly Momma

2011-10-07T08:57:00.002-04:00

Remember Inky and how she finally had a late season hatch? Well, look at her now....

...she's one crazy, ugly momma for sure!

Poor Inky is molting - like a lot of my hens right now. Most of them look like they've been run over by a lawn mower! The worst is my beautiful Raspberry... my little Cochin hen.

She looks like a feather duster that someone shook really hard. My beautiful french hen!

A while ago I was complaining to an old timer about some hens that were molting but he chided me and said to let them be - and that they need a break. So we aren't going to take any measures to try and stop any of it. We won't be keeping a light on in the hen house or changing their food. Most folks don't like the lack of eggs when their layers go to molt. But we'll make do.

Right now its getting dark about 7:30pm which really isn't enough daylight for full egg production. So if your ladies aren't laying like they should be - its just the change of season. But when the ladies start getting their feathers back and we get closer to loosing daylight savings we'll make sure we have eggs all winter by giving them more layer mash and leaving a light on for them.

We have two main coops - one for the layers and one for younger ones. The Mob is in there now along with the rest of this summer's chicks. In the next couple of weeks we are going to sort out some of the layers and the younger roosters for Their Special Day when they go to glory in a pot of noodles.

Most of the "keep" layers are indicated by a bracelet that means they've had a successful hatch and earned themselves a pass. But there are a few older hen who need to go. They are the unnamed rabble who either aren't great layers or who aren't broody....or are eating eggs. By next spring we'll be back up to full laying speed with the new chicks coming into their productive laying season.

In the meantime, we're working hard at getting the garden cleaned up. I took down a little patch of corn and gave it to the pigz. I'll be tilling again today - and then planting oats later on. I'm trying oats as a cover crop this year. Normally we go for winter wheat - but with our ridiculously wet spring it didnt work out so well. I couldnt get enough dry days to get it cut off and tilled under to plant the garden.

Oats will winter kill so my plan is to get them planted and hope they will grow at least a foot or so tall (if they set heads that would be even better!). Then the cold weather will kill them, they will flop over and form a kind of mulch to keep the weeds out and the soil in place. Next spring I'll be able to scrap off the gardens and have access to all that friable soil just waiting for seeds.

That's the plan anyway. Have a great Friday everyone! Whatcha workin' on today?

Blooming Buzz and that new thingy on the right

2011-10-06T10:37:00.000-04:00

Finally we have our sunny fall! Yesterday the weather broke and we are out of any danger of frost, have clear skies...and sun sun sun!

What the heck is it?

Right now this white fluffy stuff is blooming like mad. The beez cant get enough of it so I'm not even cutting it down or ripping it out. This bloomed after the ragweed started declining. Any body know what it is?

In housekeeping news - see that new gadget on the right under "About Me"? Its a new feature for me. Some folks can't access blogger at work and so here is a way to keep in touch. Get each day's post on your email. Its easy peasy to do - just enter your email and then verify the subscription by clicking on the link. This is a new feature for me so if anybody wants to give it a test - let me know how it works!

Hope everyone is outside enjoying the sunshine! I'm working on ripping out the rest of the garden and enjoying every sunny minute of it.

Happy Thursday everyone!

Pumpkin Lasagna

2011-10-05T09:32:00.000-04:00

Hold onto your hats farm food friends.... here's what should be for your dinner tonite - Pumpkin Lasagna!

I'm not even kidding. You won't believe the fall-ish deliciousness of this easy peasy dish. Grab your lasagna noodles and get cooking, here's how.

First, for real directions the closest I could find for this 'made up on the fly' meal was here check out Rachael Ray. That is about how I did it and provides more exact measurements. Normally my "experimental food" is just thrown together but this was such a hit The Big Man asked me to write down what I did so we can have this again. I short hand everything when I cook and use what I got, so sometimes I don't get the exact same results. Yikes!

First get your noodles going. I know that my pan takes 9 regular old lasagna noodles. Sure I shoulda made my own - but I didn't.

Next, dig around and find out what ground meat you have. I made sloppy joes the other day (no not from a can of Manwich!) and they just didn't have the same kinda oomph they normally do.. So I heated up the leftover meat and added more garlic. It was already tomato-y. Then I added nutmeg and cinnamon.

You have a lot of fresh and delicious milk, right? Drag that out and make a bechemel sauce like Marcella Hazen does it. I threw in a couple handfuls of mozzarella cheese (from the store) and then a big heap of our own cheese. Add an extra dash of nutmeg and several grinds of black pepper.

Take about half of the bechemel out of the pan. I think I made the sauce so there was about 2 1/2 or 3 cups total. Reserve half and then add some cooked, pureed pumpkin to the pan (you're cooking down pumpkins, right? have some in the fridge?) - probably a cup and a half so its nice and thick. Give a taste - does it taste like pumpkin love? If not add more pumpkin, salt, and a bit more nutmeg. Then walk out to the garden, get some fresh sage and add it, chopped, to the sauce.

Now layer it up:

1. Pour about half a cup of milk - or enough to cover the bottom of your already buttered baking dish.

2. Add noodles

3. Add the meat or meat sauce

4. More noodles

5. Now the pumpkin sauce and a bit more sage

6. Last layer of noodles

7. Now the plain bechemel sauce, more black pepper, bread crumbs, and finally a good shake of cheese.

Bake at 375*-ish while you shovel the masses into their coops, chase that last duckling around the truck at least twice, and get back inside just as the cheese is perfectly browned and the sauce is bubbling.

Serve with a big glass of wine and freshly made bread. Delish!

Happy Wednesday everyone! Now run right out, cook down a pumpkin and dive into fall food!

Prohibition

2011-10-04T09:34:00.000-04:00

Is everyone watching the PPS special, Prohibition by Ken Burns? Are you watching with a big glass of booze in your hand? Wow what an eye opener.

I'm not sure which was worse - that we were such a nation of boozers before... or that the constitutional amendment banning the sale and transport of alcohol actually happened. The final segment airs tonite and I"ll be glued to the TV for sure.

A couple things jumped out at me - besides the glaring hypocrisy... I thought that the temperance movement to get anti-alcohol "education" into the schools was just stunning. While some of the curriculum provided in the text books was true-ish... the flat out lies were just shocking. Makes you wonder what is being taught to kids these days...and who's agenda is being worked.

The other thing that was interesting to me was the unintended consequences of well meaning folks - the rise of organized crime, the justice system being both overwhelmed and corrupted, and the millions and millions of tax free dollars that benefited no one but the "criminals" who learned to work the system.

The best quote from last nite's segment from Winston Churchill who refused to aid the US in its fight with illegal booze coming from Canada or the Caribbean... he said something along the lines that "Prohibition was an affront to the whole history of mankind." I'd raise a glass to that for sure.

Of course it also made me think about how some folks think that their way is the only way - well meaning or not. Anybody else shake their heads when the media started talking about those poor folks who got sick from listeria from commercially grown, harvested, and distributed cantaloupes? It seemed to me that locally grown produce would not have had such a widespread reach and would have been more contained than the current outbreak which spans many states. I guess all their "best practices' that "they" know how to better than the rest of us didn't really work out the way they thought.

But heaven forbid if you wanna grow some food in your own yard. In an updated report I read that the charges had been dropped 'for now' - but its also the end of the growing season. I'm guessing that they are waiting for her to plant a few seeds next spring so that the SWAT team can swoop down and haul off this obvious criminal.

And what about all you soon-to-be criminals out there harboring good ol' light bulbs.... the electric police may be gunning for you soon. Hopefully you won't be billed for a broken bulb when the EPA has to come out and sweep up the mercury. Or get a headache from the CFL's like I do... but the real tragedy was the folks who lost their jobs here in the States when the manufacturing plants went dark. Guess who still makes those good old bulbs? Right. China.

Of course you know my feelings on the Gestapo-type tactics that your government is using on farmers who are selling the most dreaded of all contraband... raw milk. While I can kinda get that raw milk on a large scale could be unwieldy... that you don't have the right to consume milk from your own cow on your own land? That just ain't right.

To me it sounds like the New Prohibition is on food.

Ecclesiastes rightly says that "there is nothing new under the sun" (Ecc 1:9) and looking back at Prohibition and looking just over the horizon at the coming "food prohibition".... I think that old Solomon was right.

Get out there and get those gates and fences up, Farm Pirates... next they'll be coming in and hauling off the goats and the chickens and handing us food stamps for our government approved "food."

The Summer of My Dryer Discontent

2011-10-03T11:23:00.001-04:00

You have no idea how happy I am that the summer of my dryer discontent is now OVER. Sheesh!

A few days ago we took a drive into the hinterlands and picked up a new-to-us dryer. For $30. Around here $30 buys you a lot of love.

We've been dryer-less since the end of May and I tell you the truth - I've hated every single second. My friend, Eliza, asked me why she didn't know about my angst... but really, I've tried very hard not to complain. But now that we have an old workhorse of a dryer downstairs happily fluffing my underpants... I'll tell you all about it.

I hate when appliances don't work so when our good old dryer finally went belly up it was a total shock. I assume some kind of appliance fairy is gonna show up and fix it. But that never happens so I usually take matters into my own hands - generally by throwing the old appliance out in the yard. I'm not even kidding. One time my husband drove in to see an ill-behaved dishwasher in the front yard - on its side with all its guts hanging out. He took one look at the murderous glare in my eye and two days later victoriously drove home with a new dishwasher strapped to the back of the truck. Happy wife, happy life - ain't that right.

Unfortunately the dryer situation didn't work out so smoothly. We really weren't in the right place to run right out and buy a new one, and we didn't have any luck with craigslist....apparently folks won't split up a washer/dryer set. And I was momentarily brainwashed by the soft cooings of dryer-less fanatics who swore I'd "never go back" once I starting hanging my unmentionables out in the yard for all the world to see.

There's about a million reasons why I don't like to line dry laundry - most of them are logistical. First, I'm short - so the line has to be pretty darn low. But then the sheets hang pretty close to the ground...and when you have all these large male dogs who pee on anything new. Well, you can do the math on that one.

Next, I'm allergic to everything so having all my clothes out there doing nothing but flappin' in the breeze and catching all the pollen... well.. doesn't really help anyone but the folks who make Claritin.

Then, no matter what I had to walk up a set of stairs to get outside to that stupid clothesline. Carrying an unwieldy laundry basket was just awkward. And then there's all the tripping over cats inside...and chickens outside. By the time I got to the stupid clothesline I was battered and bruised and half the clothes needed to be washed again.

Not to mention that I could really one do about one load of clothes a day - this summer was so wet that everything took forever to dry. So unless I started really early a weeks worth of laundry took a week to do, instead of a day.

But now... now the sweet sound of the dryer going round is taking the edge off my appliance rage. And I don't even care that I'm wasting all that electricity. My goal is to use up all the electric in the county today - in fact, I'm pretty sure the president of our co-op is gonna roll up in his limo and shake my hand for increasing demand and sending prices sky high.

That's right fellow Farm Pirates, I'm perfectly happy to raise our own food and live by the "use it up, make do or do without" motto.... but dontcha try and get me to give my up dryer. Ain't no way, no how I'm doing this again. Now if you excuse me I'm gonna get my third load of laundry going today. I should be caught up on a summer's worth of wash by this afternoon.

Happy Monday everyone! Anybody else got clothesline rage?

The Week in Pictures

2011-09-30T06:30:00.000-04:00

Actually its more like the last couple days in pictures.....

We've had some sunny days - finally - and so I've been working outside and soaking up the last of the sunshine. The pigz are looking great!

We'll have one cold nite this weekend and maybe even a frost! So I'll be taking up the tomatoes that are just about ripe and covering up the ones that will be happy for the warmer days next week.

And you can bet I'll be working on a lot of pears....

But at least for now the last of the dahlias will wink at the afternoon sun.

Happy Friday everyone!

Worth repeating... and everyone needs a catalog!

2011-09-28T09:33:00.004-04:00

I had this as a note on yesterday's post but its worth repeating, has everyone seen The Gardener of Eden's post about the historic Landreth Seed Company?

Who doesn't need more garden porn?

I ordered a catalog and some seeds yesterday. The catalog is $5 and shipping is about $5 so might as well check out their amazing old timey seed collection and get a jump on next year's seed stash. Click here to see the news story then run right over and spend a couple dollars.

You can also check out their Facebook page here and then read a detailed article here about how this all happened. I was really encouraged to see that they are increasing their sales, despite all this legal gobbledygook.

In this economy you have to hand it to a gal who took on the challenge of trying to resurrect the oldest seed business in the country and who had the gumption to make a profit. I can't speak for all this hubbub but who doesn't need a beautiful catalog? Need more of a reason? Its printed here in the States. Your order will keep a few more people working. And if you tell your friends, and they tell their friends - she might just pull this off. There's only a couple days left and if the only thing you get is a catalog and a package of seeds. Still worth a shot, right?

Now get out there, start cleaning up your garden and start planning where you're going to plant a few seeds from Landreth next year.

Happy Wednesday everyone! And THANKS to Robin at The Gardener of Eden who posted about this yesterday! And special thanks to my pal L in AZ who already let me know that he placed his order!

And... to Mr. H who placed his order
And Kristen who placed her order - WOW have you seen her blog?!?
And Vicki - yay!
And Sonja - great work!
And Mary Ann who has beautiful pix on her blog - and thanks for reminding me about the Japanese Rednect - that gal is great!
And Little Rooster Croft! And you should check out her rant from today...

Great work everyone!

The Gray Shades

2011-09-27T08:34:00.000-04:00

My assassins, The Gray Shades, have been about their work. Lately these Bringers of Death have unleashed their terrible power on slow moving field mice who have dared to enter their realm.

Don't let this lazy demeanor fool you - Nicholas is death on four paws.

You can sure tell that fall is falling fast - the mice are beating a path directly for the house. Luckily for us, our house and barn cats are on the job. Two days ago Shine's fury was unleashed on a furry little monster attempting to infiltrate the home base.

Can you believe a mouse was sitting around on the front porch? He was eyeballin' me so I called Shine. Who, of course, ignored me. So I stomped downstairs and demanded that The Big Man "do something." He lumbered upstairs, called Shine exactly once, and 30 seconds later Shine stalked off with the mouse hanging out of his mouth. Good boy, Shine!

Come on, mouse, make my day.

Then yesterday Nicholas had staked out a far back corner in the kitchen. And waited. And waited. And waited some more. And then light gray lightening he struck and had the terrible beast in his mouth. I tell you the truth, I didn't win me any friends when I ran shrieking into the bedroom demanding that The Big Man get up RIGHT NOW and "do something."

There were a few moments of chaos but you gotta hand it to that mouse. He survived not two but three pounces by an 18 pound cat, a good stomping by Kai, and then lept to his death off the upper deck. And then ran away. Clearly that was one of the Special Forces type mice that were sent to scout the location for the rest of the troops. I hope the chickens get him.

I'm hoping all the rodent activity isn't foretelling an early or especially hard winter. But if the mice escape Shine's Reign of Death outside....and make their way inside they will be met by Paws of Fury for sure.

What about you - are you seeing more mice than usual? Are your house and barncats on the job?

Happy Tuesday everyone!

=========================

UPDATE:

Has everyone seen The Gardener of Eden's post today about the historic Landreth Seed Company? I ordered a catalog and some seeds. Click here to see the news story then run right over and spend a couple dollars.

Chickens: The Bumblefoot Surgery

2011-09-26T06:30:00.000-04:00

Since my post on chicken fat failed to provide the much anticipated shrieking and horror I was expecting, I figure you are all farm enough for the next layer of grossness. Ready? But first a picture of one fine looking young rooster......

OK we should be low enough on the page to really talk turkey. Actually we are talking chickens today - more specifically, what to do when you hen has the bumblefoot. But first the disclaimers:

Look away tender victuals! We're going to talk about super-gross things! Your very eyes may melt by just reading whats coming up! Don't read this if you are eating breakfast - especially if its scrambled eggs. No really! I'm even ooked out by this and I like gutting chickens! And most importantly, I am not a vet. I don't play a vet on TV. I never wanted to be a vet. I am not diagnosing your chicken now or ever. If you chicken is sick, call your vet. Got it? OK let's move on.

Anybody still with me?

A week or so ago I noticed one of the unnamed rabble - a nice plump mostly black hen - had a weird bump on her foot. I could even see it without bending down or picking her up. It was a bulge between her toes on the top of her foot. Drat. It looked like she had the bumblefoot on her.

What's bumblefoot - besides being one of the funnest words ever? Its a kind of infection that poultry get in their feet. Usually because they get a little splinter or a thorn or something stuck in their foot, and it festers, and then it gets out of hand. More than likely if your hen has a big black spot on the fleshy part of the bottom of her foot - thats what it is - bumblefoot. There's probably a fancy name for this kind of staph infection but I don't know what is it.

This hen had it on the top of her foot. The only reason I could identify it was because we had another hen a couple years ago with the same problem - but also she had then tell tale black dot on the bottom of her foot. We had to treat both spots - so I knew what this hen had immediately.

What do you do? A couple options:

1. Nothing. Your hen may get over it. But probably not and she'll spread the infection to the others and maybe to you .....and then your hen might get really sick and flop over dead. Not a great choice.

2. Take your chicken to the vet and hand over all your folding money to someone who may or may not just wonder why in the sam hell you wouldn't just send that chicken to the pot. They'll probably charge you about a million dollars and drive off in their new sports car laughing. If that's your choice that's just fine with me. No judgments here. But I knew someone who spent $1200 to get a laying hen a surgery that was basically a hysterectomy. I'm not even lying. You can bet I judged her to be a fool. But everyone is different.

3. Go find yourself a big round pair of you-know-whats and do it yourself.

I have to tell you friends, you know I'm pretty stout. But it takes me about 3 days of beating my chest, dancing around a fire to summon the courage of my ancestors, and repeating to myself "IcandoallthingsthroughChristwhostrengthensme" about a thousand times before I can march out there, scoop up that hen and get down to business.

I don't have pictures of the actual event, mostly because a bunch of shots of me puking probably aren't that helpful, so hands down the best reference I have for treating bumblefoot is right here. Generally I'm not a fan of BYC but there's some good eggs there and this gal is one of them.

We set up the bathroom as a surgical center and laid out all of our supplies. Then we marched out there, scooped up the hen, and got down to business. The most important thing you can do is wrap your hen in a towel so her head is covered up. The Big Man held her in his arms with her bad foot sticking out of the towel while I worked on her.

The next most important thing is to wear gloves. For heavens sakes don't take a chance and get the infection yourself. And disinfect everything when you are done - use lots of bleach to really get everything clean. And make sure you have separate medical implements for your vet care. We never know what is going to happen around here so we have a pretty good surgical/first aid kit. We also always have rubbing alcohol, hydrogen peroxide, and tons of and vet wrap and bandages of all kinds. And lots and lots of Neosporin.

This is what you're going for - the infected mass that needs to be removed. Gross. The only reason I'm showing this pic is so you know what it looks like. Sometimes you can get the whole thing to come out in one piece but I couldn't this time. See that there is some blood but much less than you'd expect.

When the deed was done and her foot was firmly packed with Neosporin, gauze, and wrapping we took her out of the towel and there she was - none the worse for wear. Did it hurt her? Nope. How do I know? Because she didn't squawk or flap or scream or try to get away. If I did this to you I imagine you'd do all of those things - and take a swing at me. In two days you won't even be able to tell anything happened to that little hen. Until then she is in solitary in a cage and covered to keep her calm. Chickens really are amazing creatures.

Altho gross this is not a cruel procedure and is much better than the alternatives of her dying from the infection or ending up on the block and then in a shallow grave. The hen we fixed up before has lived a good long 3 years (so far) and has never missed a beat. We're sure this plump little black hen will make a full recovery and get back to business soon.

I'm guessing all y'all will be out there looking at your hens feet today, wontcha? Well, what are you waiting for - run right out there and inspect the poulty's feet.

Happy Monday everyone!

Fall Sunflowers, last of the green maters, and pears

2011-09-25T08:14:00.000-04:00

Is everyone loving fall? Can you even believe that September is almost over?

These late planted sunflowers are really showing off their autumn colors.....

and I have a few tomatoes that are trying to ripen....

and we're just waiting for the pears to be ready.

We are taking a break from the canning today to work on some clearing. The pigz have done such a great job in their original yard we are going to take down some of the scrub trees. And also take some time to cut up some of the downed trees from last year. We're starting to get our wood pile for winter built up. I can't even believe it. Today is going to be beautiful tho, so we're going to be soaking up all the sunshine.

Have a great day, everyone! Now get out there and enjoy the fall sunshine!

The New Kid

2011-09-23T00:01:00.000-04:00

Under the category of "What's one more...." Meet the new kid, this is Scruff!

Isn't she a pip? And yep, she's really that small. Just 7 pounds fully grown. The Good Vet thinks she's 8 months to a year old. And she's already had a litter of kittens. At this point I'd like to make a happy story about how we got her.

But the hard truth is that we got her because someone threw her away. In a dumpster.

We're pretty sure she was living in there - near where my husband works for about a month. He fished her out of the dumpster and brought her home about a week ago. Some folks said they saw some kids with her - trying to give her away. I guess they just left her there.

I'm not sure what kind of person - a parent no less - would send their kids out to "give that cat away." But I'm pretty sure its the same kind of people who threw a declawed, toothless, older cat out on a cold nite. That's how we got Teddi Gumpkins. Based on how starved she was we think Teddi was out on her own for at least a month.

I gotta tell you, there are some hard things in this world and there is a lot of cruelty. But we just don't understand how people can actually throw away their companion animals. Someone asked me, not in so many words, why we have all these cats. The reason is simple - because some threw them away.

We only ever went out and got 3 cats on purpose...but those were throw aways too. My two old ladies were adopted from animal control...and we intentionally got Pepper. But she was from a throw away momma and was lucky enough to end up at our Vet's office. Aside from that - all of these cats found us. One from a parking lot, one from a corn field, and one was abandoned by her momma when mean dogs chased her off her nest...it goes on and on. All of them have hard luck stories which ended with "...and they lived happily ever after" because they came to be with us.

We never could find Scruff's kittens but we're pretty sure the people kept the kittens and threw her away. The day after she came home we took her to a local vet and had her tested for all the communicable cat diseases. She passed with flying colors - got her shots, and showed her thanks by pooping all me on the way home. Our Good Vet fixed her 4 days later and said all in all, she looked pretty good.

We're working on integrating her with The Insane Cat Posse - its slow going tho, she's really shy and I'm not sure she's been around cats before. But she's got a huge crush on The Big Man and is a good snuggler. My friend SD wrote a beautiful tribute about how guardian cat angels put Scruff somewhere that my husband could find her - someone was looking out for her, for sure.

And because we just can't get normal cats to show up around here.... here's a fun fact about little Scruff. She has an extra set of nipples. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. Of course, with our sense of humor we almost named her after her most interesting physical characteristic. - but we couldn't get over that one day I'd have to call the vet and tell them that they "really need to see our Nipples." You can't take us anywhere.

That's the word here. If you are brave enough - and have enough farm in you - go ahead and check out the late nite post from yesterday. But only look if you dare....there's chicken guts and everything.

Happy Friday everyone!

Holy Chicken Fat! All from one big meat!

2011-09-22T21:39:00.001-04:00

Wow what a day we had yesterday! I'm intentionally posting at night. I have some hard core farmy stuff to talk about - and at the stroke of midnite I'll post an adorable kitten picture so folks who read in the morning don't puke on their keyboards. Or drop their phones at the horror of it all.

But first a cute picture of our Nicholas - look at those paws! Last nite he brought me a mouse from under the sink. Thanks Nicholas!

OK by now you should be reading 'below the fold on your computer screen. Now is your opportunity to opt out and tune in later for an adorable kitten picture. Last chance.. tender victuals don't read any further! We're gonna talk about chicken guts! And show pictures! You know I only tell you the truth about farming! Who's with me!?!? Come on Farm Pirates! Who dares to look?

So. What a day yesterday! The rain held off (thank heaven) so we ran right out and whacked the last 2 remaining creepy meats. You'll note its TWO, not three, left over meat chickens from the batch we had earlier in the summer Just two - the third one flopped over dead the other nite. And I mean flopped.

The dog and I heard a terrible flapping in the hen house so we ran right over thinking that marauding wombats or what not got in there... nope.. that 3rd meat went down. Hard. It was horrible. We saw the whole thing. Me and the dog stood there clutching each other and screaming. Then it was over and that huge meat lay there in a heap, belly up. Dead of a heart attack. How awful is that? It just got too big.

Normally at this point I would go and get my husband and tell him to 'get the gloves.' But I have evening chores alone these days. I could have sent the dog in but I'm pretty sure he'd just help himself to the dead meat. So I had to do it. I'm not even kidding - I could barely lift the thing.

What a waste! We were supposed to dress the last of the meats a couple weeks ago but you know how that goes. So we didn't get around to it. Drat!

So anyway. Then there were two.

But what a haul! Not only is there a ton of meat from them - but we got so much fat from the biggest of the two creepy meats you cant even believe it. I was slack jawed and buggy eyed - actually I was in chicken fat heaven. I'll probably get several CUPS of rendered fat - from just those two meats!

What do I do with the fat? Are you kidding? What don't I do... right now I love using it to fry stuff up. Recoiling from the idea because of all you've heard about fat? Ha - throw everything you've learned about nutrition directly in the trash. Head over to the Weston A Price foundation for a tutorial, or check out Cheeseslave, or go and read Nourishing Traditions. Not your thing? That's fine too.

Each side of those livers were as big as my palm - and just look at all that fat from ONE chicken!!

The biggest meat chicken is as large as a small dressed turkey - its just amazing. That bird was so big it was.. it was... a... guargantu-HEN! And the livers! The livers were as big as my palm. Honestly I was amazed.

But here's what I really want to show you. We normally don't dress mature hens - our layers are too valuable to just send to the pot... and the creepy meats aren't usually mature when we send them to glory. So imagine my surprise when I found these:

They are EGGS! That's right developing eggs - and some of them were pretty big! As far as I could tell she was not laying yet - but she might have. Can you believe it? I'd heard of this - and some of the old timers say to cook these unlaid eggs with noodles. But I was so amazed that I had to share. I think its a good thing to be aware of, especially if you are new to the home butchering game. I'm telling you, I learn something new every day.

Last nite I made a chicken liver and rosemary tomato pasta sauce - and one liver from the smallest of the two was too much for me to eat in one sitting. Those meats are creepy for sure but wow you get a lot of bang for your buck. Provided they don't flop over dead.

If you've read this far you deserve a tall cold one. Or maybe you should just go directly to shots of vodka. That's OK too.

Tune in soon and we'll have a picture of an adorable kitten to take your mind of the chicken guts.