Ohiofarmgirl's Adventures in The Good Land is largely a fish out of water tale about how I eventually found my footing on a small farm in an Amish town. We are a mostly organic, somewhat self sufficient, sustainable farm in Ohio. There's action and adventure and I'll always tell you the truth about farming.


Saturday, October 22, 2011

That just ain't fittin'

With deep regret I must inform you of the barnyard goings on. I'm doing this as part of my record keeping and not to shock or horrify you.  But first, gentle reader, to prepare you for the terrible account ....I present the last rose of summer:

Summer's last rose... true, noble, just, pure, and lovely.

Choose, if you must, to continue reading. But be warned. Your brain my just explode. Mine almost did. Ready?

It started Thursday nite. There I was, innocently, walking out to the goat yard to get Debbie for evening milking. The dog was at my side. As we approached the gate we saw...we saw... we saw a sight of such debauchery, a scene so horrible, so shocking....that I tell you the truth. I dropped my bucket and ran. There was no way I was milkin' that. No way. That just ain't fittin' at all.

I believe I'm now mentally scarred from what I saw and very possibly need therapy. A lot of therapy.  And certainly what was happening out there is forbidden by Leviticus and common decency.

I refuse to detail the horrid events of that evening so as not to inflict upon you the same mental strain that I am now laboring under... but I will reveal that the buckling, Too Short, has now been renamed by someone wiser than me as.... "Just Tall Enough."

I say no more on this and will now spend the remainder of the weekend in prayer and mediation. Focusing on what is true, noble, just, pure, and lovely.

Based on the events of the last couple weeks I have determined that this buckling project gets and F-.

Sure. I believe the buckling has been.. um.. effective. And he's kinda cute. However, I just am not cut out for these kinds of shenanigans. At all. Not even remotely. So Too Short.. or rather.. Just Tall Enough... has his tickets booked and his bags packed. He'll be departing these humble shores for a farm far....far...away.  Smell ya later, pal.

That is all.

10 comments:

Gingerbreadshouse7 said...

Ha ha ROTFL that was just a big tease! getting an old lady excited like that :o) Birds do it Bees do it even goats short in the knees do it , They fall in love :o)

JeffJustJeff said...

Oh, shoot. I needed that. I'm crying LOL. So long Just Tall Enough. And on that note, I'm going to pick up my two girls that completed their shenanigans far, far away ;-)

kcsunshine said...

Funny, funny! Just Tall Enough - fitting name for such a studdly buck!

Mary Ann said...

I LIKED Too Short! Glad he got the job done!

villager said...

I had a neighbor once who kept some miniature horses for the grandkids to ride. They kept the male and female separate, but one time I saw the male, um, horsing around with the female THRU the fence! He was half the size of the female but he got the job done right because she foaled on Memorial Day. They called the youngun Miss Holiday. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes.

I guess we should never underestimate any critter!

Samantha said...

Pardon me, but..
BWAHAHAHAHA!

Nature has no decency, does it?

Autumn said...

*ahem* So, uh... how's the weather? ;)

Ohiofarmgirl said...

Ginny I have to say - you are good for my soul. Thanks so much for the laugh! "even goats short on knees".. love it!

J - you have no idea what you're getting into. they dont even show stuff like that on cable. dont ask me how i know.

KC - he's cute.. but stanky for sure.

Mary Ann - yes he did. with vigor and LOTS and LOTS of enthusiasm...

Villager - yep. that is a good reason NOT to house your bucks next to your ladies. they dont need to get over no stinkin' fence! ha!

Samantha.. it just aint right.
;-)

thank you for asking, Autumn... it frosted last nite.

Sonja said...

Hi, I have been lurking here and at sufficient self for months. I gotta say I repeated your post to my husband and we nearly fell off the couches laughing. We are eventually going to have a farm of our own, it's kind of nice to realize the shenanigans we will have coming, lol.

Chai Chai said...

Since you are going to be in lots of milk this Spring you may be interested in this:

http://midlifefarmwife.blogspot.com/2011/10/raw-milk-advertising-in-illinois-day-4_9134.html

Right up your alley.

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