And now for something completely different...

*OFG walks out onto a darkened stage illuminated by a single spotlight. You can tell it's her because she's wearing work boots, a dirty shirt, and has a bad ponytail. Instead of a Life is Good hat, she has a duck on her head... and she is carrying a bowl of pudding. Little Mo hurries out to the stage and adjusts the microphone stand. OFG takes center stage.*

Yeah so, there I was yesterday... happy. I was about to tell everyone what a great time I had driving into town after being stuck under a Snow Emergency Level 1 and 2 all weekend. Just as I was trying to log into 'the facebook' I found out that my account was blocked.

*The crowd gasps*

I know. Can you believe it? 

*OFG takes the duck off her head and sets it down in a little box on the stage. The duck hen shuffles around happily to find a good spot in the nest. *

So I've been trying to figure out what to do and how to resurrect that account. It's touchy business. Apparently someone got a bee in their bonnet because I was using a "pen name" and not a real enough name. What's the big whoop? Honestly I do not know. But someone reported it and now I'm stuck.

I guess I posted just one too many pictures and videos of Lil Bub and that was just too much for someone with too much time on their hands. I might know who did it. If it was you then.... whatever. I've had way more important people be way more petty to me. This is my reaction to your feeble attempt to ruin my day. 

Maybe it was just some well meaning soul who had too much righteous indignation. Who knows.

Anyway.

I don't want to be "that guy"... but I think I need build a facebook business page. One of the categories that I can use is "blogger" and hopefully that will be good enough for everyone who's jot and tittles were in a twist.  You can find the new page here. It would be great if you "liked" it so I can get the conversation going again. I know you all want to know what kind of pudding I made.  *OFG holds up the bowl of pudding-y delight.*

The only thing is that it makes it kind of wonky for me to comment on friend's pages - so I'm trying to work that out.

That's the long and short of it. Let's go ahead and take some questions...

*Someone in the audience stands up* "OFG! Why... I mean.. what's this all about? Why does anyone care if you are using a pen name?"

Well, it's a sticky wicket. Mostly, tho, I think it's about money. You can read this lively and er... um... colorful... account of what happened when some performers used their stage names for their facebook ID's. 

But what that article doesn't really highlight is why some people may want to use a different name. Not because they are trying to pull something over on the rest of the users...but you can imagine that teachers or police officers - and their families -  could be at risk of certain people wanted to target them.  Or just regular people who may find themselves in harms way if ...for instance.... their stalker wanted to track them down. Who would begrudge these folks if they didn't want to use their full name?

I'm not sure why this is such a big concern for the few people that it might fall into these categories. I have an idea that 'the facebook' bigwigs would take an entirely different view of it if it was their daughter, son, brother, or sister was trying to be anonymous for a reason.

One option, of course, is just not to use it... and who knows, maybe I'll have to learn to tweet or something. I might end up with a smart phone and then I'd be all Instagraming and regramming and would be so over the facebook that they could take their rigid and stupid rules and screw right on off. Who knows? 

Next question - you there?

* A feisty redhead holding a chiweenie service dog stands up and take the mic....*
"Uh... so what is your story, OFG? Why are you using a pen name for 'the facebook'?"

Why wouldn't I? Remember that I set up this ID years ago - when I left that unnamed forum. Everyone knew me - and knows me - as OFG. Facebook went public after that - and so you can draw your own conclusions. Before they were trying to get users... now they are trying to make money from them.

Aside from my obsession with police K9's and Military Working Dogs - I only use the facebook as a way to chittychat with my friends from my blog. So... that's what it was. Would any of my friends know who I was if I showed up as Brunhilda Goosenstein? *shrugs*

And since you asked, I don't have contact with most of the people from my former life on purpose. Not all of my stories are hilarious - and the reason I'm not visible to everyone in my past is one of them.

But my big concern with all of this is that I might not be able to find all my pals. So I'll be trying to find a way to track everyone down. But mostly my friends are your friends... so if you could put the word out to check out this new page and "like" it then at least I could start finding everyone.

OK - last question? Please - there you go.

* A man who looks remarkably like Clark Kent stands up, he's wearing a press badge from Entertainment Landfill.* OFG, I think the big question we are all wondering is... why the duck?

Oh, her? It's just funnier to walk out on stage with a duck on your head.

So that's the story. I want to thank everyone who came looking for me. Really, from the bottom of my heart I appreciate it so much. And a special thank you to the folks who helped me get this worked out. I missed everyone very much. I'm hoping we can get this all worked out in the next day or two and just laugh about it later.

Onward and upwards, right?