Ohiofarmgirl's Adventures in The Good Land is largely a fish out of water tale about how I eventually found my footing on a small farm in an Amish town. We are a mostly organic, somewhat self sufficient, sustainable farm in Ohio. There's action and adventure and I'll always tell you the truth about farming.


Monday, June 6, 2016

Thoughts on becoming entirely goat-less.

I'm having thoughts of becoming entirely goat-less. You'll remember that I took a load of useless and annoying goats up to the auction last fall. 

 Betrayed looks by Debbie. Yeah I staked her to a post.

It turned out better than I expected. I didn't feel (that) bad and I got a pretty good price for them. I also ended up not being annoyed by them all winter... and the Turkey House was not destroyed.

Nibbles half heartedly eating one leaf.

We kept Nibbles and Debbie because they are good grazers and we felt that after all their years of service that we'd just retire them to a quiet life here and everything would be just fine.

Yeah.. no. It's not really working out.

In addition to the five things I don't like about goats it turns out that retiring to a quiet country life is not really a thing for dairy goats.

But she didn't like THAT leaf... she wanted a different one.

A couple things have gone ....not entirely as expected. Such as, naturally the goats continue to cycle thru their heat cycles.... which makes them irritable, loud, and likely to fight each other.

Then we had the incident which has been come to be known as "Debbie Does Hot Doc." Which turned out to be hilarious but was certainly not funny at all when it was happening. I need to tell you about that one... it was something.

Finally, mercifully the stupid wintered ended and we got enough browse out there for the goats. So we pointed them in the direction of all that lush greenery and told them to "get out there and free range, ladies."

They just stood there all cow-eyed and confused. I grabbed a leash and let them beside still waters and to green fields. They screamed and fussed. They took one bite then turned and ran away.

Friends, I do not have the time nor the patience to stand there and watch a couple of stupid goats decide they don't want that leaf... they want THIS leaf... but only half a bite. Then they want this other leaf over there and just one solitary blade of grass.

If I tried to move away they panicked. If I tried to walk up the hill they screamed some more and ran.

"Then be hungry!" I yelled a them as they ran away.

They were.

So then Nibbles started getting out of the goat yard because every one knows that the leaves up by the house were much better than all the leaves down by the pond. We defeated her with a reconfigured, highly charged electric fence. She doesn't think it's so funny now.

I'll also point out that I wasn't staking them out by the road. This was THEIR OWN YARD that they've been in many times before. There is no danger. None.

Later I'd check on them and they'd be standing by the goat house crying because of how no one will feed them. I grabbed the leash, led them down to the yard filled with every shade of green ever seen by the human eye... one bite, two bites... me trying to skulk away..... goats screaming and running back up the hill.

There are somethings in this life that I do not have time for and pandering to annoying and picky goats is one of them. As a confirmed "goat tolerater" and not a goat-lover, my sentimentally about goats extends only to the point where they are wasting my time....and not helping with the brush clearing. We say around here that "everyone works" and if you are not then what are you doing here?

So I'm having thoughts of being entirely goat-less.

Been doing a lot of thinking around here.

Happy Monday everyone.... are you having thoughts of becoming entirely goat-less?

7 comments:

Vera said...

Goats! Know all about their shenanigans! Lester says 'never again', but if we did not have cows I would opt to have a couple of milking goats, but to have them from very young so they can be trained properly. We might then stand a chance of being to control them.
I remember one of the goats we had suddenly doing the most awful scream as Lester tried to milk her, not because she was in pain, but because she really did not want to be milked. She went toute suite into the freezer.
And the endless fighting, locking of horns, and general miserable behaviour!
Yes, I can honestly say that goats are horrors to have around and that one must have endless patience to cope with them, which, I think, you and I do not have!
Go Goatless, that is my advice!

Anonymous said...

Get a cow OFG!

You know you want to. Goats aren't the 'poor man's cow'. They're Everyman's nightmare....

Bourbon Red

Heavens Door Acres said...

"Go with the mini goats" they said, "they are a lot less work" they said. SERIOUSLY?? These smaller goats are louder, more picky on feed and grazing( they don't DO grazing) and they are intolerably LOUD! I have a future milk cow...however it will be at least 2 years before we start getting milk. So for now...*sigh* I tolerate the goats.

Unknown said...

Really OFG?? What about your farm-onomics? Goat milk feeding the flocks etc Only asking as I'm reading through all your past blogs (having found you via Liz @ EightAcres) and you seemed completely sold on having them.
And since when when have you shirked the work :) ...just sayin' ... :)

David said...

interesting as they seemed a cornerstone of the homestead, but I get it..... thinsg are evolving....

Cottontail Farm said...

I get it. I only have so much patience myself and there's no room at the inn here for individuals who are bent on being annoying. Except the freezer. Don't feel bad about your choices. Situations change and so does what works and what doesn't.

Cottontail Farm said...

That being said, I will really miss the Nibbles report. :(

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