The End.

The scene: A short, somewhat unkempt woman in a dirty shirt and a bad ponytail walked out onto a stage. A single spotlight illuminated her in the darkness. She was holding in her arms a small gray and white cat with wide green eyes and little, white Mickey Mouse paws. She stopped center stage and the cat jumped down, sat himself down at her feet, and wrapped his tail around his paws. He looked up to the woman and nodded.

“Thank you, Little Mo, and thank you all – friends – for coming. I know that yesterday's post was a shock and I wanted to tell you all what is going on.”

“First, thank you all for your well wishes and kind words. We have received some very, very bad news and are reeling from what we found out and what is going to happen.”

“I spent the whole day Friday at the OSU Veterinary Hospital with My Most Excellent Good Dog, Titan. It did not go well. Two extremely knowledgeable and kind doctors confirmed what my own vet told me the previous Monday. Ti has been diagnosed with the very worst kind of bone cancer, osteosarcoma. This is extremely aggressive and fast moving. They said by the time it presents like this it is already too late.”

“There is no treatment and there is no cure. The only thing we can do is treat his pain until it becomes unmanageable. This will be Titan's end. The doctors there said that he has “a few weeks” until it becomes unmanageable. We reviewed all of the options and the hard truth is, there are no options but pain management.”

“When you get a puppy, folks tell you that large dogs - especially some breeds - don't live very long....and you think, 'Well, ten years is a pretty long life.' But then the time passes very quickly and then before you know it you are told that your most beloved good dog will not live to see his eleventh birthday. It has been a terrible shock.”

“For now Titan is OK. But I am not. He has the right meds so that is helpful but his decline has already been sharp and steep. He, of course, has no idea what is going on other than I am extremely upset, I keep giving him treats, and he can't play ball like we normally do. He is also sick of my hovering around and giving him worried looks. The rest of the pack is on edge so we are trying very hard to have a normal routine and have regular days.”

“So why did I write that story if Ti is still with us? Because this is the final post of Adventures in the Good Land. My blog will end today.”

“I think it's weird when people just stop blogging so I feel like I owe you all at least an explanation and a proper goodbye. With everything going on with Ti, I honestly cannot think about anything else right now.”

“I also wanted Ti to be remembered as I see him, as a hero on our 'battlefield' - the both of us slaying foes and doing the best we can for the farm. I wanted him to be remembered in all his glory and valor. I wanted to have that picture of him to carry with me....and not as him dying in my arms as we lovingly send him to his final rest. I wanted you all to know him how I see him and I wanted you all to know that he is going on ahead of me. I wanted you to know how he changed me as a person and how much he changed my life.”

“Even tho I spend so much time talking about the details of our days, in real life I am an intensely private person. Most of you will not even know when Ti passes. So I wanted to give him one last glorious tribute because I don't think I can do it after he is gone. So that is why I wrote the story now, while he is still at my feet.”

“Yesterday was the first day that felt like fall here. It feels like the turning of the page and it feels like the right time to end my blog of our life here. I started this blog as our own record keeping... but then it turned into me teaching folks about farming. We have acquired a huge body of knowledge here and I'm glad that I could share it with you.”

“In a million years I never thought anyone would read this or care about our life. But you did and I thank you most heartily for your friendship. I have loved to watch you all start projects, begin your farm, try new things...and best of all – to be able to cheer you on. My greatest satisfaction is watching you all be successful in your efforts. Thank you for letting me be part of that. I have enjoyed letting you all come along as we all figured this out together.”

“But my grief for Ti is my own and is not for others to watch. I cannot talk about it or share his decline. The most respectful thing I can do for such a proud and noble dog is leave you with the memory of him being robust and full of life.”

“Of course, there is more.”

“Earlier in the year I felt like things were beginning to change. I didn't know what it was but I felt like we had to start preparing for changes. Big changes. It felt like how it was when I was getting ready to leave my old life. I recognized that feeling and so we have been preparing ourselves.. We've been trying to figure out what is going to happen next and getting ready for that next big thing.”

“The next big thing is that we are moving. We are ending our time here at the farm, packing up some kind of Noah's Arc (not ark but arc as in “story line arc”) to transport our cats and dogs, and heading out for the Land Where They Don't Have Winter.”

“Both my husband and I had that moment last winter when we just couldn't take the snow and the cold and the ice one more second. We realized that we are not tied here for any reason. We can go anywhere and do anything...and so we are.”

“We started reaching out, started wondering, started trying to see if we could make it work... and miraculously all the points lined up. Quite unexpectedly, and entirely surprisingly.... it looks like it is all going to come together in a way that we could not have believed or planned. But it is all happening in the very best way.”

“Nothing is set in stone right now but the momentum of the thing is picking up. Unexpected turning of events, a few “just so happened”, a couple of “right places and right times” are all weaving together a new story for us...and we are eager to get going.”

“Are we giving up? Selling out? Quitting? Nope. We love our life. We just want to do it where we can enjoy the entire year and not be stuck inside cursing the snow and ice. We think that is entirely reasonable. You see, we are actually ten years into a five year plan. We thought that being here was going to be short term but we actually ended up being trapped here when the economy turned. But we adapted, pivoted, dug deep and made this work. Gladly.”

“The best thing that happened during that time was that my husband got a CDL (commercial drivers license) and now we really can go anywhere and live where ever we want. He can also drive a huge greyhound style bus that has been converted into an RV-like dog and cat ark. So that is what we are doing. Why not? There are other adventures out there and we are going to find them.”

“So why not continue the story? Document our journey and The Long Drive with an unnatural number of cats and dogs in a huge bus?”

“Because my heart is broken and I cannot carry the burden of thinking about anything else except for my beloved Good Dog. I don't know if he will make the trip with us... in all likelihood he will not. While there is a poetic beauty to knowing that he will only ever know the farm and working with me outside and leading our pack... I simply cannot do this right now. The idea of writing about him after he is gone just breaks me. So that is why I wrote our final Adventure Tail .and that is why I am closing down the blog. ”

“For those of you who like to be in touch, I will mostly be offline. I need to concentrate on shutting down this part of our life. But most importantly, I need to take care of my Good Dog. My people are not given to grand shows of emotion or public displays. We don't even cry in public. So privately, respectfully, I will tend to my most beloved, most faithful, most valiant companion. And when it is time, I will not fail him. I will continue to praise God for providing me with such a wonderful friend and thank Him for all the time that Ti and I have spent together.”

“My Most Excellent Good Dog, Titan Wolfgang Maximus Big Bear. My Right Hand. The First in Command. The Other Half of My Sky. That day we randomly went to look at puppies... he picked me. He.picked.me. I have never been so thankful for anything in my life.”

“Thank you all, friends, for your well wishes and prayers. Thank you for our time together.”

The single spotlight fades to black. 

The End. 

Editor's Note: Thank you, everyone, for your kind words.