The Twelve Days of Christmas... OFG Style

The other day on "the facebook" someone posted the very adorable Twelve Days of Christmas by Kerri over on City Girl Farming. It was perfect. Very lovely. When I read stuff like that I think to myself, "Dang! Why can't I have that idyllic life?"

But you know that I will always tell you the truth about farming. The truth is that our farmy Christmas is more like something Tim Burton came up with. All nuts, all the time, and rarely is there an idyllic scene. I assure you that if there was a barred rock in the pear tree I would be throwing sticks at her and yelling to "Come down from there this minute and lay me an egg!"

So a bunch of malcontents urged me to come up with my own Twelve Days of Christmas. Here's what you get, you sons-o-golly-whats. You know of whom I speak.

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me.... Nothing. But I finally found that missing pigz head.

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me... two roos named Stew and I finally found that missing pigz head.

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me... three screaming ganders, two roos named Stew, and I finally found that missing pigz head.

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me..... four badass dogs, three screaming ganders, two roos named Stew, and I finally found that missing pigz head.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me... five goofy goats! Four badass dogs, three screaming ganders, two roos named Stew, and I finally found that missing pigz head.

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me.... six turks a-gobbling, five goofy goats! Four badass dogs, three screaming ganders, two roos named Stew, and I finally found that missing pigz head.

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me.... seven runner ducks, six turks a-gobbling, five goofy goats! Four badass dogs, three screaming ganders, two roos named Stew, and I finally found that missing pigz head.

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me.... eight insane cats, seven runner ducks, six turks a-gobbling, five goofy goats! Four badass dogs, three screaming ganders, two roos named Stew, and I finally found that missing pigz head.

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me....nine creepy meats, eight insane cats, seven runner ducks, six turks a-gobbling, five goofy goats! Four badass dogs, three screaming ganders, two roos named Stew, and I finally found that missing pigz head.

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me... ten misplaced tools, nine creepy meats, eight insane cats, seven runner ducks, six turks a-gobbling, five goofy goats! Four badass dogs, three screaming ganders, two roos named Stew, and I finally found that missing pigz head.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me... eleven random chickens, ten misplaced tools, nine creepy meats, eight insane cats, seven runner ducks, six turks a-gobbling, five goofy goats! Four badass dogs, three screaming ganders, two roos named Stew, and I finally found that missing pigz head. 

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me.... twelve missing eggs, eleven random chickens, ten misplaced tools, nine creepy meats, eight insane cats, seven runner ducks, six turks a-gobbling, five goofy goats! Four badass dogs, three screaming ganders, two roos named Stew, and I finally found that missing pigz head.   

Happy Holly Jolly everyone!