Ohiofarmgirl's Adventures in The Good Land is largely a fish out of water tale about how I eventually found my footing on a small farm in an Amish town. We are a mostly organic, somewhat self sufficient, sustainable farm in Ohio. There's action and adventure and I'll always tell you the truth about farming.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Woe to you, Varmint!

The Dread Commander Zander Hannibal BoneCrusher. The Black Death. The Foe Hammer. 
The Night Fears Him.

A Psalm to The War Hounds of These Good Lands.

Woe to you, Varmint! Woe to you!
Did you think you would come here to these Good Lands and steal from us?
Did you think you would bring your malevolent putrescence here?
Woe to you! I say again, Woe to you!

My Most Excellent Good Sir Titan did spy your filthy form.
My Fighting Uruk-hai did run you down.

And then, like a storm, The Black Death did thunder across the field on flashing feet
and did wrest your miserable soul from your now stinking corpse.

Did you think you would test these Good Dogs?
Did you think you would try these Good Lands?
Nay, Varmint, Nay!

Feel you now the full weight of my VengeanceBringer!
Feel the grip of My Right Hand!
Learn ye now the full measure of the name BoneCrusher!

Get thee hence to your miserable death, Varmint, and trouble these Good Lands no more.

So say we all.


Kate said...

Oh my god - I love this so much I may print it out and put it on my garden gate.

I do not have a bone crusher or a death bringer. I do, however, have the bearer of the sonic woof

Vintage Maison said...

well, we don't have a bone crusher but we do have Charlie the Poodle, and woe betide anything that comes through the gate or passes through the field - he's got a terrific bark and sharp nippy teeth!

Rita B Caldwell said...

I just love those dogs and someday will have another one!!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...