Ohiofarmgirl's Adventures in The Good Land is largely a fish out of water tale about how I eventually found my footing on a small farm in an Amish town. We are a mostly organic, somewhat self sufficient, sustainable farm in Ohio. There's action and adventure and I'll always tell you the truth about farming.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

The Grand Poobah of Goosenstein

Did you win the $319million megasuperduper powerball lotto? I didn't either. It was one of the many things that didn't work out yesterday (Saturday).  We were supposed to have a big day in the city - I was gonna go to Starbucks and Trader Joes and eat a meal that I didn't have to cook myself. That was gonna be my lotto-winning day.

Instead I sulked most of the day. I sure could have used that trip into town - or the winning lotto ticket. Have you thought about what you'd do with the big winnings? I have it all worked out. The first thing I would do with that king-sized check is run right out and buy a thousand geese. You heard me - 1,000 honking, flapping, screaming, flippity-floppity footed geese. Why geese? Why not. I just love them. If I could I'd have a whole field of them.

My minions and loyal subjects

The next thing I'd do is go and buy myself a country somewhere for all these geese. And I'd appoint myself the Grand Poobah and my first official act would be to name the country Goosenstein. All my adoring masses would honk and scream and cheer for me, their beloved leader.

My Deputy Grand Poobah

I'd tool around the country all day in a big Boss Hogg Cadillac - complete with the big bull's horns on the front and a horn that toodled "Jingle Bells." I'd ride around with the dogs in the back and our barncat, Shine, in the front keeping an eye on all them geese.

My Generals and Men At Arms

In my kingdom every Friday would be Pie-day and it would all be free, provided you greeted each other with a big belly laugh and sang out joyfully "Its a glorious day!" to each other.  Angry people with nothing nice to say would get a ticket and we'd have no tolerance for bad shrubbery.

Free Pie - what could be better?

Not that I've given much thought to it... but that's what I'd do if I had the winning  megasuperduper powerball lotto ticket.

But I didn't win and I sulked about not getting into town while we worked on fencing. Even tho yesterday didn't work out the way I wanted to, my pal Freemotion reminded me that things have gone pretty good for us this spring. We got a prize winning, bucket filling, milking machine - Sunny.  And we had two sets of triplet goatie babies. And thank heaven - we haven't had any losses from the local coyotes or other assorted varmints.

One of two sets of trips

Even tho we had to part with some of our flippity floppity friends, the sale did pay for some of our expenses and the rest of the fencing is darn near paid for. So, yep. Freemotion is just right. After some tough days this winter we are on the upswing. And spring is coming - I can just feel it.

Remember when it was summer and everyone was happy?

So happy Sunday everyone! Now I'm going to sit around, have some sloth, eat some pie, and dream about being the Grand Poobah of Goosenstein.


small farm girl said...

You have some kind of imagination!!! LOL!

Chai Chai said...

Shirley you know that this post has more references to movie and TV quips then an "Airplane" script.

I hope you have some good help in Goosenstein because the screaming geese often leave behind a bit more than loving cheers and embraces!

Is Goose stepping required in Goosenstein? I hope not because I can only get mine up to about Ni high!


Finally, as Grand Poobah you may want to look up the Flintstones Episode "Ladies Night at the Lodge", let's just say; 'Its a killer....'

Ohiofarmgirl said...

hey SFG, you have no idea...

Chai Chai, I am serious and don't call me Shirley.

And yes there will be a lot of lively goose stepping. The sound of flippity-floppity feet will fill the air! (*snort* Ni high!)

Heading off to find Flintstones....

Unknown said...

Sounds like a good time to me! If I won the lottery, I'd get outta dodge, buy acres and acres, fence it, then put little barns all over the place. My very own little house on the prairie, but with electricity.

Leontien said...

Loved your post and if you need any help over there in Goosenstein, call me up i'll be part time help!


Gingerbreadshouse7 said...

If you had become the grand poopah of Goosenstein, I would expect to be the Mistress of the Chickens! and be endowed with Acres and Acres of land to raise them all on, and I would also take over those pigs that you hate so :o). I would see to it that all the ducks would have a self cleaning Pond to swim in ...and we would be happy ever after with all the Milk and honey we could drink with all the deviled eggs we desired ...:o)

Michelle said...

We didn't win either. Mr P was disappointed too, he was hoping not to have to go to work tomorrow.

Thanks for the fun post. I've been relying on blog reading to distract me from not feeling well. You also reminded me of looking forward to the 'upswing' of things.

Are geese really that much fun?

Grandpa said...

Hey OFG, did I tell you that you have ways with words? Who would have thought of grand poobah of goosenstein! With my limited vocabulary I'm not sure if those are real or words you made up!

And did I tell you too that my old man had a flock of geese for me to look after when I was a kid? A goat too.

Eating out once in a while is a good idea - rest those aching muscles.

I hope you win that lottery some day pal. Take care.

David P. Offutt - The Gastronomic Gardener said...

For a second I thought you were going to have sloth pie!

Ohiofarmgirl said...

Java, I love that you'd have your own little house on the prairie. Would Fran the Duck have her own barn?

Leontien, we will appoint you Minister of Foreign relations. But not tractor driving.

Ginny, you will be the Mistress of Chickens! Start making those deviled eggs - I love them so much! I'll meet you by the self cleaning pond. Oh happy day!

Michelle, Geese really are that fun. They are big and loud and goosey and really really soft. But they can be rascals which is kinda why I love them the best.

Thanks Grandpa, maybe I need to work more since I have so much time to sit around and day dream! Did you like your flock of geese? I love everything about them. Especially in the morning when they have a loud parade down to the pond then they silently glide along in the water. Absolutely stunning.
ps I may have made up "Goosenstein" but pretty much everything else is a real word. Kind of.

Hey David, well I guess a sloth would be easy enough to catch, being as slow as it is. But I hear they are stringy and kinda gamey tasting.

Rae said...

Lol, love it, and laughed my butt off!

Glad to hear more good about geese. We've got 4 goslings in our house right now, and everyone thinks we're nuts. I love these noisy little buggers!

Autumn said...

What kind of pie is that? I'm into Free Pie Friday, sounds like my kind of day!

Chai Chai said...

...."Pretty much everything else is real world. Kind of."

This made me laugh and laugh, for many reasons!

Ohiofarmgirl said...

Hi Rae! I absolutely love them - the little ones are just darling with the little meeping sounds. We used to chase them back inside the fence by saying "I'm going to eat you!" then they'd scream the whole way back. It was hilarious and no I can't eat them - I love them that much.

Autumn - thats The World's Best Pie - pumpkin walnut found here:

CC - you made it better by saying 'real WORLD' which makes me sound like Crazy Housewives of The Good Land. I meant to say "a real word" hee hee hee hee
ps dude - I'd so be in a show like that. hee hee hee hee hee I'd take on them fancy housewives and show 'em how we farm gals git 'er done. There would be hair pullin' and cryin' for sure.

Chai Chai said...

I pictured Grandpa trying to figure out the references to; Monty Python's Flying Circus, The Flintstones, Field of Dreams, Dukes of Hazzard, and The Mouse that Roared! (You may not have intended all these but I read into it a bit.)

I laughed and laughed because I actually read it as "real world, kind of." The idea of trying to explain all these things to someone from another culture and why they would be funny on their own merit let alone in your parody seemed hilarious to me.

The idea of a "Real World" TV challenge of farm folk vs the "House Wives of XXXX" is even more humerous!

Ohiofarmgirl said...

I'm so glad that I make you laugh, CC, but I assure you I'm quite shallow. I have no deep thoughts whatsoever! Altho, the Grand Duchy of Goosenburg was on the table as a country name. We wouldnt export wine but we would make bacon vodka.

And I have determined that you will head up the Ministry of Silly Walks.

In the first episode of The Real Housewives of The Good Land the fancy gals will have to gut and pluck a chicken and find me those darn pigz heads!

Chai Chai said...

You wouldn't be able to export Bacon Vodka! Brilliant! Once REAL Americans discovered its existence the invasion and takeover would be almost immediate.

If you could really make bacon vodka that lotto ticket winnings would look like chump change.

You better delete these posts for secrecy and get out in the barn and get a brew'n!

Chai Chai said...

Of course once you discover the secret of making bacon vodka you have to protect it from the posse....which will be harder than you think!


ckb said...

Love the pictures of the white dogs and the gray cat.

Ohiofarmgirl said...

CC - I laughed at LOT about those cat burglars! ha! You have no idea what The Posse has been able to do.

Thanks CKB! My barncat, Shine sends your Bertie his most hearty hello's!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...