Progress

Thanks, everyone, for your well wishes and prayers. And especially a big thank you to the folks who offered their help! I really appreciate everyone's kind words and for laughing along with me during this ridiculous situation.

 Itty Bitty

I'm making progress with my limpy leg and can almost walk like a regular person and not Quasimodo. The good news is that the drugs are working - the bad news is that they make me feel bad.

Little Mo, co-writer.

So I'm still benched. To make sure of it my husband was here yesterday "to work from home." HA! I think he was just supervising me so I wouldn't hobble out and cut hay or something.

Nicholas

Pretty much I've watched everything on hulu.com and spent a lot of time around sleeping cats. Soooo many sleeping cats. It's hypnotic.

Sweet Peep

Of course now I'm at the bored stage. But onward and upwards, right friends?

Happy Tuesday everyone! Anyone have suggestions about what to watch now? My requirements are very little character development, running, shooting, running and shooting, car chases, or aliens. Meaningful dialogue, zombies, vampires, or almost anything from PBS need not apply.

Technical Difficulties... Please stand by

Actually it's more like medical difficulties... but please stand by. Seems that yours truly was struck by some kind of limpy-gimpy malady. I don't even have a good story about what happened. But I woke up Friday at 4 in the AM in pain and it just kept getting worse. Then pretty much I couldn't walk, sit, stand, or lay down.

So on Saturday my husband took me to the nearest and best Urgent Care place. I walked in and informed the lady behind the counter that I urgently needed care. She gave me a form to fill out and told me to sit down. I hobbled over and sat among a collection of sick people. I resolved to touch nothing due to germs. Eventually they called my name and I hobbled after the nurse so I could go and wait somewhere else.

"Seems that I have a pain right in my hip, Doc." I said to the guy who I assumed was a doctor. I couldn't tell tho because there was some kind of football event happening on TV so everyone was wearing sports gear. The Big Game was starting soon so I listed all my symptoms quickly. "OK, let's take a look." He said and moved in my direction.

I tell you the truth, I am a terrific hypochondriac but a terrible patient. I am, as they say, "combative."

"Keep your hands were I can see them, friend, lest there be violence." I warned. "I'm a fighter."

"So am I." Was his reply. "Now get over here."

I dodged his grasp and faded right but he snagged me by the back of my shorts and shook me roughly like a naughty puppy. Then he grabbed my leg and turned it this way and that. "Does this hurt?"

"Aaagghhghg!! Yes! Now unhand me, you quack!" I yelled.

"How about this?" He twisted my leg the other way.

"Aaaugghghghg! Honey!" I was screaming now for aid.

A voice from the waiting room, "Do you need me to help hold her, Doc?"

"Traitor!" I yelled at my unhelpful husband.

"Well," Said the Doc "Looks like we'll have to fire up the xray machine."

Great. Now I was gonna be irradiated. He left and the nurse came in. She was holding the Gown of Shame. "Here, put this on." She instructed.

"Oh hell no." I said. About that time I began to wonder if I had decent drawers on or if I had once again worn my Superman underroos to the emergency room. I panicked. There was a scuffle. To be fair she was at least a foot taller than me and had arms like a Ukrainian weight lifter. I stood in my utter humiliation with my super "S" hanging out the backside.

She told me to follower her so I limped to the door. It was a long long hallway. I peeped left and right to make sure the coast was clear and then I hobbled as fast as I could. Mostly tho I looked like Grandma Gert the time she tried to make a break for it and escape the nursing home, such was my gait.

There was a gaggle of medical folk just by the xray room door. I clutched my gown so as to preserve my modesty. But mostly all's I was doin' was pulling that flimsy fabric tight across my tail feathers so now everyone could see the outline of my super underpants. There was snickering. But by that time I was too mortified by The Slab that is the xray machine.

If you've never had an xray the entire point is to make you as uncomfortable as possible. Then they ask you to perform yoga-like maneuvers such was the Camel Under a Bridge and Roadkill Turkey. And if you weren't already hurt when you went in - you are when you are finished. No one was happy. When she said I was done I sprang from the xray table like a surprised cat out of a bathtub.

I finally got my shorts back and was given a handful of papers. Thanks to a huge sign on the wall declared "We don't hand out pain medicine" I didn't get any. But instead I got a delightful concoction of prescriptions that was sure to render me into a state of delirium... and rage. I looked at the Doc dubiously. "I think you forgot to Rx 'donuts', Doc." I said.

"Get out." Said he.

I hobbled out into the full waiting room. "No amputation today, honey!" I said.  The lady behind the counter glared at me. Some of the people waiting looked scared.

The Big Man was mortified and snatched me up by the hand and drug me outside to the truck muttering about how he can't take me anywhere.

We got to the pharmacy and my able apothecary mixed up the potions. He handed them over with a strong warning that they might make me drowsy and.... and... oh look....purple butterflies........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

*Seeing OFG passed out over her laptop, Little Mo gently moved her out of the way, re-read the post, corrected a few spelling mistakes, and hit "Publish." Then Little Mo snuggled up against a sleeping OFG and settled in.*

Peach Tart!

We are down to the last of the peaches for the summer. So I made a tart. Technically this free form rustic tart is a galette... I just love them.

Peachy goodness

My go to pie dough is from Sunset magazine - for this one I used all butter. I like to use this little handy chopper to cut in the butter. Then while the dough is chillin' in the fridge, get your filling ready. You can make just about any kind of fruit galette - or a savory one like Smitten Kitchen has here (doesn't everyone love her?)

Easy peasy pie dough.

I'm pretty old school with my filling - I like to use tapioca instead of cornstarch or flour. Very little sugar, a splash of vanilla - just mix it up and you are set. Roll out the dough, mound up the filling, then fold up the dough around the filling. You can brush the crust with a little cream or beaten egg to make it fancy.

I think these tarts are just beautiful.

This tart baked in a 375* oven for about 45 minutes. It was so good that I'm going to make another one today... and yes, it's a breakfast food.

How's this for sunshine goodness?

Happy Friday everyone! I anyone else baking tarts?

What could possibly go wrong?

Did everyone see this story in the New York Times - that the USDA is going to allow China to process chicken for sale into the US?  Yep. Chinese chicken is on it's way into your soup and nuggets. But it's OK because it will be cooked chicken so we are all safe.

What could possibly go wrong?

In the understatement of the century this article says, "China does not have the best track record for food safety, and its chicken products in particular have raised questions. The country has had frequent outbreaks of deadly avian influenza, which it sometimes has been slow to report."

Oh. And it won't be labeled as coming from China so there is no way to tell where those frozen chicken nuts are coming from....but go ahead and cook up a big batch of them to feed to your kids. I'm sure it will be perfectly safe. 

My pal K posted another article here which reminds us that China can't even produce safe dog treats.... but I'm sure that taking US raised chicken, shipping it to China, having it processed, and then sending it back to the States is going to go off with out a hitch.

Seems that's a lot of miles for one nugget to travel. 

Especially when that chicken is traveling to and from a country famous for having a "dodgy" history for its food industry. According to this, their own folks may not even trust it.

And there is this. 

Don't forget that Smithfield - the largest pork producer - could be sold to a Chinese company. It is me or is it just sound like a stupid idea for a nation like ours - fully capable of growing and producing its own food - to ship it out of the country?  Smell ya later, jobs. See ya, oversight. Goodbye, some modicum of trust in what you buy from the store isn't gonna kill you.

I gotta just say the whole thing bugs me. It just seems even more incredulous that the government is happy to vendor out all this chicken McNuttin' to a country with a proven record of ne'erdowelling... but they are the same folks who think it's OK to send out SWAT teams to a farm for having bad shrubbery.

It could be that the world has officially gone mad.

Just in case you might think that now would be a good time to opt out of all this foolishness, all y'all might want to look into ordering some meat chickens. Meyer Hatchery should be having their fall sale soon. I know I'm getting another round.

I was going to sign this "good luck, suckers" but I realize that not everyone can grow their own food. But everyone can vote - with your dollars and with your actual vote. You might just want to start taking an interest in the goings on. Support your local grower, ask your grocery manager where products and produce is coming from, and for heavens sakes start a garden.

And now I'm going to rally the turkey troops, march them up the hill, and set them to free ranging for the day.

Happy Thursday everyone!

Kebabbin'

Meat grilled on a stick is my new favorite thing - I can't get enough of kebabs. Plus, talk about the easiest dinner to make.... sheesh. It doesn't get any simpler than this.

Meat grilled on a stick. Largely responsible for the development of our civilization. Probably.

Marinating meat in yogurt is an old standby. But we kick it up a notch and use a lemon ginger yogurt. Add a little garlic, salt, and pepper - easy peasy. How long to marinate? Well, what kind of time do you have? We found that all day is too long so a couple hours is fine. Only have 30 minutes or so? Sure why not? Just mix everything together and let rest if the fridge.

Spice it up, add yogurt, and let marinate in the fridge.

When your grill is hot  just skewer the meat and away you go. I'm always amazed that the yogurt doesn't make a huge mess on the grill but it doesn't so no need to try and wipe it off the meat. Grill for a couple minutes on each side. Just be careful you don't burn your hands on the hot skewers (use tongs or an oven mitt).

For the life of me I can't remember where I got my stainless steel, mini kebab skewers... but I found similar ones like here, NEW, 8-Inch Long Stainless Steel Skewers, Barbecue Skewers, BBQ Skewers, Shish Kebab Kabob Skewers, Ring-Tip Handle, 1-Dozen. I think these mini-skewers are perfect - they don't hang over the plate, they are easy to handle, and are nice sized servings.

I never add veggies to the meat kebabs - they never cook at the same rate and it always just seemed weird to me. But then I saw Steven Raichlen make meat-only kebabs which worked out much better. Does everyone have his book? We just love it - The Barbecue! Bible - everything you need to be a grill master. 

That's what is for dinner around here - easiest thing to make for these long days of canning. Whatcha got on the grill?

Happy Wednesday everyone!

Editor's note: yes yes the links go to my Amazon store.... but how else am I gonna tell you about these great finds? And yes if you order by clicking on these links - or anything else thru my Amazon store or from the Amazon search box on the right side of this page - I get a small percentage of the sale. It doesn't cost you one more cent and it helps support this blog. 

Lands of Snow and Ice - Bandit Arrives

“Bandit!” Cried Kai eagerly as she made her way across the crowded Great Hall. “Bandit!”

Word had arrived that the famed hunter, Bandit BearSlayer, had arrived from the lands far to the west. Everyone in the Good Land had been expecting her visit. She was a member of the House of Ehren. After the great warrior Otto and his lively companion, Cowboy, left the Good Land and returned to the Westlands OFG had received messages saying that Bandit would be visiting. Princess Kai was particularly eager to meet Bandit.

Bandit was stunning. She wore a jet black coat with white accents and a glorious mane. But the thing everyone noticed first were her eyes. Bandit's eyes were a dazzling blue. No one in the Good Land had such striking eyes. OFG's eyes were a kind of hard, cruel grey but nothing like the glorious blue of Bandit's eyes. They were like a wind swept blue sky on a punishingly cold day.

Kai was somewhat out of breath when we finally caught up to the famed hunter.

“Bandit! Finally you're here. I'm so glad.” Said Kai.

Bandit turned her head to see who was calling her name so insistently. Kai was stunned by Bandit's shocking blue eyes.

Seeing only a stranger Bandit said, “What do you want?” With Bandit's heavy, unfamiliar accent it sounded to Kai like she said, “Vvhaat do you vaaaant.”

Kai was taken aback by the dismissiveness in her tone. Surely Bandit must want to meet another BearHunter. But instead Bandit's blue eyes pierced Kai with unveiled annoyance.

“I... um... it's just.. I been waiting so long to meet you. Cowboy talked about you so much. And.. and..I thought we could talk about hunting and I could show you the Good Land.”

As Kai was stumbling over this awkward meeting she saw Bandit's eyes flash toward the door. Col Ti was gruffly coming into the Hall. Hurriedly, of course. He glanced up and caught Bandit's ice blue eyes. For one second he and Bandit looked directly at each other and the distance between them was absolutely silent.

Then Col Ti appeared to trip over something. Col Ti caught himself, flushed with shame, and then barked at a page to immediately fix whatever imperfection was in the floor. He hurried on his way. Bandit grinned a little and then returned her gaze back to the Princess in front of her.

“Go.” Bandit said nodding toward Col Ti, “Your commanding officer needs you, I'm sure.”

“Commanding officer?...You mean...” Kai sat down hard and drew in a breath to calm herself. “My mother commands me, Bandit. Not Col Ti.”

“So. You are the Princess Kai. The BearKiller.” Bandit's tone was not respectful. It was mocking and Kai was not accustomed to being talked to in this fashion. “BearKiller.” Bandit sneered, “If you say so.”

Bandit moved to push her aside but Kai stood her ground and grabbed Bandit's shoulder, “Bandit wait! I want to...”

But before Kai could finish her sentence the famed bear hunter rounded on the Princess and had Kai by the throat. Bandit was eye to eye with the surprised Princess. Her blue eyes narrowed on Kai.

Bandit snarled in a tone that was not a warning.“What do you know about the hunt, you pampered princess! You know nothing. All you have ever done is lounge around this Great Hall and call yourself a hunter. You have not earned that name! It was given to you because of your status. You lack the courage of a real hunter. Have you ever even been on a real hunt? Has your own prey turned on you? Have you fought for you life? Have you smelled your own death and lived to tell the story?” Bandit roughly shoved Kai away. “Go. Princess BearKiller and welp some pups. You haven't the courage for the bear hunt.”

The Great Hall had fallen silent and Kai's Men at Arms were gathering around their war leader. The courtiers had all but disappeared and Kai could feel her mother's hard gaze on them. Lucky was in the back of the hall, at his new station as Master of the House, watching this all unfold. “Why hasn't OFG intervened? She hadn't even reached for her sword – or her ax. There must be a reason.” Thought Lucky.

Kai drew herself up to her full height, determination filled her brown eyes, and she slowly moved until she matched Bandit's fighting stance. They locked eyes and the entire Great Hall held it's breath for a long moment. The tension between the hunter and the Princess filled the whole of the space.

Kai suddenly lifted her head and revealed the jagged scar that ran down her neck and chest.

“See? I have smelled my own death, Bandit, and I have lived to tell the story. I alone took on the Good Land's largest hog to save my father. I nearly died that day and I would gladly give my life for any here. I do not lack courage.”

Bandit lifted an eyebrow and gave a half smile as she huffed. “So. It is true then. You fought that huge hog. Perhaps you have some courage, Little Kai. But if you fought that hog alone you are just foolish.”

This insult was almost too much for Kai and her temper broke. Just as she drew in a breath and poised to strike...

“BANDIT.”

OFG's voice, full of authority and tinged with rage, filled The Great Hall. Everyone froze. Except for Little Mo, who was clearing his throat noisily and tapping a scroll too obviously. OFG cut her eyes at the former troubadour who again cleared his throat... too obviously. He started tapping on the scroll again. OFG blinked at him. She turned back to the Princess and the hunter.

“Bandit.” Said OFG in a more measured tone, “Come forward...and be welcomed.”

Little Mo exhaled audibly.

The Mistress of the House of Ehren had written OFG to tell her of Bandit's coming and to beg forgiveness. Altho Bandit lived with Erhen's Household she served none. Bandit's independence and insolence was almost as legendary as her hunting victories.

It was known that Bandit rejected all forms of authority and submitted to none. It caused great heartache and frustration for her Mistress but it was the way of the BearHunters. OFG agreed not to be offended by Bandit's insubordination as long as it did not infect the rest of her troops. But OFG had not expected Bandit to challenge her own Princess in her Great Hall. OFG was vexed and everyone knew it.

Bandit made her way to OFG's dias. She had the low slung stride of many great hunters and she walked with the confidence of an older woman who knew her beauty. Bandit knew that Col Ti was watching her. Bandit moved like water. Silently.

Little Mo had been furiously whispering in OFG's ear as Bandit approached. Princess Kai followed just behind and her stoney gaze was also on Bandit.

“I bring greetings from the House of Erhen.” Called out Bandit as she made, with great effort, a cursory bow acknowledging OFG. “I thank you for your welcome. The Warriors Otto and Cowboy send their warmest regards to you and your officers. My bearers and personal guard are positioned outside your North Gate and await for your permission to enter this Good Land. My bearers have gifts and messages from my Mistress.”

Little Mo was intrigued by Bandit's thick accent and reveled in the way she said, “vfrom mai Meeeestrezzz.” The foreignness of her voice tickled the inside of his ear. “This was going to be an interesting visit.” He thought. Seeing that OFG had relaxed a bit Little Mo settled in to watch the spectacle.

“You are most welcome, Bandit. Our scouts have reported your camp. Have your men come and we will give them quarters.” Said OFG.

“No,” Said Bandit, “My thanks. But do nothing for them. They will seem odd to you and they will prefer to keep some distance. But please, send a runner to let the bearers know the gifts will be received.”

“What manner of creature are your companions, Bandit BearHunter, that they would seem strange to us? Asked OFG.

“Kapvik.” Answered Bandit. “They can be...difficult..and it is best for them to keep their own camp.”

OFG raised an eyebrow. This Bandit is really something, she thought. A she-bitch who runs with wolverines is no one to be trifled with. OFG smiled to herself. But neither is My Fighting Uruk-Hai. OFG glanced at the Princess who was nearly shaking with rage. Kai had been caught off guard by Bandit, but it would not happen again. Having two BearHunter females under the same roof could be problematic.  She had expected some friction but nothing like this.

“Col Ti, recall the rangers from the North and tell the troops to avoid that region. Bandit, tell your men that they may hunt for two days North and one day East or West, but to stay close to the gate. And I trust you will keep a firm hand on your....difficult... companions.” Said OFG.

Then gesturing to the warriors gathered in the Great Hall, OFG explained, “You see that we have both Predators and Prey serving the Good Land. Make sure your men understand the difference between friend and foe...and food." A little laughter rippled through the troops, altho some of the serving ducks looked around nervously.  OFG continued, “Of course, they may help themselves to as many rats and weasels they can find.” Bandit nodded curtly acknowledging these orders.

Little Mo was watching Col Ti. Col Ti's eyes watched Bandit's every move. He looked like a love struck puppy. “This will be very interesting, indeed.” Thought Little Mo.

Meanwhile the Great Hall resumed its typical level of activity. The crowd gathered to hear the news as Bandit relayed the stories of her Mistress, Otto, and Cowboy.

Commander Zander entered the Great Hall. He stood at least a head and shoulder above the rest of the crowd. He was tall and proud and kingly in his appearance. He smiled easily and people were drawn to his natural leadership. Wondering what he missed Zander took his place next to his mother and his still seething sister. He noted the new visitor and her amazing eyes.

“You must be tired, Bandit, from your travels. Please enjoy the comforts of our hospitality.” Said OFG.

With this polite dismissal Bandit bowed to take her leave. But before Bandit could rise OFG leaned down and said in a barely audible whisper, “Have a care with my Princess, Bandit. Had I not agreed to some... latitude... for your behavior you would be dead now. Kai may be beguiled by your fame, but I am not.” Bandit raised her eyes a bit to see that OFG was glaring at her. “You will respect this court, Bandit, or I will kill you myself.”

Bandit could feel the full weight of OFG's authority and rage upon her. Perhaps for the first time in her life Bandit genuinely averted her eyes and knelt lower under another's dominance.

“My apologies. I....”

But OFG cut her off, “Col Ti, please escort our visitor to her quarters.” Said OFG.

Eagerly Col Ti stepped forward, “Of course, Sir.” Then to the visitor, “Right this way, Bandit.”

Little Mo thought he might snicker at bit at Col Ti's eagerness to show Bandit her bedroom. However, everyone knew that you did not laugh at Col Ti and live to tell about it. So Little Mo just silently watched them go. As did everyone else.

Her mother's disapproving eye was upon her. “Kai. You will make your peace with Bandit. And you,” OFG said looking at Zander. “Zander, you will make sure of it. The last thing we need is some kind of incident. Just remember Kai, that your dear friend Cowboy will not be happy to hear of a fight between you and Bandit. She is a famed warrior and of a noble name. So give her the respect she deserves – and keep that sharp tongue of yours in check, my Princess, or I will send you on a very long and a very boring patrol. Now go. Both of you.”

Zander and Kai trotted away. Kai's brow was still furrowed. “What was that all about, Sister?” Asked Zander.

“Nothing. It was nothing.” Said Kai, deeply shamed, and she walked faster to get out of the Great Hall.

Editor's Note: New readers my find the back story here. It's now easier than ever to find our hero's adventures in one place - the Not Entirely Fiction link on the top of this page.This series started with The Lands of Snow and Ice.

Blessed Be - Peaches!

Every summer I praise God for our orchard friends.... check out these beauties. Yesterday I spent some time with them picking their stunning harvest. I got these because they were unsellable. Can you believe it?

 Some of these were James and the Giant Peach big!

Still warm from the sun, a bit of brown sugar and cream.

Don't worry - there will be pie later.

Happy Sunday everyone!