A West Coast Girl's Guide to Living in the Midwest.

So, West Coast city dweller, you wanna move to the Midwest but don't know what to expect? Lean in, I'll letcha know what to expect. The good, the bad, the culture shock, and why you might not ever look back. Living in a small town may sound like some kind of nightmare but you never know, you might just love it. The kids ride their bikes in the street, the ice cream ladies remember your order, and folks wave at you when to drive by.

There are a lot of what-if's and a fair amount of uncertainty when you are trying to decide to move or not....and more than likely all your friends are looking at your like you have lobsters growing out of your ears.

How do you adjust? It's not so bad. You can do it.

The first thing to remember is that there are a lot of us out here. Most of us moved from big cities for love or family. You might remember how I finally won the lay-off lottery and was able to move back here to marry my husband.

I can name off five other former-city dwellers without even trying - a pastor from Motown, a French chef with an impressive resume, my favorite corporate attorney, the guy from the social security office, and a very successful business person - all of us gave up big lives to move back here on purpose for family or to marry the person of our dreams. So you are not alone. Come on and join the fun!

The biggest obstacle to deciding to move out to the rural Midwest is probably the derogatory remarks and lack of support from your friends. They will think you are nuts. But just remember that their lack of enthusiasm is more about how they are interpreting your move as a rejection of them or their lives....and not you and your goals. So you really need to tune them out as you are packing your bags. They will flood you with objections - usually the same ones:

1. But the WEATHER! It's horrible! Snow! Ice! How will you manage?
A lot of people like four distinct season. Me? I like three seasons. I hate the winter. I moved out here in the middle of winter and it was probably not the best idea. But I knew what I was getting into and I didn't have a lot of choice about my timing. Just remember that winter is an ugly time here. Unless it snows - then it can look kind of pretty. Some people like the snow. Not me. But it's over soon enough and then we are into spring, summer, and spectacular fall.

Remember too that we aren't living in caves - central heating and air conditioning really put a dent into the "weather" objection. And for every "But it's Tornado Alley out there!" you can counter with "Yeah, well -  earthquakes, mudslides, and fire season!" So everywhere has their thing.

2. BUGS! So many bugs!
I dunno.... we really don't have a ton of mosquitoes where we are. But we run a lot of poultry so we don't see a ton of bugs. We have some really huge spiders tho.

3. It's the Flyover! A cultural wasteland with nothing to do!
I don't know... more and more of the country is starting to look exactly the same. So this is probably less true than it was before. There may be fewer choices than you are used to... but if you drive far enough there is a lot to do. Don't forget you are only about 6 hours driving to Chicago or Washington DC.

After you talk thru these objections then your friends will just kind of walk away confused still not understanding why you'd leave The Best Place On Earth to move to the Midwest. That's OK. You can do this.

But the culture shock is real.

I think we all remember the screaming break down I had the first week I got here because I had to *gasp* make my own coffee and clean my own house. It was barbaric! And then there was the Dreadful Pig Breakdown when I stood covered in pig "mud" screaming at my husband that I...and I'm quoting here... "...I used to BE someone! I shouldn't be here! I should be in Maui right now not standing here in the mud with these stupid pigz!"

Sometimes the adjustment can be hard. Good thing my husband has a sense of humor and is the most patient man I've ever met. Eventually I learned to make my own coffee. I miss Cleaning Lady tho. I miss her real bad.

The best way to avoid scenes like this is to be prepared. Actually both of you need to be prepared. The person who lives/wants to be here needs to remember that it's their dream - and not necessarily yours. So some leeway is warranted. An occasional trip to civilization, expensive cheese, or the keys to the zippy car are all ways to make the incoming person feel less freaked out.

And the incoming person needs to understand that it will be different. There are not as many choices, the folks may seem provincial, the scope is narrower, the pace slower. It's not worse, not better, just different.

When I go back to the city I stand in one of many luxury grocery stores and marvel at the selection... so many choices! Back here I've had to make my peace with Walmart. But who really needs 12 different kinds of frozen peas anyway? Right?

Instead of choosing between the nine different Thai restaurants that were within 15 minutes of my city house... there is one here. One. In the whole state as far as I can tell. We just found it and it's real. But we need to make sure we have gas in the car before we leave because it's kind of a long drive.

The solution, of course, is to learn how to make your own ethnic food. There is not a wide range of culinary delights when the nearest town features no fewer than four restaurants that specialize in chicken wings. Get good cookbooks and learn to order exotic ingredients from Amazon... or make a pilgrimage into one of several international grocery stores in the nearest big city. They are fantastic and you can find just about anything.

Speaking of driving, I never liked the car culture of the West Side. It was too much for me to drive more than six miles from my city house to my job. Now my husband commutes 51 miles each way. I'd die if I had to do that. Traffic here? Ha! Are you kidding... freakin' casuals. They know nothing of bad traffic.

The distances are far... which may not be a surprise. But what is a shock is that there may be nothing...and I mean nothing on the way to your destination. The trip to the vet? I gotta make sure I have a snack before I leave and to build in time for a rest stop before I get there.

And it's flat. Real flat. Like... that wind has been blowing since Kansas and nothing has been in the way since then flat. Initially couldn't find my way around because there is nothing to reconnoiter with. Before I just used the water and the mountains. I finally had to figure out to use the position of the sun. Can you believe that? Now I can find my directions - north, south, east, and west - without a compass.  In fact, I can now tell what time it is in the summer by the position of the moon at night.  Half the time in the city I couldn't even see the moon let alone the stars. Out here.. there are soooo many stars. It's amazing.

The scope of wealth here really surprised me.  It seems.. kinda narrow. One of the best things about the Midwest is that you can afford to live here. But coming from a place dripping in money... it's just kind of weird. Heck, where I used to live you couldn't even open your car door without hitting a Porshe. The only car any of us ever turned to look at as the yellow Lamborghini - and that was only because we knew who it was and he was kind of an ass. But what is considered top shelf back here would get the bad parking spot if left with the valet in the city. 

But then, that works for you. We bought this property - 15 acres and the garage/buildings - for what we'd need for a down payment in an expensive city. When I got the property tax statement I laughed. The affordability is what is really stunning. The bill was so low first time I took my truck in to be fixed that I called someone and asked if I should pay the fix-it guy more? Nope. That's just what it was.

Salaries are lower, opportunities are fewer, but so are expectations. You can afford to live here and you probably won't kill yourself doing it. "Meeting" expectations - instead of exceeding them is just fine. There is not the same level of hyper-competitiveness and self promotion you see other places. There is a humility here that is kind of nice.

In fact, some of the folks you may be tempted to discount first may have the most. So don't just assume because a guy walks by in work clothes and a tractor hat that he's just some no account rube. Some of the farmers around here have equipment in their barns that is more valuable than any house you will ever own. It's kind of an odd little world.

Another thing I didn't expect? The wildlife. Yep. I know folks who pay good money to pay a guide to drive them around and looks at hawks. Out here we call that "our drive to church." We know most of the birds of prey along the way. And the ones that live in our woods. I couldn't believe it the first time I heard the hooo-hooo-hoooo owls in our back woods. I didn't even have to pay anyone for that.

Of course, all of the cliches about how the folks back here are genuinely nicer are true. When I'd go back to visit my old city I really started to see how angry everyone really is. I was accused of "smiling too much" and "being too friendly." I didn't remember everyone being so angry - but back then I was probably living off caffeine, adrenaline, and indifference.

Folks here really do care about you. You'll remember what happened when our truck broke down that one time. Out here plenty of folks will help you if you need it. That alone makes it easier to be happy.

The other great thing is, you can be whoever you want to be. Some of the small mindedness of the past is fading away.  Sure, there are horrible people everywhere but there are more and more folks living the life they want even this far out. I'm friends with the Orthodox hipsters who run the vegan, gluten free coffee place, the Mennon-"Not" lady who works in town, the Holiness lady who makes the good rolls, Mrs. Miller who makes the other rolls, and the other Mrs. Miller who puts the sign out when she sells her angel food cakes. The hippy farmers, the mommies, the small time lawyer, the big deal attorney, the guy who owns the orchard, the old timey pastor, the gal with the good tattoos, the gal with the bad tattoos, the guy learning to be a fireman, the guys who sell soap, and the other guys who sell wool - we are all out here together.

Do you want to start a business? Start a family? Raise some sheep? Get an impressive degree? You can do all that out here. We've had to start and restart a couple of times. This is a great place to do all those things. You just have to find the clusters of folks who are headed in the same direction and get in with them.Then it won't feel so weird.

 I can recognize folks who are more like me. In fact, you can't help but see each other. One time me and some gal ran across a parking lot towards each other, "Where are you from?" We both asked. The same-ish place. So we hugged each other, called each other "dude," and might have cried a little being as we were so glad to find "our" people.

So you'll find each other. Once you do then you'll feel like you fit in better. But if you can't find a lot of like minded folks then get a lot of online friends, swallow your pride, develop a sense of humor, and learn to blend in a bit with the folks around you.

I could not explain my last job to some folks with a herd of nerds and a white board. So I don't. I also don't talk about my old life to most folks. Half of them wouldn't believe it and the other half just wouldn't care. It may be hard to understand, but not everyone wants to live on one of the coasts. Folks like living here and don't like to be told how it isn't as good. So I stopped comparing and started appreciating

The fact is that there are a lot of us folks from somewhere else. We all came here for the same reasons and we are glad we did. Is it the same? Nope. It's different. I miss the ocean. I miss Cleaning Lady. But we can have the life we want here. The summers are glorious, the fall is spectacular, and if I can get thru another winter I can't wait for spring to show up.

How do I cope? I'll use this winter to learn how to make really good Thai food, I'll have lunch with other former city dwellers, talk to my friends online, and I'll order anything I need from Amazon. When my city friends complain about their annoying co-workers or how expensive it is to live there... well... I'll just kind of nod understandingly. But inside I'll be laughing about how I'm my own boss here and we can afford the life we want.

Can you really make the move here from the West Coast? Yes you can! Pack your sense of humor, adventuresome spirit, and get a good winter jacket. You'll be just fine out here, baby, we can't wait for you to get here!

Top Ten Posts of 2014

I saw that some of the other bloggers were doing a "Top 10" list of their posts for 2014... so why not? Sure, I'll give it a go.  Wow, what a list! Actually I was kinda surprised at the results.

 Every body loves posts about pigz. 

To be sure, my all time top posts are all about growing out pigz, butchering, bottle feeding baby goats, goat polio, and how to keep you dog from killing your chickens.. But the top posts published in 2014 were about.... building my greenhouse. And pigz, butchering, dogs...and TV. Well that last one was kind of weird... but over all I'd say yep, these were the top posts. 

Here is the list:

1. How to watch TV without cable. This was even before Amazon Fire TV.. .now that it is on the way - we may never watch regular TV again!

2. How to transport 16' cattle panels. This was part of my series about building my greenhouse.

3. And that is all I got to say about that. I still don't have anything else to say about it. But I'm glad I have a new friend.

4. We butchered a goat. Tommy Boy meets his just end. We didn't even feel bad. Note: after all this time there is still a fair amount of insensitivity to this post. All y'all goat smugglers probably should not read this.

5. On training hard working farm dogs. Ah yes.. my favorite topic, with my favorite picture of my Dog#1. Folks are always asking me about how I work with the dogs. I'm still working on getting a GoPro to strap to my hat so you can see it in action. But here is a good overview of how I work with my dogs.

6. Project Goals: Hoop house green house. I started off declaring the project and by the end of the month it was up and running. I took my pal Bourbon Red's hoop house how-to and created a superduper greenhouse that I used all spring. Probably my favorite project.

7. Tommy Boy meets The Dog.  I'm guessing that this shows up on the list because of the reference links from both 'We Butchered a Goat' and 'On Training Hard Working Farm Dogs'.... but his gives a good account of how farm dogs should work. First that Dog#1 immediately took the right action...and that The Dread Commander Zander ran directly to my side. Zander earned a promotion for his good work and has moved on to actively performing our command "Guard Momma."

8. Baby goats and goat polio. About the same time every year folks start searching on two topics - how to bottle feed baby goats and how to treat goat polio. Note: I am not a vet. I don't play a vet on TV. But this is what we do and so far so good.

9. All American Pressure Cooker/Canner on sale. This sale was outstanding... wow what a deal! I keep track of the prices with a link on the right side of my blog. Right now it's about $200 but that $188 price was insane. Let's hope it comes back around.

10. Build a hoop house: Step One. Gather materials & planning. This is the first in the how-to. If you are interested here are the rest of the steps, here they are: Step One. Step Two. Step Three. Step Four.

All in all this has been a great year. We had some ups and downs - but we could not have asked for a better summer. Most of our projects were successful and the ones that weren't... well, we just did the best that we could. What's going to happen next year? Lots of things. I'm so excited about what we'll be working on and the new projects coming up.

Happy New Year everyone! I'm so glad to have you all in my life. Thank you so much for your support. I never thought my little blog, started mostly for my own record keeping, would lead me to so many new friends. Onward and upward, friends. Remember that we are all in this together.

Grinding Day - DONE!

I finally got done with grinding day which means our Merry Meatmas is DONE. Well... OK it will be done when the bacon is smoked. But we are mostly done. We have been swimming in pork for days now. Of course... all I want for dinner is chicken. *sigh*

So much grinding. I use the grinding attachment for one of my Kitchenaid mixers.

I have to say that this has been a hugely successful harvest. At first I thought, gosh this isn't enough meat... but then at the end of Grinding Day I realized we had more than enough. Our new freezer is a bigger one so it didn't look as full as I thought it should be... but then I also remembered that we have 42lbs of ham and bacon that will be picked up from the butcher next week.

Now we can just kick back, have some sloth, and relax until next summer.... HA! You're right, you know me too well. Are you kidding? Sit around? I have things to do!  I swear these extra couple of minutes of daylight are an absolute blessing.... I can't wait to get outside.

In the meantime, here are some links about past Meat and Grinding Days:

Meat Day Results
Making Chops and taking off the bacons
Lard n stock
Making bacon
More on bacon
How to brine and smoke a ham
Pancetta - how easy is this to make?

Can you part up half a hog? Sure! Why not? Get some good knives and then watch this (video #2), I love these guys.

Sometimes folks ask how they should portion up a half a hog - usually when they are getting it from a butcher. The answer is.... how do you usually use it? What do your normally buy? Also - get what is easy for you to make for dinner. Don't try and have "special occasion" meals only. This way you'll really use it for everyday meals and it won't just sit in the freezer.

For us, big roasts are just kind of a waste. There are only two of us so a big roast is just kind of silly. To be honest the both of us just really like meat fried up in a pan - and pork chops. So a good portion of the shoulders are just cut up into "stew meat" sized chunks and portioned into one pound freezer bags. These thaw out quickly and then can be used, for stew, stir fries, or just... meat lighted floured, salt and peppered, and then fried up in a pan. Easy peasy.

We use ground pork like folks use ground beef - for burgers, taco meat, etc. So we have a lot of that also. And since the secret is out that sausage is just seasoned ground meat... we don't make sausage on Grinding Day. We just thaw out a pack of fresh ground pork and season it when we need it. Mostly we like bulk sausage, not links, so this works out.

I portioned out the ribs so that we can do them up in our favorite way.  The one mistake we have made is try and "save" them for a special occasion. We end up forgetting. So my goal is to make these ribs before the 1st of June.

The one thing I'm doing differently is that I'm not making stock right away. So I put some of the big, meaty bones into the freezer. We'll see how this goes. I might forget about them... but I'm hoping that I'll use them for making stew. I hope I remember.

I'm glad we have put this Hog Harvest to rest. Now I can go about the business of getting prepped for next year.

Happy Tuesday everyone - are you finally done with all your meat processing?

Happy Dogs

We are still grinding thru our Merry Meatmas.... so much meat. The dogs have been in hog heaven - they have been getting a lot of meat trimmings and bones.

Kai loves getting bones. 

But she really takes her time with them. 

Zander is so excited he has to brace himself.

Happy Sunday everyone! Do you have happy dogs?

Mr. Tibbles - not dead.

It's always a very long, slow walk out to check on an injured farm critter. Such was my walk yesterday.

Mr. Tibbles in his days of glory

We found Mr. Tibbles the night before - hanging upside down by his leg on the field fence. Whenever he flopped around the field fence hit the electric fence. Who knows how long he was out there and how many times he got shocked. It was horrible. I have absolutely no idea how he ended up like that.

I ran as soon as I saw him - it was miracle I even found him because he was behind the chicken house. It was just by happenstance I walked around the corner. I yelled for my hubs to turn off the fence. I got my favorite salmon favorelle roo untangled but he was looking grim. Mr. Tibbles, like most of the male poultry, hates me... but he is the most beautiful roo we have and I love him. Plus just look at those feathers!

I carried him over to the Turkey House to bunk down for the night in a coop near Nibbles. There seemed to be about a 50/50 chance that he would/not make it. So when me and the dog went out there in the morning I was greatly relieved to find him alive. He hung out in Nibbles' pen for the day alone. Then again for evening chores.... I did the long slow walk out to see if he made it thru the day.

I didn't see him right away.... so I sent the dog in to check....and then I heard squawking. Whew! Of course he was hiding in a corner... bah! Mr. Tibbles why do you torment me so!

Mr. Tibbles seems to have fully recovered. He's staying in the garage today just to make sure the other roos don't go after him but I think he will be back to full roo speed tomorrow.

I'm very pleased to report that Mr. Tibbles is not dead.

Happy Saturday everyone! Did you find your most beautiful rooster hanging upside down in the fence?

Thank you for the birthday wishes!

Thanks for all the birthday wishes over on "the facebook." I was absolutely thrilled to receive so many birthday wishes!  Thank you, everyone, who took the time to send a fun greeting. I had a great day and yes, it started with the most perfect breakfast food, ice cream cake.

It was awesome.

But the best part of the day was that I met by friend for lunch and it was the best birthday treat ever. She always encourages me and reminds me of my successes. My lunch with her was the best gift ever.

And the sun shined. That was just what I needed.

And then my favorite chef posted a picture of my favorite life-changing meal.... and then acknowledged my comment on the facebook. I'm sure it was his marketing staff but I still went all fangirl over it. Whoot!

So I would say that this has been a very successful birthday.

I was going to head into civilization to buy The Most Expensive Cheese Knife In The History of the World... but then I remembered that the entire free world would be swarming the shopping centers. So that is going to have to wait until next week. But seriously, why is this $34? I need to have it. You know I take cutting the cheese very seriously.

Anyway, what was my birthday wish? For more homegrown pork and creepy meats for everyone!

Happy Friday everyone - thank you so much for making my birthday very happy.

Last minute gifts?

I wasn't going to do a post today as we are still recovering from Festivus.... but then I noticed that the Amazon Fire TV is on sale! You'll remember how excited I was about the Fire TV Stick... but now the set top box is $20 off for a price of $79!  If you are looking for a last minute gift this could be a winner.

Completely unrelated pic of our Peep. Can you feel the tortitude from there? 

Yes, that is the dog's new bed. She does not care.

I really wanted to spread the good news about this sale. I could not tell when the sale ends... so I ordered mine already. It won't get here until next week but that is OK, I'm still excited to try the voice commands. Altho I'm sure the dogs will probably think that I'm talking to them.

If you need a gift to give tonite/tomorrow (or just for yourself) you could go for a one year subscription to Amazon Prime. Not only does it provide two-day shipping for Amazon purchases, but you get access to tons of movies and TV shows. Why not give someone the gift of binging on The Wireduring their week off?

But if you need something to bring a hostess or you just are out of ideas.... I have to say that this homemade bittersweet chocolate syrup is fast, easy, and everyone loves chocolate.  Put it in a jar, slap a bow on top, and voila! Merry Christmas! I made a batch the other nite and yes, it is a breakfast food.

Happy Christmas Eve everyone! How was your Festivus? Are you TV binging? Eating hot fudge sauce out of a jar? Me too, friend, me too.


Editors note: I really wasn't expecting to do a post - least of all one with last minute affiliate links but really - this is a great sale. I'm not sure how they are going to handle HBO Go.. but I'm excited to find out. Anywhoo... this is your official notice that if you order something by clicking one of these links or use the black Amazon search box on the side of the page I will get a tiny portion of the sale. It never costs you one cent more and I never know who orders what.  If you like this blog, or if I've helped you at all in your farming efforts, just make a purchase from Amazon from one of the links, my store, or the black Amazon search box on the right side of this page. THANKS for your support!