Now THIS is a ham slab!

This isn't even a ham steak... it's a ham SLAB!

Yes. It's that big. Bigger than a plate. Isn't it beautiful. It tastes like victory.

Why aren't I talking about pigz this summer? Not getting them. None. Nope. Nada. Totally pig free. How do I feel about not having pigz? Fantastic. 

Don't I even feel a little bad? Nope.

After this misadventure I don't need to see those porkers for a good long time. As long as the freezers hold out we are living high on the hog and enjoying the fruits of our labor.

So far it has been a terrific pig-free summer. If you want to try your hand at pigz, tho, please check out these fine posts and I'll tell you all about it.

Happy Thursday, everyone, who wants a slab of ham?

Hog Harvest 2015 What Really Happened

The freezers are stuffed full of meat, the last of the bacons have been smoked, the pig heads are gone, and all that really needs to be done is to slice up the pancetta and put it in the freezer. Now I can just sit back and while away the days.... good riddance, pigz, now get in mah belly!

Like glorious meat pinatas....

But first we should recap The Grand Hog Harvest of 2015... which technically took place on January 1, 2016. But it was the 2015 pigz so let's stick with that.

However, before we go any further we need to put a cautionary warning here. So be forewarned all you pig snugglers, vegans, vegetarians, and tender folk THIS IS GOING TO BE A POST ABOUT BUTCHERING. THERE WILL BE SHOOTING, BUTCHERING, PIG GUTS, AND A RE-ENACTMENT OF THE "KALI MA" SCENE FROM INDIANA JONES. THERE WILL BE BAD JOKES AND TOTAL DISREGARD OF PIGZ AND THEIR MISERABLE LIVES. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE GOING TO BURST INTO TEARS. NEGATIVE COMMENTS WILL BE MOCKED, BLOCKED, AND NOT PUBLISHED. I'm not even kidding and you know it. If you are on the fence or maybe a little squeamish you might want to look at Little Mo who fixes everything with his deep, soulful eyes. 

The day was glorious.

No one was more eager than I was to run right out there and shoot them damn pigz - especially after they went on the lam. No one except my husband who is never in a hurry to do anything.... but I could barely get my jacket on and out the door before he marched right down there and shot them pigz where they stood.

The pigz were already in our smallest pen as punishment for gallivanting around the country side. So it was really just a matter of turning off the electric fence, getting the Dog Horde into place, and setting myself up as back up.  As always, killing a large animal can be dangerous and not just for that pig. So I was positioned well up on the hill and The Big Man went down to the pig yard armed and dangerous. He also had the official "sticking" knife in hand. I had my full sized axe ready just in case.

How To:
Step one: Position yourself safely, back to the audience, pig should be looking down and away from you - preferably at something on the ground. Like food.
Step two: Shoot pig.
Step three: Cut pig's throat to ensure bleed out.
Step four: Declare your victory.

That's kind of how it goes. You can find out more detail in the previous Hog Harvest recaps below or on the Pigs link at the top of this page.

Everything went smooth as silk.

The only bugaboo was that as soon as the fence was off the pigz tried to make an escape. But they were very interested in the bucket of food we brought down to distract them. So it was basically over for them in about 8 minutes, which included the standing around to ensure proper positioning and then waiting for Pig 2 to settle down and get lined up.

The shooting and stickin' were picture perfect. My husband is a wonder. A+

We let the dogs down to sniff around and see their fallen enemy. Zander loved it. Then we got to work.

The pigz were much much bigger than we thought. They were at the upper end of what is workable for us and were difficult to move around. That was a lot of dead weight. Literally.

We figured about 150lbs per half.

We de-headed and gutted the first pig on the ground which did not go as well as we would have liked.  First, we didn't do a good job of making sure the batteries for the sawsall were charged. So that was a little problematic. However, this did allow me the opportunity to finalize my victory over that pig by cleaving it's head from it's body with my axe. I am not even kidding. It was extremely satisfying.

Then I had to take the sawsall battery into the house and put it on the charger.

Second, working on the ground is not easy but we got the job done. We may or may not have lost control of the guts and they may or may not have ended up sliding around all over.  During this process I may or may not have yelled, "Ohmigosh I think I just stepped on someone's kidney! EW!"  And also, "Awoogala-woogla-woogla! Look I got a lung! EW!"

We eventually contained all the guts. The dogs couldn't get enough of this part. They sat watching from the dog yard, enraptured by the going's on.

Then we got the Bacon Wagon of DOOM and hauled the first carcass up the hill, halved it with the now-charged sawsall, and hung it from a tree like a lovely meat pinata. We did this so the carcass would cool as quickly as possible. After congratulating ourselves we marched back down the hill for pig two.

The next pig fell just inside the pen which was not perfect. So we got the 'come along' and hand cranked him out of the pen into our work space and onto the Bacon Wagon of DOOM. This worked much better and someone please remind me to do this again next time. It was extremely difficult to get that big of a pig onto the trolley but it was worth the effort. If we had a big tractor we could have just hung him from there. But we don't so we just old schooled it.

It was a lot of meat. What's for dinner? Pork. For the rest of the year. Every day.

Pig Two was hauled up the hill and we commenced with the skinning. It went mostly well. I gave myself a C+ for skinning that one. Not perfect but it went OK and didn't take very long. We used the sawsall to cut the carcass in half (length-wise) and then hung the halves from another tree.

Normally we would have hung the pork halves in the garage. However, the garage is full of dusty and stinky meat chickens who require heat lamps. A bad combination for meat hanging. So we took a chance and just left them outside. It worked out very well. The only downside was that it was very windy that night and some dust and pine needles fell on the carcasses. But not bad. I don't think we should have covered them because you really want all the heat to get out of the carcass. It was easy to trim those "dirty" parts off and really I'm over stating how much there was. I just wanted to get this in my notes.

Skinning the second carcass (which was the first pig up the hill) was a misery. You know all those videos showing people skinning a deer or whatnot while it's hanging? Yeah. That is for the birds. Did not work at all. We were both covered in ick and I was too embarrassed by such a sucky job that there was no way I was taking those bacons into the butcher. I am not trying that again.

And then that was it. We cleaned up ourselves and our work area. Took the tenderloins into the house and fried them up in a pan.

The next morning we started the parting up process. As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, these pigz were much bigger than we thought. My hubs put each half - gutted, de-headed, and skinned - at about 150 pounds each. They were VERY big.We should have butchered them about a month earlier but due to extremely warm weather - than me being sick a couple weeks - we just couldn't do it. Next time we will try to go for "earlier" rather than "later."

Usually there are some questions so I'll cover them here:

Was it gross?
Nope. It was glorious. I think it's interesting and we make a lot of stupid jokes to break the tension.

Didn't we feel bad killing those piggy-wiggies?
Nope. Not even.... especially since they ran off. They had it coming and I know how to hold a grudge.

But..but... those cute little faces....
Nope.

But...
NO!  No, we did not feel bad at all. Those pigz were full of meat and we would either lose our entire investment of money, time, feed in them and let it all go to waste or we could get out there and get the job done. We are "job done" kind of people. So we did. We are also fully determined not to go back to store meat.  So we were highly motivated to get our food.

Was there any crying?
Nope. But I think I saw a tear in Kai's eye when I handed her a huge, fresh bone.

Any PTSD from this?
No. None. I sleep well and full of pork.

To get a full picture of our History of Hog Harvests, the tools we used, and other more detailed descriptions of other porkocalypses you can read here:

Hog Harvest 2010
Hog Harvest 2011
Hog Harvest 2012
Hog Harvest 2013
Hog Harvest 2014

The number one reason folks find and read my blog is to learn about butchering. My goal is to make sure you know that you - yes you - real people can and should raise and butcher their own meat. Can you raise pigz and butcher them in your yard? Yes you can! We are just regular people. If we can do it than you can do it. Come on now.... if you are toying with the idea of raising pigz this year then I am here to tell you that yes you can! Yay meat!

Happy Wednesday everyone. How did your hog harvest go? Did you do that Kali Ma scene?

All's well that ends.... with bacon.

My victory is complete! Feast your eyes on this!  Running off isn't so funny NOW is it, porkers?

Tastes like victory. 

I went and picked up the bacons today..... what a great day!  I drove off happier than ever. It ended up that we only took in a total of 50lbs of bacon and ham. I think we normally have taken in more than that. The total cost for cured, smoked, and vacuum packed was $75. We thought it was a fair price and we are glad to pay extra for the better packaging.

There was an old timer in there picking up at least 800 pounds of beef. He turned to me gesturing at all that meat, winked, and said, "Serves her right for not having a calf!"  His wife looked mortified but I was glad that other folks have my same sense of farm humor.

Bacon song..... it's it beautiful?

You know it's been a weird week. A lot of hard things happened. It started with the neighbor's tree falling on our dog moat  - which destroyed the fence - and it ended with the loss of one of my favorite little ducks due to varmintry...and on top of all of that - winter finally showed up.

In the middle of all of these shenanigans the facebook account belonging to one Brunhilda Goosenstein got shut down... probably due to another sort of varmintry.

Thank you to everyone who came looking for me. I especially loved all the email and notes... and supportive comments. If you were wondering where I was you can find me here at the official facebook OFG blogger page.

The problem with this kind of facebook page is that it's for businesses. So it's not like your personal page. Unless my pals "like" and "comment" on the posts then you won't see all of my updates in your feed - just some of them.

I could pay the facebook so that everyone sees every post that I make.. but honestly. I'm pretty sure no one is that gripped by the goings on.  And I don't have enough pocket money to guarantee that everyone sees which TV show I'm watching right now (but it's this one.)

It's also hard to hold a conversation because of the way the comments sort. But worst of all.... I can't read your personal pages. So I can't give anyone encouraging "yay's" or ask about your dogs. I'm really wondering how Cziva is tho, so if anyone can tag her momma, I'd love an update. And a picture.

You'll remember this happened before....me and the facebook have danced previously.

Is my day ruined? Am I gonna "do" anything?

Nope.

Angry people are their own poison. I don't even have to "do" anything... they eventually will just rot from the inside. So as usual I'm just going to go on with my own life, make fun of certain people to my real friends, and never think about those people again. 

Bacon always looks like it is smiling you at. Bacon always loves you. Yay bacon!

In the meantime I'm trying to work it out with the facebook but you know that I have bad blood with them already.

Someone somewhere might be thinking they really got one over on me... But they don't have a freezer full of bacon that tastes like victory!

Happy Friday everyone!  Did you actually just pay $3 for some store tomatoes so you can make a BLT? Did you butcher that bacon from the carcass of your enemy while you yelled, "RUNNING OFF ISN'T SO FUNNY NOW, IS IT PORKERS!?!!?".... cuz I did.

Pancetta and bacon day!

The downstairs fridge is like a clown car for meat... it just keeps coming. I thought I was done except for the bacons? Nope. I found another shoulder. Honestly. We may need another freezer!

Pancetta - look at it! Actually this is the fresh piece that will become pancetta.

Yesterday was pancetta and bacon day. This means I made the cure for bacon and got them all started. I need to turn cured pieces everyday and then next Monday I will start the drying process.... and then smoking or hanging.

I'm pretty excited. I probably should have taken one of the other bacons into the butcher... I think I worked on about 20 pounds of belly yesterday.

Can you make bacon yourself? Sure! It's easy and fun. Here are some links so you can see how it's done. My only regret is that another year has passed and I still don't have a proper smoke house.

How to make bacon and pancetta

How to cure bacon - step by step

Bacon making tool list

Even more bacon making how-to's!

Smoking bacon - what it looks like

The most beautiful pancetta ever

What have I learned over the years of making bacon?

1. It's easier than you think. Don't freak yourself out. Just get the right tools and a good book.

2. Don't have pigz? Then go and order a fresh pork belly from your local butcher - or grocery store - and give it a try.

3. But you don't have the right set up? Oh for heavens sakes... there is a way to do it in your oven. You won't get the smokiest bacon ever but that is fine too.

4. But won't you die? Well. Considering that Chipolte is under a criminal investigation for their food practices... I'm pretty sure you may be safer making your own food.

5. So, why don't we do all the bacons ourselves?  My husband like the butcher bacon better for more traditional-style breakfast bacon. I like our homestyle bacon for cooking. We also don't have a slicer and I just can't get our bacons that thin. So we do half and half.

Today, I swear by heaven that I will be done with all this meat. However, we are getting pretty tight on space in the freezers. Yikes!  The pigz were bigger than we thought so we are kind of in a pickle. We'll work it out but thank you, all my pal's on 'the facebook' for generously offering to take some of this meat off my hands. Ha!

Happy Thursday everyone! Are you STILL processing meat? Did you cure your bacon?

Organic Refrigeration

One of the reasons we like to butcher when it's cold is that we can use our Organic Refrigeration....

We are gonna start selling organic refrigeration and make millions.Yes, we think we are hilarious.

Yep. We just put all that meat out on the deck. We filled up the beer fridge and we can't get anything else into our kitchen fridge...but still had tons of meat left.  So we put it in tubs and set it out on the deck.

Zander thought all the meat was amazing... he drooled all day.

Setting food outside is tricky business. I obsessively checked the internal meat temperature all day yesterday. It hovered just above 32* even tho the air temperature dipped into the 20*'s the meat did not freeze at all. But having the meat that cold made it easy to part up. I used those food grade five gallon buckets to hold the good bones, fat, and meat to grind later. Worked perfectly.

I have a lot more work to do today - and then grinding day will be tomorrow.  I'll get into the details when I get a second to sit down. But wow! What a hog harvest!

Happy Monday everyone! Are you driving your dogs nuts by having all that meat just sitting out there on the deck where they can see it? So close and yet so far?

It's a big ol' bacon.

I cut this from the belly of mine enemy.... there will be bacon. Oh yes there will be....

That's one of my heavy duty half sized baking sheets. That bacon is huge. 

Working on more meat today.... more details later when all of this pork is in the freezer.

Happy Sunday everyone!

It was a good day.

Those pigz don't think that running off is so dang funny anymore. Yesterday was a good day.

My axe served me mightly and mine enemy fell. Bubby thought it was awesome. 

We had a huge dinner of extremely fresh pork last nite. Today will be more of the same.

Happy New Year everyone! Did you get out there and teach them pigz a lesson? All day we made stupid jokes about "See if you run off again!"  We thought we were hilarious.

Pigz on the lam!

So there I was yesterday, busy. Doin' stuff. Happy. I thought it was a little unusual that I didn't see the pigz in the morning. I figured they would just hunkered down and they would eventually come up. What could possibly go wrong, right? I even made a saucy comment on 'the facebook' about not seeing the pigz. Hur hur hur...anybody seen my pigz? Hur hur hur......

Back in the salad days when the young pigz would not dream of traveling the countryside.

It turned out that the pigz were, in fact, on the lam. Running down the road. Off on a fine walkabout. Out there swashbuckling across the countryside having a big ol' pig time. They thought they were hilarious. I did not think they were hilarious. At all.

Normally I can see the pigz down out there pigging around. But on Sunday we had moved them down into the far far far hog lot down in the woods.  We spent a good portion of Sunday afternoon, in the rain, rebuilding the hog hut from a couple years ago. We filled it full of nice and dry fluffy straw. The weather was getting a big dicey so we figured moving them was our best move.

So yesterday morning I assumed the pigz were down there in their new lot. Me and the dog went down to check about mid-morning. Hum... how weird. They were not in the fluffy straw. Hum. Well. Maybe they found a better spot in the lot in Impenetrable Woods and I just couldn't see them. I called for them but most times the pigz don't come when I call. We have a mutual hatred. They didn't come up. It wasn't entirely unexpected.

Me and the dog went back up to the house. I made a huge pot of hard cooked eggs. I'd just call 'em and them pigz would come up like normal. They like eggs and would come for these. Easy peasy.

Just as the eggs finished cooking I found a message from the GoodNeighbor Mom saying that their son, "Jake," saw a couple of pigz running down the road and did I know where my pigz were?

We live on a very busy road. Not only was this a crisis because my pigz were on the lam, but livestock on the road is exceptionally dangerous. Not just for the stock, but hitting a 300lbs pig in your Hyundai is bad business. Someone could be killed. And not just the pigz. We've always kept up our fencing to keep all the stock off the road. If someone got hurt, or heaven forbid, killed then it would be on us.

A sort of white rage engulfed me. My pigz. On the road. Running.  I only had one thought..... You wanna run from me pigz? Fine. But you should know that I have a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long farming career. Skills that make me a nightmare for pigz like you...

I will look for you.
I will find you.
and I will kill you.

I grabbed my keys, my phone, and my dog. I only had my good barn jacket which is more like a sweatshirt but I didn't have time to get a winter coat or a hat. We jumped in the car and sped out of the drive, mud and gravel flying.

The first step to finding pigz? Start knocking on doors. Missing livestock is a great way to meet the neighbors. After a couple dead ends someone told me that no, she hadn't seen them but ol' Ralph had and he and Jessie were trying to get 'em.

Colloquially "get 'em" usually means shoot 'em dead. I couldn't really blame the neighbors - loose pigz were kind of fair game. Especially around here. I thanked her profusely and me and the dog raced off to Ralph's place.

Knowing that Ralph as pretty hard core I musically tootled my car horn when I pulled in the drive and hoped he wouldn't shoot me as a trespasser. He was standing there waiting for me.

"You seen my pigz, friend?" I asked.

"Yep. They are down there. " He wasn't really exacting about where "down there was" but "there" was a huge field, a pond, and a wooded ravine - all crisscrossed by fencing.  I apologized again and said I brought my best dog to flush them out.

"You can't have a dog here." He said pointing to his own hound. Fair enough. So I apologized again, asked if the pigz had caused any damage, and then asked if I could park there. He sent me on my way. I took the dog home, gathered supplies, and raced back.

As casually as I could I stood at the top of a huge hill and yelled, "Pig! Pig! Pig!" Nothing. I couldn't see them. For all I knew they were halfway to town by now. "Pig! Pig! Pig!"

Then I'll be damned. Here they came walking along the ravine. They looked in my direction. I called again. They moved a little faster. I swear not only did I see smiles on their little piggy faces but I audibly heard this song. They were overjoyed to see me. I shook the feed bucket filled with corn and eggs.  They hurried in my direction. I could not believe they were coming to me.

I tried to call my husband. At work. Over an hour away. In his work truck. He didn't answer. So I sent him an informative text.

The pigz were very very far away. They didn't know how to get to me and looked confused. I started across the field. I crawled thru barbed wire....a couple of times. I made my way down to them and soon the pigz and I were looking at each other across one last barbed wire fence. They smiled at me.

I have never hated any living creature as much as I hated those pigz. Ever.

"Come on, pigz!" I said as happily as I could force myself. I was holding up the fence so they could crawl under. I tossed out some eggs. It worked. Now I just had to get the pigz home. But we were far away and there were many fences and an extremely busy road to contend with.

My phone rang. I was my husband. "You need to come home," I said as calmly as possible. "Right. Now." There was no way he could drive home in his work truck but he assured me that he was on the way.

I looked at the pigz and formulated a plan. I started off towards home as best I could. They came along happily, eager for more eggs. I kept shaking the bucket and they skipped along behind me.

Then we got to the road. The dangerous, busy road. I had all bad options so elected not to try and walk 600 pounds of pork along a dangerous and busy road all the way to our house. I figured my best option was take them directly across the street and head to the GoodNeighbor's place. They had several pens and a lot of fencing. It had to work.

The merry pig parade and I stepped out onto the road. I could hear traffic coming from both directions and I was in between two very blind hills. There is no way a semi driving 50mph or a teenager in a beater Nissan going 75mph would see me until the last second and one or all of us would be dead. We had to do this. Now.

"Come on Pig! Pig! Pig!" I called luring them with more eggs tossed to the other side of the road.

And then it happened. A car appeared. One of those nice Lexus SUV's. I started waving my arms wildly and by the Grace of God she got stopped. And then she started laughing. Hysterically. I could hear her from inside of her luxury car. Laughing. At me. I couldn't blame her - I'd laugh too.

"I used to be somebody!" I yelled to her. She couldn't hear me. Due to laughter.

I hurried the pigz into the newly plowed field - we were safely across the busy road. I could see the GoodNeighbor's house now and I started screaming for Jake. Me and the pigz started walking down the drive. Me ambling along with two pigz in tow.

"This is the best day ever!" This Pig said to That Pig. I hated them even more. I hated them with the intensity of a thousand suns. I would have my vengeance. Soon. If I had thought to get the gun I would have shot those pigz right there and gutted them in my neighbor's driveway. I wouldn't even have felt bad.

Jake appeared and we started strategizing. He sprang to action and got the pigz herded up and led into a holding pen. You remember Jake. He's saved our bacon before. He is like the Pig Whisperer. I loved Jake when he was a little boy but now that he's grown he is one of the finest young men that I'll ever know. He works hard, is respectful, helpful, and is a good and decent person. And he helped me save the pigz. Again. I thanked him for helping me get the pigz penned up and he went on his way to work.

I waited for The Big Man.

Behind me in the other lot the GoodNeighbor's cows were giving me mean looks. You know that cows don't like me. At this point I don't particularly like them either.

I called my husband again. "Status?" I demanded. I could hear that he was driving fast. Real fast. He was still about 20 minutes out. I stood hating the pigz and wary of the cows behind me. I couldn't leave. If the pigz got out of the holding pen they would be lost again. As it was they were trying to make an escape.

"DON'T!" I said in a voice that makes its point across all ages and species. They stopped.

Finally I heard the unmistakable sound of my husband's truck. I started up the hill toward the drive.

Seeing me cold, wet, and bedraggled The Big Man whipped off his coat and wrapped me in it. I provided data points, possibly courses of action, and my long list of complaints about the day. There was no easy solution. We could shoot the pigz where they stood but the wind had changed and it would be too warm to hang them overnight. The most direct way home required taking down a lot of fence. We had no trailer to transport them home... and even if we did they pigz wouldn't get in it....

"Cut the fence." He said. It was a drastic step. I hurried off to do just so.

Before I knew it the pig parade jauntily made it's way across a couple of properties and thru the huge hole I cut in the fence. The pigz were mostly incarcerated in the Dog Moat. They were ruining it. I hated the pigz even more. They skipped and danced around inside the Dog Moat like it was the best thing ever.

"Keep it up, pigz. Soon I will eat your liver with green beans and a nice Chianti." They didn't hear me because they were too busy rooting up the Dog Moat. My hatred for them deepened.

We thanked the GoodNeighbors for all their help. We laughed about the situation. I told them how their son had performed admirably.

For the next several hours we alternated between chasing the pigz all over our property and weaving a web of electric fence inside our smallest hog lot. While we were working the pigz would not stay in the woven wire fence. Once they tasted with sweet taste of freedom all they wanted to do was roam around and see the world.

At one point I saw my husband chasing them down by the pond. He had a hammer in his hand. I have to tell you I would have been OK with just about any possible outcome of that situation.  He got them back inside the fence.

Finally we made all the connections, closed all the gaps, and we plugged in the fence.

Here is a fact you should know about electric fence. If you have a charger that is made for 100 miles and strong enough to hold in buffalo and you restrict it to a small area say.... several hundred yards.... that fence will concentrate all that power and intensify it.

I swear to you I can hear the fence crackling up here inside the house. It's probably burning any wayward blade of grass that happens to touch it. Last nite, when I plugged it in I felt, and saw, the surrounding counties dim just a little...and the entire barnyard collectively took a step back from the perimeter at the same time.

It was done. There would be no escape. The pigz were contained.

We sat there for a good long while last nite. Down by that electric prison, watching the pigz test the fence and we smiled every time one of them caught the charge. The dogs hooted in delight. My Bubby peed in the general direction of the pigz and my beautiful Kai licked her lips looking at those porkers.

Well past dark we heard the shrieking squeals of pigz hitting the mega-ton powered electric fence and their cries filled the night sky... I nodded contentedly.

"That'll do, pig, that'll just do."


Happy Tuesday everyone. Did your pigz get loose? Did you find them? Are they really wishing they had not taken off on a grand adventure? We'll finally get a cold night in a day or so. And then... then pigz, I will have my vengeance.

Any minute now.... And butcher days.

We got a little snow last nite... it actually stuck to the ground. Kai was over joyed and went completely snow crazy. There rest of us glared at it.

There is is. The White Death.

However....

While I don't mind a mild winter at all.... there are no freezing nights or days in the foreseeable future. This creates a problem. A pig problem. We need to get those pigz in the freezer. Soon. They are nice and delicious and I am tired of feeding them. They should be feeding me.

My kale has been hanging in there...now snowed on.

But I need two frozen nights and days. We like to butcher at about 20*. This ensures the ground is nice and frozen and it also allows us to cool the pork halves quickly by hanging them outside or in the garage. Then it gives me two days to get the meat cut up, portioned, and into the freezer. A 50* day is just not going to cut it.

So any day now we can have a little bit of winter. Otherwise my dreams of a bacon filled Christmas will be over.

Just in case you'd like to see how things go around here for butcher day... you can check out these links. Obviously these are posts ABOUT BUTCHERING so they are detailed accounts of what happens. If you don't want to know then for crying out loud don't click on them. Otherwise... I think the whole thing is pretty interesting.

The best step by step hog butchering post.

How to prepare for butcher day - and the worst thing that could happen. 

Hog Harvest 2014

Hog Harvest 2013

My favorite self portrait. Ever. No really, it's glorious.

That one time we had to butcher not-in-winter and it sucked.

Hog Harvest 2011

That should give you plenty of information. But folks always have questions so I'll be happy to answer them or just give a cheer if you need some encouragement.

Pig update - look at those hams!

The pigz are looking glorious - nice and meaty. Despite our shockingly late start with this year's pigz I think we are going to finish strong.

Pigz with husband for scale. 

So why haven't I talked about the pigz very much this season? Well. There's not much to tell. Also, our schedule has worked out so that I don't have to be around the pigz very much. The Big Man has been able to do most of their feeding. Mostly me and the dogs just throw extra apples, turnips, and pumpkins over the fence at the pigz. I'm very glad how this has worked out. Everyone is much happier.

That's right, pig, eat up! This one throws his food around.

So, when are we going to butcher the pigz? Soon. We are thinking in about a month. We've been pouring on the feed this entire summer to hurry them along. We've used more hog chow this year than we ever have. Honestly, I want to get them switched over to all corn for about a month before we got to butcher.

And we need it to be nice and cold. While I appreciate the mild fall... we need a couple of frozen nights to really get the right butcher conditions. First, it's much easier if the ground is frozen. Next, we need to hang the sides of pork somewhere.

Look at those hams! I like pork butts and I cannot lie...

With the set up we have right now (the meat chickens in the garage) we will probably have to hang the porks outside. An extremely cold nite is required to get the meat chilled below 40*. Then it's easier if the meat can continue to chill outside while I part up the pigz inside.

Can you grow out pigz and then butcher them in your yard? Yes you can!  All you really need is good fencing and the confidence to get the job done. If you want to read more about how to prepare yourself for butcher day - and the worst thing that could happen - then here is a post for you. 

Zander checks out the enemy... I mean... his future dinner.

If you are ready to run right out there and get to harvesting your pigz then be sure to check out the best Step by Step Guide that we use. It is our only reference for butcher day.

And if you need tools there here is the list of what we actually use. Mostly you just need a couple of strong people, some good knives, and a sense of humor.You can also check out my Pigz page to see more posts - how to's, what happened, and all about fencing.

What do you think? Are you getting ready for your hog harvest? Are you thinking about it? How can I help you? Questions? Encouragement? Can you butcher your own pigz? Yes you can!

The morning where sinners had to stay home and fix the fence.

Today was the morning wherein I was late for church because the pigz got out of the fence. Sinners had to stay home and get the hot wire fixed. Also, Zander brought us a headless snake. I was fairly certain I had read about this day in Revelation.

There they are repeat offenders. Recidivism. 

Of course, I had to report to the pastor why my husband was not there this morning. The pastor more or less agreed to hold a special alter call for Husbands Who Should Have Listened next week. We'll see how that goes.

While I was gone The Big Man got the fence all fixed up. Shortly afterwards the pigz lost interest in getting out of the fence entirely.

The Dread Commander Zander. Does not think pigz are funny. Snakes are kind of funny.

The first thing that happened on this Day of Days was that Zander brought us a well-dead snake. Headless, such as it was. There was hopping around and squealing. We took the snake from Bubby and tried to distract him.

It didn't work. But Bubby's attention was turned toward the hog lot once we started doing chores. The pigz were out.

"HONEY!"  I yelled, helpfully. "THE PIGZ ARE OUT!"

I got My Most Excellent Good Dog and we escorted the pigz back into their pen. I asked my husband if he was sure he shouldn't just stay home and work on the electric fence? Nope. I shrugged and went about my business.

My Most Excellent Good Dog. With his ball. That's all he ever wants.

Just before we were supposed to get in the car I looked down the drive and the pigz were headed out of Dodge.

"HONEY!"  I yelled, helpfully. "THE PIGZ ARE OUT! Again."

I got the dog again. There was running. And chasing. And soon My Most Excellent Good Dog got the pigz out of the woods by the driveway and got them headed toward my husband. The pigz followed The Big Man while me and the dog kept nipping a their heels. My mean looks and the dog's wolfish grin kept them pigz hustling right along.

"I imagine I'll just stay here and work on the fence." The Big Man said. I just nodded.

So all's well that ends in electric fence. When I reported the events of the day on 'the facebook' I was glad to see I was not the only one who was late for church because the pigz got out... or that the sheep were playing hilarious pranks on others.

Slow walking malcontents. Do not think the dogs are funny.

The dogs and I just went down and made sure the pigz were still in the fence. They are.  So we are once again at Pig Containment level 100%. The pigz, however, were wary to come out from the bramble. They knew the dogs were with me. They have had plenty of Dog#1 today.  Frankly, I've had plenty of the pigz today.

My beautiful Kai. She smells something. Could be pigz.

Happy Sunday everyone! Were you late for church because of escaped livestock?

Pigz in a new pasture.

Moving the pigz was easy enough... that is... after they got over their terror of the electric fence. It took them a while to realize that not only was the gate open but that the hotwire fence was gone.

 This is the before shot of the new pig pasture. Also, dog butts. I see this view all the time.

Then it was just a matter of them being curious enough to make their way down the path and into the new pasture. The Big Man just started setting up the pigz waterer and food bowls in the new place and the pigz headed in the direction of fun and adventure.

Moving pigz can be difficult. We've found it's easier to make pigz think it is their idea to go to the new place and that it is super fun.... as opposed to chasing them around and making everyone unhappy. My husband had mowed a path across the field connecting the old and new pig pastures. They walked right down it.

The evil pig menace.

The only bad thing about the new pasture is that we have zero electric set up. This could be a problem and we really need to work on it. However, these pigz are not very aggressive and are kind of laid back...unlike the mean pigz we had that climbed the field fence like monkeys.

The morning after the big pig move the dogs and I ran right down to make sure the pigz were still there. Zander and Kai didn't know that we moved them so they were very interested in what was rustling around in the field.

"Pig pig PIG!" I yelled. A couple of times.

One of the things I love so much about Zander is that he is very bold. He charges right at whatever is coming at him...and then he pees in it's general direction. It doesn't matter what it is... he'll pee at it. And not break eye contact. He is very dominant. He's our big Bubby.

One of the funny things about Zander and Kai is that their tails curl tighter in the face of adventure. Or danger. Here you can see that Bubby's normally "saber" like tail is in a tighter curl.

What about my Dog#1? Titan knew that the pigz were in the new pen. When I asked him, "Where are the pigz?" He cut his eyes at the new pen and trotted right down there. Kai was sniffing the ground everywhere and wondering what goings on had gone on the night before. But then she realized something was in the bramble and headed straight towards them.

The pigz finally crashed out of the brush and the dogs were very excited to see them. The pigz were not exactly excited to see the dogs and were more disappointed than anything that I hadn't show up with a bucket of food. So I went and got one.

Pigz are moved - mission accomplished. Now we need to work on the fence.

Happy Wednesday everyone! Are your pigz moved onto the new pasture? Did you have any trouble getting them there?

Pigz - an update

The pigz are growing right along. In fact they are doing great.

 The other day I heaved that huge banana squash over the fence to them. They loved it. 

I also gave them some apples and I thinned the turnips so I have them the greens. It was like a nice pork salad.

 Apples and pork.

They have pretty much hogged down the first lot that we put them in so the next step is for us to move the pigz to their new pasture. More on that later. But for now the dogs and I are headed out.

Happy Tuesday everyone!

Happy Pigz

Those are some happy pigz.....

Enjoy it now, porker. 

Mostly I've limited my contact with the pigz to taking the dogs down there to glare at them. They are alright. Bacon. All I see is bacon.

Altho, we did have one incident where one of the pigz kissed Kai!  But that is another story for another day. I have to get out there. We are having glorious weather.

Happy Tuesday everyone!

It starts.....

Zander! What's that!?!?!

What is it? What do you see?

Pigz. It's pigz.

And so it starts.....

Happy Wednesday everyone! Did you get pigz? What does your dog think?

Ham Cam

I have to get geared up to think about pigz..... that is the furthest thing from my mind right now. So here is my inspiration.....

I think Steven Raichlen would be proud. Check out those cross hatch marks...

Hear the sizzle on the ham cam....

OK. I can do this. I'm going to turn mine eye toward pigz and all their porky glory. Soon.

Do you want to get started with pigz? Here are some links to get you going....

How to grow out feeder pigs on the cheap- Part 2

Part 1 is actually pretty important... do you know what you are getting into with pigz? Pigz can be big, mean, and dangerous. You gotta have good fencing and be ready for a strong animal that might not be cooperative. That Babe movie is a lie. And don't I know it.

Once you get them grown out you gotta do something with them. Have a plan to get them taken to the butcher... or why not do it yourself? We do! Can you butcher at home? Sure. THIS IS A GRAPHIC BUTCHER POST WITH PICTURES AND EVERYTHING. DO NOT CLICK ON IT IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO SEE HOW TO MAKE MEAT!

Want to learn more? Check out my Pig Page here.

Happy Monday everyone! Are you grilling ham slabs?

Pigs, pigs, pigs, pigs....and what to feed them.

You'll excuse me for doing a fast 'here's a buncha links' post for today but I'm having breakfast with Frank Underwood this morning. If I really apply myself I think I can watch all 13 hours today.

Here is what the pigz got one day.

One of my most searched for phrases is "what to feed pigs." Or feeding pigs. This is my most popular pig post - it's our basic guidelines for how we feed out our pigs to butcher weight. We get the pigz in the spring, feed them all summer on a combination of bagged feed/corn, our farm products (goatmilk, eggs, and veg), and pasture. In the fall/early winter we butcher them ourselves. (You can find a lot of good how-to links here.)

Here's what we fed pigz. Turnips, baby! Plant a whole bunch of those. 

We're all stuck in the house dreaming of our summer projects, right? OK so who is going to start with pig this year?  Is it hard? Nope. Can you do it? Yep! What do you need?

1. Really, really, really good fencing. This is the one thing that folks try and skimp on thinking they are smarter than pigz. Nope. The problem is that pigz are very very strong. Way stronger than you - so what you might think is secure is no big deal for them. Get extremely good fencing and then put hotwire on the inside - the strongest charger you can buy.

2. Somewhere to put them. Preferably far, far, far from your house and your neighbors. Run as much hose as you can away from the house. Then buy another hose and put the pigz are the end of it. You'll thank me for it when you don't have to smell those smelly pigz on a hot day.

3. Water. Make sure your hose runs all the way out there. Hauling water for pigz is the pits. It might sound like a good idea but in the summer you'll need a wallow for them to keep cool. They need a lot more water than you think. Then there is this foolishness. Yeah, I had to dump that out and refill it.

4. A feed plan. Sure, you can feed out pigz on bagged hog chow. Many real hog farmers wonder why we bother with our farm products 'n pasture approach. Bagged food will work just fine. You'll get a pig that you can butcher...... but it's just not our bag, baby. We could just buy pork if all we wanted was a commercially raised pig. But we like to stay away from the medicated foods and mostly soy grain diet. Plus, bagged hog chow can be expensive. We are cheap. So doing it our way works out.

5. A safety plan. Pigz can be big, mean, and dangerous. There is a point at which I do not get into the pen with them alone. My hardworking Dog Horde are trained to come with me into the pig yard if I have to go in there. This works for me really well. I also never go into the pig yard without something in my hand to defend myself. I never let them get between me and an exit. And like the ocean, I never turn my back on them. Farming is the most dangerous occupation - and some of that is because you are working with big, sometimes unpredictable animals. So have a plan and work that plan.

I should note that at this point there is always someone who gets all in a fit over my emphasis on having a safety plan. They will start going on and on about "all's you gotta do is snuggle them pigz and then..." Yeah. Well. That's great. If that works or you fine.  But that does not work for me. My husband can walk into the pig yard just fine - but even he has been tumbled over a time or two. Every real hog farmer I know has a story about "that one time." The worst thing that can happen here is if I get hurt. So we are cautious on purpose and if you are not then fine - but why would you try and advise me to be less cautious?

For the record, no I am not afraid of the pigz. Yes, I am "tough" enough. I wield my Dog Horde of big tough hard working occasionally hard to train dogs like a war hammer, I can reduce a grown man to tears, you do not want to get into a name calling contest with me... but to them pigz all I am in bait. So you can go on and snuggle them pigz all you like. I will not. And honestly - I just think I smell delicious and that's why them pigz want a piece of me. So do what works for you.

Remember that you can find a lot more links here - including our step by step butcher guide. Can you raise pigz and then butcher them yourself? Yes you can!

Happy Friday everyone! And now if you will excuse me.. Mr. Underwood will see me now.

How to prepare for butchering pigs. And the worst thing that could happen.

One of my friends is about to butcher pigs for the first time. They were asking me questions about tools and such...and admitted they were a little nervous. That is just fine. One of the hard things about butchering is that most folks don't know what to expect. If you have an idea about how it's going to go then it will be much easier. Are you trying to figure out if you should take your pigs in for processing or butcher at home?

 Growing bacon.

Let's talk about how to prepare for butchering and about what the worst thing that could happen.

But first, let's put a disclaimer here that we are going to have a hard farm talk. If you think you are going to be upset then look here at Nicholas and Bitty. You might want to click around on cat links and stuff and then tomorrow we'll have a funny post or something. But let's be clear - if you think you are going to be upset then just look away. I always said I would tell you the truth about farming and we do not paint false picture here. And you should know by now that if you have something terrible to say then I will not publish your comment. Questions? Sure. But we don't fight here or make fun of anyone.

Ready?

It helps to have some idea of what the butchering day will look like. So click around and read up, check out videos, ask friends, and do your research. I have a bunch of links for our butcher days so you can learn exactly what will happen as our Hog Harvest day goes along. Most recently this is what happened when we butchered about a month ago.

You also need a good set of step by step instructions. This is the only reference that we use. Just like the rest of life, everyone has "their" way of doing things. It turns out that there is no "right" way - it's just what works best for you. Some traditional methods, for instance hanging the hog to gut it or scalding it, do not work at all for us. So we don't do those things. Do what works for you.

Now you need to have your tools in order. Here is my best link for our hog processing tools. You would think that you might need a bunch of fancy equipment but not really. Remember too that it was not so long ago that just about everyone had to do some kind of butchering - so technically it is not difficult. A couple of good knives, a meat saw, and two reasonably strong people is all you really need.

Then you need somewhere to chill the meat. This is the main reason that folks butcher in fall/winter. We like to butcher at about 20* but really you just need to be able to chill to meat below 40* as quickly as possible. An unheated garage, barn, or heck just hanging it from a tree in freezing weather is a great place to chill a big carcass. If you really don't have any good options then you can cut up the carcass halves into thirds (hams, sides, shoulders) and put it in a fridge. So either take everything out of your fridge or get a fridge just for butchering. Put it at the lowest/coldest setting and shove the huge chunks of meat in there. In a pinch you can get a couple of huge coolers and put the meat on ice... but I would not rely on this entirely.

Unlike other meat, pork does not benefit from hanging or aging. Mostly you just want to hang it overnite so that it is easier to work with when you part it up. You really don't want to ruin all that meat so make sure you have a good set up for chilling.

Now the hard part. Someone has to march out there and shoot that pig.

This is where the shuffling of shoes and the avoiding of eyes starts. From what I can tell this is main reason that folks do not want to butcher at home. If one of you is a hunter then this is no big deal and you just get out there and get the job done. However, if no one in your group has ever slaughtered before, or killed anything as big as a pig, you might want to look around for help.

Almost everyone knows someone who hunts.  Or just about everyone knows an old timer who is willing to help. Check around for extended family members, folks you know at church, or an older farmer who is happy to get you started.

Even if you find someone to do the deed then you still have to march out there and maybe you aren't sure how you will react.

So let's pick this apart.

I've really been enjoying the series, "A Chef's Life" on PBS so I was glad to see their Christmas special included butchering a hog. This video is a pretty good demonstration of how folks react to the slaughtering part of the business. They start the hog butchering segment at about 32:46 with an introduction to the farm, preparing for the process, and then the actual shooting at 35:21. They show the farmer shooting the gun but they do not show the pig.  Watch this a couple times to see how folks are reacting. Maybe you'll get a better sense of what happens so you can get an idea of how you will react if you are not sure.

The thing I loved best about this was that the farmer was absolutely calm and was in complete control. Based on what he was saying, I believe the production people were trying to get the 'best shot' as in... the best camera view... but the farmer wanted the 'best shot' for the pig. He said something like, "No, I can't wait. If I get the shot I have to take it."

This farmer knew that the most important thing was to drop that pig on the first shot. From what I can tell it went perfectly. The other people's reactions are about what I'd expect. Some people seemed relieved, some seemed to think, "So.. that's it?" (And yep, that is it.) But I was pretty disappointed that the gal (Vivian Howard) kind of squirmed away, covered her eyes, and wouldn't watch.

I really wanted her to be the hero here. I really wanted her to show that real people can get out there and get the job done. I really wanted her to stand steadfastly and be interested instead of having an emotional reaction. I really wanted these things because I really want folks not to be afraid of butchering. I feel like this was an opportunity to give courage to folks instead of keeping that gap between food production and regular people.

I think it's a "thing" for people to think the only way to honor the process is to stand there and cry. I think there is an expectation that you need to have some kind of outburst or you are not a good person. But that does not have to be the case and I think promoting this idea keeps people from doing their own butchering.

So if I was to edit this video to encourage people to butcher, I would take that gal out and put in an unkempt, ill-dressed gal with a bad pony tail and a dirty shirt holding a full sized axe, with at least two dogs standing behind her. A big man would shoot the pig, it would go down, and that short, sturdy gal would say "Good work, honey" and then release the dogs to go and sniff around. That's what happens here. There is no crying or dramatic faces.

That's not to say that you shouldn't cry. That is entirely up to you. But you do need to control yourself and not become a distraction from the folks who are doing the job.  The fact is there are a lot of uncertainty during the shooting part of butchering and everyone needs to focus on getting the job done.

There is always the possibility that their might be a "bad kill."  What is that? Exactly what it sounds like. Some people think this is the worst thing that could happen. There are a lot of things that can go wrong when you are shooting a large animal. One of them is that the first shot does not work. If that pig does not drop to his knees then you have a situation on your hands.

Fortunately for us we've only had a few bad shots and none of them were dangerous. The best situation is that you can fire another shot and drop the pig. The worst is that the first shot will only make him mad, or that he will be scared and run, and even worse that pig will turn on you. You need to be prepared for any of these situations.

Having a "kill pen" set up is an easy way to better control the situation. Unless that pig just steps right over the hog panel like it was a spider web. So mostly your best hope is to control the situation using food to get the pigs attention, taking your time, and remaining very very calm until you get the perfect shot.

We did not have the perfect kill for our last butcher day. The first pig shifted and the bullet did not hit its mark. Fortunately the pig did not run and he did not turn on my husband....but the pig did walk away. We both stood back to see if the pig would go down or if my husband could get into a better position for a second shot. It took a few minutes and the pig wandered into the worst of the mud. Eventually the pig went down to his knees and my husband was able to safely get close and take a second shot.

This was not optimal at all because the pig was in the deep mud - which is why we had to get the pulleys and such to drag the carcasses out of the mud. Fortunately, the second pig went down perfectly with one shot.

What do you do if you have a "bad kill?" You do the best you can. You realize that the worst thing to happen isn't a bad kill - let's face it it's over for that pig as soon as you walk out there - but the worst thing is that someone gets hurt. By "someone" I mean a person...you, whoever is helping you, or any onlookers. This is why you need to be very careful, be prepared, and practice good gun safety.

One thing that can be very upsetting is that the pig could do a lot of screaming. This can sound horrible. However, you need to keep in mind that even carrying a small pig to it's new pen results in a lot of screaming. Pigs, even in good circumstances, can be loud. An enraged, wounded, or scared hog can be extremely loud.

At this point sometimes folks are over whelmed and the possibility of a bad kill has just scared them off. Maybe they think that maybe they should just hitch up the stock trailer and take their hogs into the butcher. It might seem like a better idea since a professional will do a better job, right? Maybe. I dunno. If the butcher has a bad kill then how would you know? It's a tough thing to think about but if you want to grow out your own hogs then you need to decide how you will handle it.

How do you prepare yourself mentally? To figure out how to think about butchering? Trying to figure out how to not hurt something you are about to kill?

By realizing that this is not a new thing. Slaughter and butchering are only new to you if you haven't done it before. This is the way people have lived for most of the entirety of our time on this earth. If you want to quibble it's kind of like "hunting and gathering" but in a really small and contained space. Regular people have gathered their tools, and their courage, and marched out there to get the job done. Pray for courage. If you need someone to cheer you on then I'll be that person. If you are scared then acknowledge it, think about it, talk to folks, do your research.

But don't believe the lie that butchering is just some weird ancient tradition that only some people are able to do. Regular people just like you can do this. If we can do it, then you can do it. Can you butcher your own pig that you raised? Yes, you can.

Now who is going to get pigz this year? We are already thinking about our next batch!

Prepping for pigs

It seemed like just yesterday we were prepping for hog harvest day and how we are about to start getting ready for having pigz in the spring. Well, things move pretty fast around here.

 Pigz. Not horrible when they are kind of small. Then stuff like this happens.

The dogs and I have been out scouting the property for where we will put the next pigz. The last pigz did such a great job of clearing that I want to be able to use those lots for production. As the spring progresses we'll be doing burning, clearing, tilling, and planting cover crops.

They end up being big. Real big. So much bacon.....

When finding a good location for pigz I need to keep a few things in mind:

1. Have them as far away from the house as possible. Pigz stink. They just do. For everyone who is about to say, "Well's all's you gotta do to keep them from stinkin' is..... " Just stop. I do not like the smell of pigz. At all. In any form. I can smell them a long way off and they stink. Bad.

2. But they can't be so far away that the hose doesn't reach. They need a lot of water and hauling it by the bucket is difficult and annoying.

3. We need to make sure they are well fenced in. You know us, we can whack up fencing anywhere but we need to make sure the lay of the land is fenceable.

4. They need cover - specifically they need to be in the woods. It's cooler and they like the shade - the woods also provide protecting from wind and rain.

5. I need to build a new Hog Hut. The indomitable Hog Hut 2008 finally fell to shambles. That structure was entirely free and included roofing tiles I literally dug out of the ground. It was subject to much mocking but it kept all those pigs bone dry all of those years.

Pigz are best on pasture where they can get out there and pig around. 

We don't need many supplies but I do need to go around and find all those feeders and waterers. We'll use the big tub for the waterfowl until the next pigz are big enough to use it. 

I won't need to think about feeding and chow until the pigz arrive but we'll use the strategy that has always worked for us. Of course, one of my goals is to plant even more crops for them including beets, turnips, beans, and whatever else I can get going. I'll be working on my planting strategy as we go along.

One thing that we will do better this year is to manage all the "spring rush" eggs... our hennies will start laying up a storm soon. I need to make sure I stay on top of taking them up, hard cooking them, and putting them into the freezer for the pigz this summer. Last year I could have done a better job at that.

Let's face it. The only reason I put up with them is because of the chops. Yes. That is a dinner plate.

I'll also put in a call to the guy we got the pigz from last year. Maybe we'll get lucky and find a new source for Tamworths. The problem is that this heritage breed are now so popular that they are expensive. So we'll see what we can work out.

You can check out more about raising pigz here - on my What I Know About Pigs page.

Happy Friday everyone! Are you prepping for pigz?