How to Render Lard
Want your own non-chemical-ized lard? Its easy! But first, a bit of a primer about hog fat:
There are two kinds of fat on that hog... the normal marbling and fat under the skin and around the cuts of meat....and the 'leaf' which is in the body cavity surrounding the organs and such. I do not know why, but the 'leaf' fat makes the most smooth, creamy, and heavenly lard so you want to keep that separate and use for baking.
Even tho the leaf is the best for baking... the regular ol' fat does a fine job and you can use it for frying, for making a big ol' dog food omelette (like I do for the hard workin' farm dogs), or even in crusts. It has a 'heavier' more distinct taste but I find its great for quiches and such. The best use of lard that I have seen, but not tried myself, is by the Amish ladies who fry donuts in it... yummmm......
Back to the “how to”:
Step 1: Go out and kill your pigs and dress them. What? Don't have pigs? Ok, we'll cover that later. What? Don't know how to dress now-dead-pigs? Oh golly, I'll queue that one up also. But if you really don't have pigs... check around for a local butcher who is willing to give/sell you a big ol' bag of pork fat. Got it? Onward.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Five things I DON'T love about farming
Five things I DON'T love about farming:
1. You are your own boss. That means its all on you – it can be a lot of responsibility. Sometimes our motto is: “there is no fun in farming.” Gotta get up at 5:30am because its going to be scorching hot that day and the hens need to get outside asap? Yep thats all you. Run outside at midnite in your underpants, guns blazing because the dogs are barking at something that is trying to kill the turkeys. Rally, baby - and get out there. And if your plan doesn't work and its all a big failure.. that's right. Its all you. Its not always fun to be The Boss of You.
2. You CAN go to the feed store in your barn clothes, but if you forget and you DO go to WalMart... well, you're just biding your time until you show up on an email that gets passed around to all the corporate monkeys you used to work with. Smile sunshine, you're on “The People of WalMart.”
3. You get to be outside everyday. That means, rain, shine, snow, sleet, 105* heat index.. there is no such thing as "a day off." And you'll constantly be dirty no matter what.
4. You have to teach yourself to be really observant. How could yo miss that little hen limping? Dang. Now you need to give her antibiotics and an emergency bumblefoot surgery in the bathroom. One of your best layers is going to be off her feet - and off the job - because YOU didn't notice. She'll look at you like you're a bad mommy. You are a bad mommy. Shame on you.
5. You have an excuse to be a weather geek – which is only fun for you. Your friends will cringe when you launch into your “weather Tourette's”... no, they don't care about the current barometric pressure or that there are cumulonimbus clouds with a vertical build on a north by northwest trajectory......
But still – its better than a corporate job.
1. You are your own boss. That means its all on you – it can be a lot of responsibility. Sometimes our motto is: “there is no fun in farming.” Gotta get up at 5:30am because its going to be scorching hot that day and the hens need to get outside asap? Yep thats all you. Run outside at midnite in your underpants, guns blazing because the dogs are barking at something that is trying to kill the turkeys. Rally, baby - and get out there. And if your plan doesn't work and its all a big failure.. that's right. Its all you. Its not always fun to be The Boss of You.
2. You CAN go to the feed store in your barn clothes, but if you forget and you DO go to WalMart... well, you're just biding your time until you show up on an email that gets passed around to all the corporate monkeys you used to work with. Smile sunshine, you're on “The People of WalMart.”
3. You get to be outside everyday. That means, rain, shine, snow, sleet, 105* heat index.. there is no such thing as "a day off." And you'll constantly be dirty no matter what.
4. You have to teach yourself to be really observant. How could yo miss that little hen limping? Dang. Now you need to give her antibiotics and an emergency bumblefoot surgery in the bathroom. One of your best layers is going to be off her feet - and off the job - because YOU didn't notice. She'll look at you like you're a bad mommy. You are a bad mommy. Shame on you.
5. You have an excuse to be a weather geek – which is only fun for you. Your friends will cringe when you launch into your “weather Tourette's”... no, they don't care about the current barometric pressure or that there are cumulonimbus clouds with a vertical build on a north by northwest trajectory......
But still – its better than a corporate job.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Lard Inflicted Injury
Farming is not only the oldest profession... its the most dangerous. Seriously. Take today for instance, I got a lard inflicted injury today. Can you believe it?
Me (holds out hand to show my hubby): They got me.
The Big Man: Holy cow!!! Are you alright?!?!
Me: It's just a flesh wound (I've always wanted to say that).
TBM: Seriously - how did you do that?
Me: On the lard
TBM: But lard isn't sharp!
Me: But its kinda slippery.....
TBM: Do you require medical attention?
Me: Nope. I poured tequila on it. (beats chest, inhales deeply) I'm good.
Just another day, another narrowly escaped visit to the ER. Note to self: Them pigs is still tryin' to get me. I hates pigs!
Here's the hunk of semi-frozen lard-to-be that got me.
Me (holds out hand to show my hubby): They got me.
The Big Man: Holy cow!!! Are you alright?!?!
Me: It's just a flesh wound (I've always wanted to say that).
TBM: Seriously - how did you do that?
Me: On the lard
TBM: But lard isn't sharp!
Me: But its kinda slippery.....
TBM: Do you require medical attention?
Me: Nope. I poured tequila on it. (beats chest, inhales deeply) I'm good.
Just another day, another narrowly escaped visit to the ER. Note to self: Them pigs is still tryin' to get me. I hates pigs!
Here's the hunk of semi-frozen lard-to-be that got me.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Five Things I Love About Farming
1.You are your own boss. Except for the weather – technically the weather is The Boss of You
2.You can go to the feed store in your barn clothes and you won't show up on “The People of WalMart” - everyone just thinks you're a hard core, barnyard warrior. Righteous.
3.You get to be outside everyday. And gettin' dirty is part of the fun.
4.You learn to be really observant. Is that hen limping? Better check – you might have to rush her inside and do an emergency bumblefoot surgery in the bathroom.
5.You have an excuse to be a weather geek. All weather all the time. Watching it, talking about it, planning your day around it... and you can say cool things like, “Sorry, cant talk now – we are racing the weather.”
2.You can go to the feed store in your barn clothes and you won't show up on “The People of WalMart” - everyone just thinks you're a hard core, barnyard warrior. Righteous.
3.You get to be outside everyday. And gettin' dirty is part of the fun.
4.You learn to be really observant. Is that hen limping? Better check – you might have to rush her inside and do an emergency bumblefoot surgery in the bathroom.
5.You have an excuse to be a weather geek. All weather all the time. Watching it, talking about it, planning your day around it... and you can say cool things like, “Sorry, cant talk now – we are racing the weather.”
Sunday, January 3, 2010
How did I get here?
I’ve been thinking lately about how I got here. Sometimes people ask how I did it and mostly I just shrug and say “I dunno. It all kinda happened pretty fast.”
But here’s the long, ‘short-version’ of how it all happened. First, a bit of background. I used to have a big life. Fat, cushy job in an industry some folks would die to work in, money – oh yeah, lots of money. I had a NICE house in town, the works. But I was in a “bad situation” and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I had to get out.
My life was unsatisfying and I’d sit in my office and stare at my vacation pictures and wish I were anywhere but sitting right there. I dreaded going to work every day and I spent my big money making myself feel better because I worked so much. So I worked more so I could buy more things to make myself feel better. It was a vicious cycle. And it wasn’t doing me any good at all.
But here’s the long, ‘short-version’ of how it all happened. First, a bit of background. I used to have a big life. Fat, cushy job in an industry some folks would die to work in, money – oh yeah, lots of money. I had a NICE house in town, the works. But I was in a “bad situation” and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I had to get out.
My life was unsatisfying and I’d sit in my office and stare at my vacation pictures and wish I were anywhere but sitting right there. I dreaded going to work every day and I spent my big money making myself feel better because I worked so much. So I worked more so I could buy more things to make myself feel better. It was a vicious cycle. And it wasn’t doing me any good at all.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Its a farm thing... you wouldn't understand....
Sometimes on a farm there are certain events... some “farm moments” that regular folk just wouldn’t understand. Well, here’s one for you. This happened a month or so ago.
We have this little Bourbon Red turkey hen named, Runner. If she hadn’t tried so hard to set a nest last year she surely would have ended up in the pot by now. In a word, she is ridiculous. Aptly named, she runs. Everywhere. And she is loud. At some point during this summer she was the only one of our 3 turkey hens not on a nest or brooding a clutch. So in her loneliness she screamed. For 3 weeks straight......
We have this little Bourbon Red turkey hen named, Runner. If she hadn’t tried so hard to set a nest last year she surely would have ended up in the pot by now. In a word, she is ridiculous. Aptly named, she runs. Everywhere. And she is loud. At some point during this summer she was the only one of our 3 turkey hens not on a nest or brooding a clutch. So in her loneliness she screamed. For 3 weeks straight......
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