Ohiofarmgirl's Adventures in The Good Land is largely a fish out of water tale about how I eventually found my footing on a small farm in an Amish town. We are a mostly organic, somewhat self sufficient, sustainable farm in Ohio. There's action and adventure and I'll always tell you the truth about farming.

Friday, November 22, 2013

Goat Pimpin': Nibbles Steals the Show

I should have called this "Hot Goats Ready for Love" but I wasn't sure that the title would make it thru everyone's porn filters. But believe me this is SFW. Mostly.

Nibbles. Always classy.

The unpredictable nature of this week just keeps on spinning. Thursday I had planned to spend the entire day canning the rest of the stock from the last whack of turkeys. That was until I went out to feed the goats.

One look at Nibs and I ran for the house, barked into the phone "HOT GOAT! HOT GOAT!", and I left about 6 minutes later.

Nibbles and I drove fast. Real fast. She was in the back seat of my truck screaming in my ear, "FASTER! DRIVE FASTER!" I put the pedal to the metal and in no time I was sliding into the gravel drive of a wonderful goat farm.

"GET THE BUCK! GET THE BUCK!" I yelled as I drug Nibbles' carcass out of the truck and hightailed it across the yard. I was in a hurry because I knew we had to strike while the goat was hot.

The professional herdswoman and I stood and chatted while Nibbles made a fool of herself. We had nearly laughed ourselves sick over ridiculous goat antics when Nibs shook off the amorous advances of the odorous buck.

"I guess she's done." I said and we both shrugged. I handed over my money and took Nibs by the leash and we waved our goodbyes.

Mercifully Nibs was happy to jump up into the truck by herself. Heaven knows I did not want to shove her now-nasty-ass into the backseat.  Just in case, tho, I had intentionally worn one of my husband's most horrid shirts. If it got the buck stank on that ugly shirt I was just going to burn it. However, much relieved from the ants in her pants our dear Nibs was much more accommodating about getting in the truck herself. So she did.

"Lets go." She declared.

We drove away.

Directly to Starbucks that is. Even tho I didn't get any of the buck stank on me... I could feel its putrescence permeating my truck. I walked directly in and washed my hands. I ordered a superdeluxe sugar infused coffee concoction and asked them to shake a little pepper on it because I had a goat in my truck that wasn't getting any fresher.

"Really? Could you bring her over to the drive thru?" Asked an incredibly bright eyed and polite girl.

"Sure!" I said. I got my coffee then pulled around.

Nibbles caused a sensation.

There were some predictable questions... like, "Whatcha doin' taking your goat for a drive?" and "Why did you cut off her ears?" But mostly they smiled and ooohed and aaahed. They wished me well and Nibs and I drove off again.

Let the record show that if all goes according to plan, and I can count correctly, Nibs should have those little money makers on the ground sometime between April 17th and the 19th. These should be some mighty flashy babies.

That's the report for now.  Are you checking your action items off your list?
Dahlia - check!
Nibbles - check!
Debbie - still on her PIP (Performance Improvement Plan)

We should also state that Daisy and Darla were in heat today. They probably will not be bred this year... but maybe. We'll see.

Happy Friday everyone!


Carolyn said...

Good to know one more is checked off. I'm "lucky" that I have a rent-a-buck for three of my gals and don't have to drive to do some goat pimping at the drop of a hat like you do. But of course, the downside of that is I have to deal with the buck goat stank here for a month. P-stinking-U!

Anton said...

I'm glad some goats are getting bred. My girls all came into heat at the end of September and haven't come in again. I'm getting very worried!

MT Dreamer said...

Thanks for sharing another goat adventure! They crack me up and then when I stop laughing this little voice says "are you sure you're really ready for your own goat adventures?!?" Perhaps I better just start with a few chickens and work up the courage from there! Ha!

Vera said...

Our male goat is being courted by several of our sheep, our ram having died (probably from exhaustion) earlier on this year! Hope your goat is now with kid. I think all ours are because they haven't been troubling the male goat for ages.

Ohiofarmgirl said...

You said it Carolyn.... soooo stinky. We might have to burn my truck just from Nibs being in there. yuck!

Wow, Anton! Hope you get those girls knocked up.... *snicker* Do you have any ideas about their weird heats?

MT - you are TOTALLY ready for goats! ha! just prepare for non-stop hilarity.

Vera, we are hoping to have tons of babies in the spring. Now we just have to put up with their constant complaining all winter....

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