Thoughts on becoming entirely goat-less.

I'm having thoughts of becoming entirely goat-less. You'll remember that I took a load of useless and annoying goats up to the auction last fall. 

 Betrayed looks by Debbie. Yeah I staked her to a post.

It turned out better than I expected. I didn't feel (that) bad and I got a pretty good price for them. I also ended up not being annoyed by them all winter... and the Turkey House was not destroyed.

Nibbles half heartedly eating one leaf.

We kept Nibbles and Debbie because they are good grazers and we felt that after all their years of service that we'd just retire them to a quiet life here and everything would be just fine.

Yeah.. no. It's not really working out.

In addition to the five things I don't like about goats it turns out that retiring to a quiet country life is not really a thing for dairy goats.

But she didn't like THAT leaf... she wanted a different one.

A couple things have gone ....not entirely as expected. Such as, naturally the goats continue to cycle thru their heat cycles.... which makes them irritable, loud, and likely to fight each other.

Then we had the incident which has been come to be known as "Debbie Does Hot Doc." Which turned out to be hilarious but was certainly not funny at all when it was happening. I need to tell you about that one... it was something.

Finally, mercifully the stupid wintered ended and we got enough browse out there for the goats. So we pointed them in the direction of all that lush greenery and told them to "get out there and free range, ladies."

They just stood there all cow-eyed and confused. I grabbed a leash and let them beside still waters and to green fields. They screamed and fussed. They took one bite then turned and ran away.

Friends, I do not have the time nor the patience to stand there and watch a couple of stupid goats decide they don't want that leaf... they want THIS leaf... but only half a bite. Then they want this other leaf over there and just one solitary blade of grass.

If I tried to move away they panicked. If I tried to walk up the hill they screamed some more and ran.

"Then be hungry!" I yelled a them as they ran away.

They were.

So then Nibbles started getting out of the goat yard because every one knows that the leaves up by the house were much better than all the leaves down by the pond. We defeated her with a reconfigured, highly charged electric fence. She doesn't think it's so funny now.

I'll also point out that I wasn't staking them out by the road. This was THEIR OWN YARD that they've been in many times before. There is no danger. None.

Later I'd check on them and they'd be standing by the goat house crying because of how no one will feed them. I grabbed the leash, led them down to the yard filled with every shade of green ever seen by the human eye... one bite, two bites... me trying to skulk away..... goats screaming and running back up the hill.

There are somethings in this life that I do not have time for and pandering to annoying and picky goats is one of them. As a confirmed "goat tolerater" and not a goat-lover, my sentimentally about goats extends only to the point where they are wasting my time....and not helping with the brush clearing. We say around here that "everyone works" and if you are not then what are you doing here?

So I'm having thoughts of being entirely goat-less.

Been doing a lot of thinking around here.

Happy Monday everyone.... are you having thoughts of becoming entirely goat-less?

Goats, goat, goats, and other stuff

If you are over on 'the facebook' then you know the reason I've been a little quiet lately is that I bungled up my hip again. Remember when this happened? Yeah.. I had to go back and get urgently cared for again. But they fixed me right up and I'm on the mend. Just watching a lot of TV with the cats.

 Baby goats are very adorable!

So here are some links to keep you entertained. Are you considering getting your goat this spring? Now is a great time to get set up. Folks LOVE goats. I do not. But they are the perfect addition to any barnyard, provided you have patience and good fencing.

Around this time of year folks get really interested in a couple of things:

1. How to bottle feed baby goats (complete with an adorable video)  and...

2. How to fix a broke down goat - an easy peasy way to treat goat polio. 

But there are some other topics folks ask me about including....

How (not) to milk a goat. - Be the Boss Goat.

Goat Milking 201 - once you've gotten up your courage here is how to take it to the next level.

Goat Pimpin' - My hatred for having a buck goat on the farm but why it's sometimes necessary.

How to butcher a goat. For when that buck goat just pushed his luck just a little too far.

If you are investigating getting goats you might wonder what surprises you might be in for or what everyone is NOT telling you. I'm here to blow the lid off What You Need to Know:

What goats are really like?

Not everyone loves goats. Here are five things I do not like about goats.

Just one example of goat foolishness I do not have time for - Goat on a Rope.

So what happens when you go out and and realize that you have too many goats?  One of the hardest thing about farming is that not every body makes it and not every body gets to stay. If you get goats the easiest thing is to let your goat herd get out of control. You must run your farm like a business for your own finance sake....and the sake of your livestock.

Right now we still have Nibbles and Debbie. Mostly to keep them around for grazing and also because they are the two we like. But now that another season is rolling around we may just be at the point where we may be entirely goat-less. But we are still mulling that one over.

Happy Sunday everyone! Are you thinking about getting goats? Any questions I can answer? You know I'll always tell you The Truth About Farming.

Nibbles. Captain of her Destiny.

A little while ago I was out walking thru the barnyard and I caught Nibs asleep in this tub. I tried to sneak away to grab my camera but I woke her up. She was cuter when she was sleeping but I thought she looked rather majestic in her tub... like a captain of a ship.

Nibbles. Captain of her Destiny.

We have an empty box in our living room that we can't move or get rid of - Little Mo has claimed it and spends a lot of time sleeping in that box. We call it his space ship. When I saw Nibs sleeping in that tub - her legs all akimbo - I thought she looked a lot like Little Mo. What a goof.

Of course, today Little Mo was not in his space ship - but how adorable is he?

We have a wacky group here, friends. Just another day in paradise...

Happy Thursday everyone! It's a PERFECT day here - are you enjoying it?

Not every body gets to stay. Goats. Gone.

One of the hard things I'm always saying about farming is that "not every body makes it, and not every body gets to stay." Losses are hard. Even if you do everything right you will still have unexplained, unexpected, and unpreventable losses. You feel each loss heavily because you are always wondering what you could have done to keep it from happening.

Goats. Gone. Packed them up in the car and away they went.

But that is nothing like the weight of the responsibility you feel when you decide that not every body gets to stay. Recently we decided that we need to thin the herd. It was a big step. We are now down to two goats - Debbie, the grand dam of the barnyard, and Nibbles.

I packed up Dahli, Daisy, and the two little ones and took them up to the livestock auction. Now all I can do is pace around and wait for that fat check to arrive and then count my big winnings from the sale.

You'll remember I took some freeloaders up to the auction last fall. It turned out really well and I didn't feel bad at all. But reducing our goat number so drastically was a huge decision. I was really wondering if it was the right one. Having a big pay off will help but there is no guarantee.

The problem we ran into was that out of all the does, Daisy was the only one that had babies this spring. We didn't breed Nibbles on purpose and Dahli and Debbie did not deliver. Do we need goat babies? Nope. But we need the milk and Dahli and Debbie were are biggest producers - a gallon a day each. But around here coffee is for closers....er... I mean... hay is for milkers and neither of them were contributing to the farm. They were just standing out there burning hay.

Daisy, for her part, did have babies this spring however she is...was... our worst milker. Not that she didn't behave on the stand - she just didn't produce a lot of milk. For all the effort and maintenance she literally did not pay off. I gave up even trying to milk her and let her babies have it all.

The other problem was that some of those goats were on my very last nerve. I have hated Dahli every single day of her life - but she milked like her mother so she stayed. I tolerated her ridiculous behavior. But my intolerance for her was growing. All winter she destroyed the turkey house and acted the fool.

Not being pregnant changed her behavior. She made a power play for Debbie's spot as the herd queen and became aggressive. She became more annoying than ever. My very last nerve frayed to the bitter end one morning when I went out to open their door - and she kicked it open into my face. I'm not sure if she did it on purpose but I can't walk around here all day with a big goose egg on my forehead.

So all of these factors came together and we decided we had enough.  I have never been a "goat lover" but was merely a "goat liker"...which descended into being a "goat tolerater".... which became "I'm not paying for them to stand out there uselessly and be destructive."

This decision was a long time coming. Mostly we had to look around and decide what was best for our farm. The problem with having livestock is that you have to manage it like a business - otherwise you will end up with a very expensive petting zoo. Everyone has to produce and "pay their way" or your farm will just become a big money pit. Checks and balances. Inputs and outputs.

One of the things that we were cautioned about when we got our goats was that we needed to have a plan for the kids. Our plan was always to sell them. The problem is that every baby goat is adorable...but then they grow up and they may not be so adorable. Plus there is the expense. It would be foolish for us to run this farm into financial ruin just because barnyard animals are cute. This only works if you have a balance. You literally cannot keep every body.

So you can either make some hard decisions about who has to go or you need to stop the inflow of new comers. Attrition is a strategy...but it has a very long tail. We just lost our oldest chicken, Henrietta. She was at least 10 years old. Goats can live at least that long and longer - there was no way we could wait for attrition to balance the expense of keeping them versus what they were, or in this case, were not contributing.

There at two types of folks who are reading this. Those who are nodding and saying, "Yep. Seems reasonable." And those who are bursting into tears saying, "But those poor little goatsy-woatsys! How could you be so cruel?!?"

Effective livestock management is not cruel. It is The Way of Things. Farming can be emotional but you can't make emotional decisions and expect to have a well run, successful farm. Not every body makes it and not every body gets to stay. And we are not going to jeopardize our financial security for too many goats (or chickens or ducks or what have you.).

But didn't we make a life long commitment to those goats? No. Part of farming is that livestock gets moved around to where they are truly needed and where they will most benefit. That is just part of the deal. Debbie came to us from a professional herd where she did not fit in. She was the problem child there but she was just what we needed. Think of livestock as chess pieces - they are all moved around for the greatest benefit for all.

Unlike our companion animals we see the barnyard crew as livestock. We are not as emotionally attached to our livestock as our dogs and cats. What is the difference? Value, benefit, contribution. We use these as our measuring stick for who gets to stay and who has to go.

Nicholas's value is immeasurable. You can't tell from this picture but he is an apex predator.

We also see a hierarchy among our animals.... food and not food. Apex predators and prey. I tell you the truth - I always root for the lion or the wolf and not the antelope or gazelle. I naturally lean toward predator animals so it is no surprise that we have a house full of wolves and tiny lions. You might not see Nicholas's value but I do.

We also had to factor in what was best for the goats. This summer has been nothing but rain and frankly our barnyard is a muddy soupy mess. So many feet were making it worse. Having fewer feet will make it easier to manage. Our hope is that they ended up auctioned off to a farm where they need more goats - unlike us who needed fewer goats.

Why didn't we just butcher them? Mostly because they are more valuable at the livestock auction then as food. Someone is going to get a terrific milker in Dahli. Daisy is the reason that folks love goats. The doeling had extraordinary coloring...and that little buckling? Um... pretty sure he is going to end up on someone's table but they will value that meal more than we will.

So why did we keep Debbie and Nibbles? They are our oldest goats, the best grazers, and the least annoying. They will be used primarily as grazers and we will evaluate our position as being goatless later this year.

But what about the milk? Well. That is a tricky one. We have not gotten our pigz yet so we do not have the need for as much milk as we normally do for the barnyard. We also have to factor in the need for our personal use. Without saying too much about the personal details of our lives...

*OFG takes out a carefully worded statement from the lawyers (the ducks).....*  "We have determined that Management, from time to time, needs to strategically evaluate various costs and benefits for....."

Oh for heavens sakes. Let's just say, why keep the goat when you get the milk for free? I say no more on this.....*OFG looks offstage where the attorneys are flapping their wings wildly and gesturing her to stay on script......* altho my attorneys would like to add that we are loosely affiliated with industry partners that put us in a unique position that satisfies most of our home dairy product needs.

So taken all together these are the reasons why we have decided to end our relationship with most of the goats.

How do I feel about this? I might have had a twinge of guilt while I was loading up the goats in the car. And I was in a bit of a shock when I saw the sad little betrayed faces as they were being sent down the shoot at the auction. But then later that night I went out for chores and Debbie and Nibbles were already quietly bedded down in the goathouse. The next morning they stood quietly and calmly by the door when I opened it. After even a few days Debbie has never looked better.

So, yep, I think we made the right decision.

Happy Monday everyone! Do you need to thin the herd? Are you managing our livestock or have you gotten in over your head? If you need to make some decisions in the best interest of your farm, just keep saying to yourself, "Not every body gets to stay." It is the way of things, friends.

Little Goat Monday

Look! Little goats!

They are doing great.

Gotta go - need to get some work done before the heat comes on...and before the storms later.  I'm hoping for the cool down tomorrow. It's just like summer out there! I love it but I have some hard work to do and could use a break from the heat.

Happy Monday everyone!

What are goats REALLY like?

I really want to thank whoever posted my story, Goat on a Rope. I'm not sure where it is out there in the interweb but I've absolutely loved the response.  Thank you so much!

Really, Dahli?

One of the great things that happened was that I received a terrific email asking me, "So.... what are goats really like?" After hearing nothing but hard tales of horrific troubles the sender really wanted to know if it's just one awful experience after another of medical maladies and fence jumping... or what?

I thought I'd share my response..... The answer is kind of tricky. Mostly it's about what you are willing to put up with and what you think is adorable.

As far as I can tell there are two types of people:

1. Goat lovers
2. Goat likers

I'm more of a goat liker. Sure, I like them just fine... but oh man.. they are ridiculous. I mean, I like order and discipline and having goats is like having a kindergarten full of flying monkeys. The people who love goats really really adore there cutesy-putsey little faces. Me? Mostly I have my eyes rolled so far in the back of my head at their shenanigans that I have a headache. These are the five things I do not like about goats.

So what do I have them?

Because they are good workers and are productive. We don't have farm animals as pets - we actually have a working farm. Dollar for dollar and pound for pound goats are incredibly hard working and their - if you'll have to pardon my corporate speak - return on investment is tremendous. Once you are set up they are a great value for what they produce. We use the gallons and gallons of milk for the entire barnyard - especially to grow out our pigz that we butcher for our table.

 Would you LOOK at all that milk... yeah baby... that's the stuff.

We have the perfect cycle... we put most of our feed dollars toward the goats who produce milk for the chickens.... who produce eggs for the pigz. The pigz also get goat milk and then get nice and fat....and that makes bacon.....Bacon makes the world go around. We believe we are saving about 30% in our feed costs by using goat milk and eggs for the pigz.

We also use the goat milk to feed out poultry. We don't bother with high protein feed when our turkeys and meat chickens get past the cute stage - we mix corn and goat milk. That makes the nice and plump - then we turn those birds to get out there and free range... and that is how you raise a good and cheap, excellent quality table bird.

 Goats doing proper goat things. Not fooling around.

So goats make sense for our farm. Especially since I can't have a diary cow - for tons of reasons including that we don't have any pasture. But we can take those silly goat out into the woods and they will eat the bramble which gets turned into lovely milk.

As for their personalities?

oh
mi
gosh

Goats make me insane. I have 4 huge working dogs - each over 100 pounds and they all snap to attention and do as ordered which is just the way I like it. The goats? The goats are out there screwing around doing stupid stuff all day. Some people think this is adorable. I do not. Goat do not like order or discipline. They have no honor. They are just goofy.

As for their troublesome health issues... well. There are a million things that could go wrong - but most likely won't. We've never had any dead babies - a few hard births but nothing horrific.

The goats just require "futzing." Unlike chickens you can't just open the door and let them out. You gotta make sure goats don't eat anything stupid, or break into the barn and get the bloat from eating all the corn, or don't get some kind of weird imbalance in their gut (they have a rumen-based digestive system), and you have to keep up with the parasite management. We don't mind using the chemical wormers but some people have a break down over it.

So far we've only had 2 goats flop over dead - both young males. Both, we believe, were the result of some weird parasite - or poisoning. We did all the treatments that were required but .... as we say around here not every body makes it. But we think our record is pretty good.

One of our goats gets a gut imbalance every year - so we make sure that we can fix her up (it's the goat polio). The fix is cheap and easy but if we don't get it in time she could die quickly. Luckily it's easy to spot.

As for fencing, yep. They are hard to keep in the fence. So you have to have really really good fencing. I suggest field fence with a hotwire on the inside. Remember you aren't just fencing the goats IN you are fencing the predators OUT. Don't have predators? Get goats and you will. Mostly it's the neighbor's stupid dog. Or your dog. Goats are the perfect prey - they smell like poop and run when chased. They are no match for one large dog or a couple medium sized dogs working together.

So I think it all boils down to what you can put up with. If you have a good set up then might as well give it a try. Some people just love their smoochie little goats. They are even becoming popular city pets if you can believe that. People keep them in their house and think they are hilarious. People love their interactive nature and their hijinks. This is the only time a little goatie has been in our house and it was only for the picture with Nicholas.

If the lovey-doveyness and cute factors are high enough for you to overlook the initial cost of getting set up (fencing, housing, some routine health costs) then I'd totally say go for it. Especially if you have any interest in home dairy and cheesemaking.

One thing you could look into are smaller variety goats. You could also check out a breeder who is willing to let you visit their farm or who provides "goat keeping lessons" as part of the sales price.

Many folks would rather take a little goatie back from a home that isn't a good fit then have it dumped at a shelter. So don't be afraid to ask about this - goat people like to help new folks get set up. By the way, we don't offer refunds. I just take the money and drive away fast yelling, "No take backs!" But many people are eager to help.

That's what I know about goats. Mostly it's a personality thing. Some people love goats and the rest of us tolerate them. But if you just want something to snuggle then get a cat because they are awesome and don't need any futzing. *Looks lovingly at Nicholas who isn't any trouble at all.*

Happy Sunday everyone! Why did you get your goat?

More on bottle feeding baby goats.

While I'm not entirely sure this winter will ever end, the one thing I am sure about is that baby goat season is going to be in full swing. Soon.

What is the best way to feed a baby goat? Let someone else do it. Thanks, Deb!

We are glad, again, that we waited until later to breed our goats. I'm really glad not to have to milk in this bad weather and I'm really glad not to have to worry about cold little baby goats. Or bottle feeding. Sure some people love it. I don't. I usually don't hate it but it takes up a lot of time.

There are a some reasons why you would bottle feed baby goats:


1. The momma won't take care of them. Nibbles is a prime example. I do not know why she is such a bad mother but she gets an F-.

2. Some people feel that bottle raised goats are more snugly. Bein' as how we are not goat snuggler this argument does not hold water. Eventually we train the goats to do as ordered. It can be a hard road but strength and honor always work.

3. Some diseases are passed from the momma to the baby goats in their milk.

4. You are the purchaser of a baby goat and intend to raise it yourself instead of waiting for the baby to be weaned by the momma.

If you are stuck in this baby-goat-bottle-raising dilemma there is a good way around having to do it yourself. Mostly it involves a willing - or unwilling- participant and a hard working farm dog. We are also lucky that Debbie will nurse anything. Dahli will not nurse anything... she just doesn't have a choice.

What kind of cold hearted people are we that we don't delight in bottle feeding baby goats? Cold. We are ice cold. But mostly we don't have time for shenanigas and we have a whole barnyard full of people who need our attention. So having one of the other goats let the babies nurse is just easier for us.

They are pretty stinkin' cute....

When we sell the babies we switch them over from momma-fed to bottle-fed for the buyers. We have never had a problem with this. Ever. There has never been any crying. It is not hard. No one starves to death. Honestly I do not know what the big deal is about it - but wow I hear a lot of sad stories. Not us. We just march out there and get 'er done.

If you are moved to tears by trying to bottle feed a baby goat I would suggest that you set your jaw, steal your heart, and fix your eye on the task at hand.

Here are some links to teach you what works for us:

• This is our number one post on How To Feed Baby Goats or "Be the Udder."

• And another iteration on what works for us. 

• We'll throw in one more if you are considering getting into goats this year - a few things you should know before you start answering CraigsList ads.

Don't let this little cutie get your goat - just get that bottle feeding done!

It looks like we have one more winter storm to get thru. Yesterday just about everything melted and now it's a big slushy, icy mess. We are expecting more snow later today and tonite and then maybe... just maybe we will start getting out from under this stupid winter.

Happy Wednesday everyone! Now, is everyone ready to march out there and give that baby goat a bottle?

ps. If you didn't see this be sure to tune into the new and improved 'the facebook' page. I'm not entirely sure what I think about it... this change. But I'm working on making the best of it.

The Big White Out

This is what it looks like out there right now....

 Yep. So much fun.

And this is all that I can think about... I miss my lettuce bucket. 

The other day I had to buy stuff to make salad and it was about $9 of what I could have gotten for free in my yard. I miss my lettuce. I miss my basil. I miss going and pulling a green onion.

Instead The Big White Out of Doom is upon us. This storm is really blowing thru. Tomorrow the high may be 6* with windchills in the -20*. It's gonna be a crippler. No one will be outside tomorrow. I've already shut the goats in for today.

Currently the goats are in the Goat House. The only reason they are still there is because I had just taken them a huge armload of hay. We've decided to move them to the Turkey House later this afternoon. I guess a little more destruction is better than chancing it with a heatlamp.

My biggest concern - aside from them all fighting and destroying the Turkey House some more - is that one morning Dahlia got out of the Turkey House. I'm not sure how. But if she gets out tonite/early tomorrow morning then she might be a goner. Let's hope for once she behaves.

Chores tomorrow will be done in double time with warm-ups in the garage. Hopefully we will catch a break and it won't be so bad.

Happy Saturday everyone - are you staying warm? How's the storm where you are?

Friable soil, can you dig it?

Yesterday it was barely warm enough to work outside for a bit. I ran right out to my treasure trove.....

Can you believe it? We got a whole stack of broken down boxes. 

One of the more irritating things about this property is that we have that weird, invasive weed garlic mustard. It's everywhere and it grows when nothing else does. I'm constantly battling it in the gardens.

With all our poultry and pets there is no way I'd just use herbicide. This year my goal is to smother it. This is where the cardboard comes in. Yesterday I laid it out all over ones of the gardens.

I doubled it over so anything under it will die! Die! Die! I hope.

The next step is to shovel out the chicken house and put that barn litter on top of the cardboard. By the time the planting season comes around I'm hoping to have nothing but weed free, friable soil just waiting to be planted.

Friable soil, can you dig it? Yes... yes I can.

Unfortunately my outside work day was cut short when the wind kicked up. I was able to give a hard trimming to the peach trees. So either they are going to be magnificent and will be loaded with fruit... or I killed them. We'll see.

We have another huge cold front coming thru and one of those weird days when we've already had our high temperature. There are windchill warnings for later today. I need to figure out something to do with the goats. Later this week we may hit a new 100-year record for low temperatures.... well below 0*.

I have two bad choices with the goats - put them back in the Turkey House which they will continue to destroy - or put a heat lamp out in the Goat House and risk them screwing around and burning the whole place to the ground. For whatever reason Dahlia is just a maniac right now. She has taken over being the Herd Queen from Debbie - which does not bode well.

Ratty Nibbles and goofy Daisy.

Nibbles just looks terrible and her attitude is worse. Don't worry - that's just her under coat coming out - like Bubby. But wow... lookin' bad, Nibs.

Happy Thursday, everyone! Did you get outside to work a little be before the next cold wave?

Five things I do not like about goats.

You'll remember that I didn't know a lot about them when I got my first goats. All I knew was that they would eat poison ivy. When I drove up to meet that gal who was selling Nibbles and her annoying sister I asked a lot of questions. One of them was, "What are three things that surprised you about owning goats." I don't remember the other two but the point that I do recall was that she said, "How developed their personalities are."

Sure they start out little and cute....

"Humm.... " I thought to myself. How fun to have happy little creatures who have a lot of individuality and spunk.

Yeah.

Right.

After all this time what I can tell you that their "developed personalities" have still not won me over. Which brings us to this post which I will call..... Five things I don't like about goats.

This is how it starts. Just wait. They will start pushing and shoving soon.

1. The bellyaching. We like the La Mancha breed because they seem to be the quietest in the goat world. But I can tell you for a fact there is still a fair amount of bitchin' happening out there. I don't like it. For a lot of reasons we didn't breed Nibbles this year and I'm beginning to think it was a mistake. From time to time, when I'm trying to make her life better, she just stands there and screams. I think it's from the continuing heat she's been having.

Nibbles and her bad attitude. Every day. Every. Dang. Day.

2. They are destructive. During our last cold snap we tried putting the goats in the Turkey House which holds the heat better, would be easier to run a heat lamp out to (which we never had to), and is more protected form the wind. You'd think we sent them to the gulag with the way they acted. Instead of enjoying the snugly warmth they pretty much destroyed the inside of the Turkey House. I'll have some major fixing to do later this spring. I'll need to replace some of the wire mesh, fix the doors,  and all the latches. I could have grilled them all. So now they are mad that they can't go back over there. Tough too bads . And you'll remember that buck that jumped thru a glass window. We still need to fix that too.

Good thing you are pregnant, Daisy!

3. They get out of the fence. Normally we don't have many escapes from the goat yard but wow were we surprised the other day when we got home and all the goats where standing in the driveway. Thank heavens they didn't get into the garage and eat all the feed! Somehow they had gotten one of the gates opened. Other folks have more problems with escaping goats then we do - mostly because the dogs let me know if goats are out...and the goats know that the dogs mean business. But since we were gone most of the day - the goats just thought they should go on a walk about.

Lookin' ratty, Debbie, you are looking really ratty. Just eat the minerals and stop fooling around!

4. The require a certain amount of fiddling and upkeep. We are entering the time of year when Debbie starts to fall apart. After months of only eating hay she almost always gets a case of goat polio.... which is as bad as it sounds. We've been fixing her up lately.  People more experienced than you and me say that some goats are just more prone to it - so we are doing a lot of fixing and upkeep. Hopefully the weather will break and we can get her the best fix - which is to eat fresh browse and lots of blackberry leaves.

Every day. Every. Dang. Day.

5. The foolishness. I like order and discipline. Not tomfoolery and hijinks. Goats are chalk full of foolishness and it wears on my soul. Every day. Every stinkin' day we have to go thru the goat food dance and I'm about to lose my mind. The pushing, the shoveling, the wailing, and the stark ingratitude when those silly girls act like they have never been fed before and probably will never been fed again. Right now Dahlia is the worst. She has decided that she is the queen bee and is tormenting everyone including me. It's a good thing she is pregnant and has a history of being a good producer.

One of my blog pals recently decided to stick with cows and ... ahem.. ended their relationship with goats. I have to say that I'm leaning that way. They are a fair amount of work and I just really do not love them at all.

But then I think about how much money those goats actually save us. People ask me why we keep animals that I don't like. The hard answer is that the milk they produce makes it possible for us to keep the circle of life going here on our little farm. The goat milk feeds the chickens who produce the eggs that make our bacon.

When the goats are really producing we just keep pouring that milk on the entire barnyard - we think we save 30% at least on our feed costs by foregoing expensive layer mash and hog chow and sticking with feeding goat milk and corn. So the math works for us.

Good thing, goats, otherwise I might be handing out pink slips.

Happy Friday everyone! Are your goats gettin' your goat? How annoying are they? Do you love them? That's fine. Someone has to... not me. Harrumph.

I think it worked...and you still have a little bit of time!

I think our goat breeding worked! At least... I think it did. We won't know for sure until about the 28th. But there is a lot of this going on.....

 ...they never lay like this. 

All of the goats are starting to look different - their belly shapes are different and they are all licking their sides. A lot. And laying around which is kind of weird for them.

I think Debbie already looks different.

The goats are also acting like crazy people. I think there might be a coup d'etat going on with Daisy making a play to be the Queen B. As in Queen B*tch. She is really something these days and may be trying to overthrow Debbie who has been our herd queen. Unfortunately, Nibbles is getting the worst of it. She is the only mini in a herd of full sized goats...and they are really beating her up.

It looks like she took a pretty hard hit to the face the other day - and when I opened the goat house Dahlia's scur was bashed off. So nothing but goat wars.

The tricky part is that Nibbles is extremely destructive when she is alone. Since she isn't getting along with anyone right now it's going to be hard to figure out who should bunk with each other. There is going to be a lot of goat shuffling this winter. 


And now a commercial word from our sponsor..................

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My wish list.... thanks to Farmer Liz's suggestion (congrats on your blog-anniversary!!)  I am now using the magnetic knife holder to also hold my huge spatulas...and all kinds of other things.

There is always my favorite book list - still my top picks for farming/homesteading.

Or canning tools?

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Happy Friday everyone - thank you so much for your support!

Goats: Mission Accomplished!

Mercifully, I believe that we are now done with goat breeding for this season. Yesterday was a goat-a-rific day. And by that I mean it was horrible and I'm glad it's over.

 Goatherd.

We loaded up Debbie and Daisy and headed over to the farm near us to visit that terrific Alpine buck and his sidekick. We should have been there for exactly 10 minutes. Things did not work out as we expected.

I have to hand it to Daisy. She was done in 2 minutes. The little buck I renamed, "Mr. Wonderful" got the job done and without further ado I handed Daisy's leash to my husband and he walked her out of the goat pen. Check.

Then there was Debbie. Yes, she was in heat. Yes, she knows how this goes. No, she would not cooperate. We all ended up trying to hold her. It was terrible. I can't believe we skipped church for that. I'm very sure that what happened in that buck pen, and my participation, are a smiting offense. Ew.

The buck owners were very sympathetic and resorted to baby talk to try and calm Debbie down. That is not how I do things. I went directly to Yosemite Sam. I informed Debbie to quit goofing around and get over there and get her business taken care of. She didn't. There was running, a chase, more foolishness. I just about gave up.

I told the nice folks that maybe we should just come back tomorrow. I think Debbie heard me and panicked because then she got her business taken care of. I handed over the buck fee, we loaded up the goats, and drove away covered in buck stank and irritation.

I got home, burned my clothes, beached everything else, and applied bourbon to my day. It took the edge off.

If things go according to plan then the due dates should be:

Daisy:  April 30th
Debbie: April 27 - May 1

We bred the goats pretty darn late last year... but the extreme cold at the end of the season made us glad that we did. That is one of the reasons we waited again so long this time. Also, these due dates are closer to the time where there will be a lot of bramble leafing out...and only about a month away from the first hay cutting.

We aren't overly concerned about selling the kids - especially since we found out how easy it is to take them to the auction. If Debbie has a doeling I might consider keeping her as a future milker. The buck came from really good milking lines - and had pretty interesting coloring. So we'll see.

Nibs. Outstanding in her field. She's a pip, isn't she?

What about Nibs? No dice. We think that she has performed admiraly during her tenure here and now she can just relax. But mostly because if we have three gals who can milk a gallon a day (Deb, Dahli, and Daisy) there really isn't any reason to have Nibs and her "maybe a quart or so" production. We thank Nibbles for all her years of service, will give her a lovely pen as a token of our thanks, and then put her out to pasture. And really... we mean pasture. From now on she can just be outstanding in her field. And maybe work on that attitude.

Happy Monday everyone! Did you miss church because of goat breeding?

Dahli. Done. And.. dog wash.

We've had an eventful day. I need to get in my notes that today was Dahli's special day. We threw her in the back of the truck and rushed her up for a date with a shaggy Alpine buck at a spectacular farm.

My Most Excellent Good Sir. Vexed. And guarding his new rawhide chew.

It worked. It really, really worked. Initially she wasn't interested in their senior buck so they got The New Guy. Dahli went hog wild. It was horrible and I might have nightmares. I shoved the buck fee at the owner and we drove away as fast as we could.

My official notes say that Dahli has a typical gestation of about 141 - 145 days. So that means we can expect babies.... whenever she feels like it because lets face it, goats are insane. But we'll shoot for April 22 - 26th. 

I'm hoping that we can take Debbie and Daisy up there this weekend when they due to be in heat. Honestly, I just want this to be over with. You know I have zero love for goat breeding.

What about Nibs? Well. We decided that we are not going to breed her. Between Deb and Dahli we get a huge bucket of milk. If Daisy is going to pull her weight then Nibbles' paltry quart a day just isn't worth it. Sorry, Nibs. No love for you.

In other news. These are the things my Dog#1 does not think are funny. At all:

1. You, standing too close to me.
2. Going to the dog wash.

He has had plenty of shenanigans for today. However, he is now significantly less stanky and he is nice and clean.

Have you been to the self serve dog wash? It's really the best thing going. The local PetsMore has this service. You buy the tokens at the cashier then haul your uncooperative dog back to the special dog wash room. They have a kind of car wash set up (pre-wash, suds, rinse, etc) and a nice dog shower ready for use.

Mostly you don't get wet... and they have a huge pile of towels available.  And a special blow dryer.  But the best part is that you don't get dog hair all over your own bathroom. For just $10 this was totally worth it.

It's really fun. Well. I thought it was fun. My Most Excellent Good Sir did not think it was amusing at all. He was vexed. But as always, he silently endured the humiliations galore.

Everyone at the store was wow'd by my big white wolf. But they all stayed back thanks to my "don't mess with my dog" stare.

For his cooperation we stopped at the treats aisle and got him a special candy cane shaped rawhide chew. But he just wanted to go home and sulk. So he did.

None of this was planned for today. Farming - you never know what is going to happen.

Happy Tuesday everyone! Do you take your dog to the dog wash?

So Nibbles is in heat...

I know this isn't the pre-Thanksgiving post that you want but it's the one you are going to get. I need to make a note that Nibs is out there screaming her head off, wagging her tail, and looking longingly at..... the pigz. Things could get ugly.

 Bitty - not Nibbles. No one wants to see Nibbles out there wagging her bottom.

Hopefully all that will happen is that 3 weeks from now I'll do a "hot goat" transport up to the breeder. Presumably, Nibbles will shame herself and I won't have to think about it for five months.

But Bitty is very cute and look at this little paw!

Next on the agenda is tracking down a buck for the rest of those harlots. I believe Daisy was in heat yesterday so now I have at least a calender of events, such as it is.

As for Thanksgiving, I don't think I'm up to butchering two pigz this weekend so they are getting a stay of execution and we'll just sit around and eat turkey.

Here are a few more appropriate pre-Thanksgiving posts.

Turkey Day Tools - what you need to pull off the perfect Thanksgiving.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles - since it looks like the Eastern Seaboard is gonna be a hot mess.. you might want to stay home, make some cookies, and watch the best Tday movie ever.

Upside down pear cake - Do you need a stunning dessert that is not pie? Check this baby out. It's easier than it sounds and makes a big splash.

World's Best Pie - What about a not-exactly traditional pumpkin pie? How about this one. Seriously, it is a hit....and a breakfast food.

Happy Wednesday everyone! Are you ready for Turkey Day or are you distracted by a hot goat?

Got my big winnings from the auction!

I've been a bit under the this ridiculously cold weather so let's short hand this...

 Nicholas. Not sold at the auction.

Gas up to the far away auction: about $20
Time: most of the day but it was superfun
Fees to the auction:  $16.50

Total big winnings: $133.50

Getting rid of no-good-nicks and the Loudest Goat Ever: Priceless.

It looks like they sold Darla alone ($75) and the two little ones together ($75). 

So I'll go with "good enough." Wish it was more, glad it wasn't less, and still totally worth it.

Happy Thursday everyone! Looks like we'll get a break in the weather on Saturday. What a week!

First real snow.

Here it is... the first real snow. I'm noting this because it's kind of early and entirely annoying.

But hey! I get to use my "snow only" coffee cup!

The dogs are over joyed by the snow. Zander and Kai don't want to be inside at all. Zander has been woofing for me to hurry up so he and Kai can get back to goofing in the snow.

Kai couldn't be happier about the snow.

At this writing it's still snowing but should clear off this afternoon - then things will get dicey. Tomorrow will be a crippler with possibly record breaking cold - windchills will most likely be below zero. I'm expecting the barnyard will have an inside day.

The goats are extremely angry about being cooped up together but that is their tough too bads. Unfortunately that is also my "I guess I can repair that later." They are destroying the inside of the Turkey House and have busted thru all the latches. I needed the dog and my husband to help keep them in so I could feed and water them yesterday.

Sure I could let them out - where they would promptly start bawling about how cold it is and what is this snow and will I pah-leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze let them back inside that nice warm Turkey House? Goats. I need to tell them how shockingly easy it was to dump those extra ones off at the livestock auction...and I didn't even say goodbye.

I think Zander is going to help me with them this morning. I'm pretty sure those goats won't be so lippy with The Black Death giving them the stink eye.

Happy Snow Monday everyone! Are your goats inside? Are they mad?

Goat Notes: who is in heat.

We are still gripped by our cold snap and it will only get worse in the next couple of days. This morning all of the remaining goats were chilled. We ended up putting them all in one side of the Turkey House. This should be interesting....

Nibbles, back in the salad days of early summer when everyone was happy.

We'll see who and what is still standing out there tomorrow because as far as I can tell... most of them are in heat. Like I said... should be interesting. They haven't killed each other. Yet.  And so far no one has busted out looking for a man....er... buck.

Which leads me to my yearly griping and complaining about goat breeding season. I don't know why I do this to myself.  You you will recall, keeping a buck did not work out for us at all. Altho he was delicious, I am not putting myself thru that again. Good thing Nibs turned out to be just fat.

I need to look around, begrudgingly, and find another buck - who will be here for a limited time ONLY. I have a line on a couple of options so we'll see what happens.

Today, Sunday 16th:
Nibbles = in heat
Debbie = in raging heat

Which puts their next heat about Dec 7th or so.... so more May babies.

I'll have to see how Dahli and Daisy are doing but they were not acting like loons this morning. I had to get the dog to get ahold of Debbie. She gets an F- for today. The dog gets an A+. 

I'm pretty disappointed that none of the ladies were interested in that little buckling. But I guess they just thought he was some kind of upstart and didn't want anything to do with him.

And now that I have my goat notes done I'm going to make a monstrous, meaty bolognese and sit around by the fire.

Happy Sunday everyone!

Nibbles. Just fat.

Remember when all of this was going on? We really didn't know if that bad buck got Nibs or not. For a while there we were very very nervous that Nibs was pregnant and would end up with fall babies.

Nibs. Just fat. 

We even had a guy come out and look at her.

"That's one fat goat." He said.

But was she pregnant? He couldn't tell but he could come back out and bring a mobile sonograph machine and....

"No. That's just fine." We said.

Then he drove off with over $100 of my folding money, laughing at having to do a vet call for a fat goat. I tell you the truth. If I was starting my career over I'd become a large animal vet and then sit around on a huge pile of cash, laughing. But then, you know that cows and I don't mix well so that probably wouldn't work out for me.

We figured we could use Nibbles fatness as an excuse to "establish a relationship" with a farm vet that we heard would drive all the way out here. This way if we ever have some kind of ridiculous emergency we could actually get a vet to come out. We learned the hard way that, no, a farm vet will not just drive all the way out here on a Sunday nite at 10pm if we weren't already clients. So now we are and I think that Nibs did all this fatness just to spite us.

Since then Nibs has been on a restricted diet and from time to time I chase her around the goat yard so she can work off a few of those extra pounds. It's working. Now that the Age of Nibbles' Fatness is over we have to start to think about getting her a date. Heaven help me, you know I can't stand goat breeding season. 

Happy Sunday everyone! Do you have a fat goat? What about a farm vet?

No really - she's just fat. Right?

Um..... we're still going with "she's just fat." Right? RIGHT?

Dang Nibs..... things could get interesting around here. 

Any thoughts?

Happy Thursday everyone! Let's hope she doesn't blow!

Barnyard update: She's just fat.

The other day the both of us were lookin' at Nibbles and thinking... um.... do you think she is pregnant? You might remember that this could be a very real possibility because of that buck we had and his jumping thru the window shenanigans.

We honestly couldn't tell.

Nibbles - just fat.

But then on Tuesday the 10th it was pretty obvious that Nibs was in heat. So while we are glad we aren't going to have babies in October.... we have a hot goat on our hands. Next up was Dahli in heat-ish yesterday. I'm noting these so we can start thinking about what happens in three weeks when they go back into heat.

Of course neither one of us has thought about a "breeding plan." Especially since our whole big failure with the other bucklings. So someone has to get their act together.

We are considering NOT breeding Nibbles this year - and we are on the fence with Debbie. Nibs is just kind of a pain to milk compared to the big-bagged full sized girls. And Debbie has just always looked pretty ratty - and now even more so. The great thing about Debbie is that she really puts it in the bucket. The bad thing is that she really puts all of her energy into her milk and so her condition isn't great. Remember also that she had some congestion in her extra huge, ground dragging udder.

I have a lead on a meat buck that isn't too big... so that might be the way to do. We can get him next month, lock Nibbles up, and then see what happens. Then our breeding plan will end in a big butcher day.

Elsewhere, very sadly two of the surprise chicks did not make it. I was so glad that I found their momma! I think she had gotten locked in a coop at night with the babies still under that momma duck. That explains why the babies were running around loose. I found the momma hen sitting on the duck later that day - so I scooped her up and showed her the babies. They ran to her and she sat on them very happily. But unfortunately I think she stepped on two of them. The last singleton is still hanging in there and if he makes it the next couple days I think he'll be in the clear.

Also one of the chickens flopped over dead yesterday. I have no idea why - no sign of obvious sickness, injury, or being egg bound. She was in the middle of a terrible molt and then that was just it. So drat. I'm noting this just in case we see others die of mysterious causes.

One last note... did you see that there is a big solar storm coming? I just think it's amazing that we have space weather updates. I have no idea what, if anything, will happen but I'm pretty sure that it's going to make the goats go completely looneytunes. But hey! Space weather! Whoot!

Happy Friday everyone! Do you have your goat breeding plan in place?